I am 17 years old, and maybe I'm just desperately trying to find a reason for my lethargy, but I think I am depressed. I have various symptoms--weight gain, feeling hopeless, self-deprecating, etc, and even though everyone tells me that it's a phase, probably related to college apps, I just don't know what to do with myself. It's getting harder and harder for me to get out of bed in the morning, I have so many absences, I feel lost.
I want to go on medication, but I am scared of mind-altering meds. I don't want a therapist, I don't like the idea of people who are paid to take an interest in me, and I don't have the time anyway. I just need to get out of this--it just weights me down; it's hard to breathe, to see, to stay awake--or to fall asleep, depending on the situation. How do I arrange an appointment with a doctor? I'm underage...should I talk to my pediatrician, I don't know?
In terms of suicide, someone in my grade just shot himself. I don't seriously consider suicide, but I mean, I think about it. Doesn't everyone? I'm saying I don't think I would ever actually do it, but I still think about it, you know, how people would feel, that kind of thing. Is that normal? Either way, something needs to be fixed.
Please Help