Wow. He MUST get some counseling. Maybe an intervention type thing would work with him. If he saw all his loved ones around him, along with a professional surrounding him at home and doing/saying whatever it is you do in an intervention, he would feel the love and support of everyone all at once and feel overwhelmed by it (in a positive way) and agree to go. It really doesn't sound good, and as a mom of two boys myself, I can relate to how I think I would feel. It must be horrible for you and your family.
I would get some information on an intervention and how to prepare and do it right away. I, too, would be terrified that he would attempt suicide again, especially if you don't know why, it would really require some in depth counseling to get at the root and provide some meds along with learning new behaviors, etc.
Again, let me state, that I would NOT WAIT. I would do this RIGHT AWAY. I hope this helps some.
We dont have an intervention option in our area. We live out of town and the crisis intervention team does not go where we live (in Canada) How stupid is that? :(
Our only option is to call 911 and have police intervene to take him into the psychiatric ward of our local hospital under the Mental Health Act. This is what we had to do last month when he tried to commit suicide. They only do this if he shows 1) harm to himself, 2) harm to others, 3) suicide note stating his intention. Right now there is none of that but I dont see any improvement.
I have made an appointment for counselling myself in hopes that I can convince him to go with me. Whether we sit with the counselor on our own or together will be an option if he goes.
As a side note, my husband has not been much help in all of this. He totally shutdown when this all occured, pretty much threw himself into his work and left me to deal with it all. So needless to say it's all on my shoulders. I'm sure my son is getting tired of listening to me talk continuously so hearing advice from someone outside the family would definitely help. He's never been a trusting individual so this is all extremely difficult.
ok so i just typed out this whle long thing and now I am a little upset that i erase it so I do not want to go through typing it all out again. But I am 22, I am bipolar and have borderline personality disoder. I go through what your son is going through. Talking to someone who goes through what he goes through helps a lot. I dont lik counselling, and dont like taking meds.I find understanding the illness helps me the most. I was suicidal for years, but have not attempted in 4 years. I still have te bad thoughts, but would never act on them. Maybe if your son as t talk to someone his own age that has th same kind of problems that may help. I understand what you are going through asI have watched my mother go through the same thing. Maybe next time I will go into more detail, the detail I put in and was eraed :( I ill add you on here, and maybe you can send me a message, and I will get back to you.
Also, interventions do not work the same way with people who are depressed, I feel like it pushes us away, and makes us uncomfortable. Knowing that people around me love me has not helped me at all. It has not made me want to do things that i know i should do. What has helped me the most is my mother understanding what go through and not pushing me to do things, just being there when I need her the most.
Feel free to email me with any help or suggestions. I just dont know what more to do for him. He has one friend he met last year who has kept in contact with him but he's just pushing her away. He has always had a hard time socially. The other male friend he had disowned him about 6 months ago over an online romance - they both were after the same girl apparently.
I have checked into support groups for his age but there is nothing available. I know that he would benefit from talking to someone his own age and not to me. I mean does a 20 year old boy really enjoy spending all his time with his mom? Tonite, as tired as I am, I'm taking him to see a movie just to get him out of the house - he reluctantly agreed to go.
A counselor I talked to a few months ago said to leave him be and see how he manages. Well, he managed to attempt suicide. I just do not know what more to do for him.
Ok, here is my suggestion, he wont like it, and you probably won be all that fond of it... call a mental hospital and tell them he has attempted suicide and you fear he will do it again... they will pick him up and keep him for up to a week to watch him... in that time he may see the other crazy people and realize he isnt all that crazy... it worked for me... i felt crazy while i was in there, but I was told I wasnt that crazy, ad when I left i left believing that I was not all that bad off. I brought myself in though and could leave at anytime. If you call, he cant leave unless they let him leave.
P.S. If he would be willing to talk to me, I would talk to him, I wouldnt lecture him, or push anything on him,I just know how I would react, I would treat him the way I would want to be treated, I will senda personal message wth my email so he can add me to msn if he would like