I dont get it

[Pattyjeff]

I have been put on so many different medications in the last 3 months for severe depression and none of them seem to be helping. I first started taking zoloft about 12 years ago and it worked great for me, I always seemed to be happy, well for the most part, nothing I couldnt overcome. Nowadays seems like im giving up hope, ive seen a psychiatrist, psychologis, family dr., read so much on the internet, read books, and nothing seems to be helping. Ive gotten as bad as to where i am scared literally to be alone, I shake so bad, I panic to the point to where i feel like i cant think at the moment. The whole world seems different, strange, and miserable. I dont see the point in life, I mean why do you do things you do, why do you sit there and just waste time, what are you waiting on? Yeah things pass the time and occupy you for the moment but what are you waiting for...what is the point? Cant seem to find a reason anymore, I have 2 kids that i do love more than anything in this world and they are the only reason i think that i havent done anything too stupid, that and the fact that i am scared to die, I mean i do wanna live more than anything but i dont understand why all of a sudden i cant seem to see the light i used to. I remember just enjoying watching a movie at home, or playing a game with my son, working overtime because i wanted so much and now seems like none of that interest me anymore. I havent been able to work for 3 months now due to all of this and its getting bad because my little one has to depend on me for financial reasons..as his father is worthless on drugs and hasnt ever done anything for him, the older one has a great dad so he is ok. Anyways my psychiatrist started me off by increasing zoloft, which was too much couldnt function on it, then he tried me on lexapro for about 3 weeks no improvement, cymbalta couple days and it was horrible, prestique a few days it was worse made me kick things and hit things absolutely hated it, wellbutrin for about two days ended up in ER body was shaking so bad uncontrollably , vomitting, paxil the rest of the time not working, the dr. also gave me xanax for anxiety cant function on it so i dont take it besides i heard it depresses you even more, ive been taking 5htp now had a few good days but still cant seem to see the point of life. Is there anybody out there who has ever felt this way and if so how did you overcome it, I feel like I have to start somewhere and i have no idea how to start. Please help!!!!

[Hensley258]

Your condition and med past sounds like mine.
I think the reason people like you and I respond better to SNRI's is becuase our depression is caused by a severe lack of Norehinepherine.

SSRI's do not address the Norephinepherine side of our illness, which is why I think Norotenergic drugs work best for me.

Oh! I wanted to tell you (Just in case the FX ever stops working for you.) Three weeks ago my Psych put me on a tri-cyclic called Protriptilyne. Unlike it's sister drugs Amitriptilyne and Nortriptilyne, this one effects only Norephinepherine.

It's been three weeks now and it just kicked in two days ago. I was so relieved. It really is working as good or better than FX did for me, and check this out, No sexual side effects with Protriptilyne at all. In fact I have had no side effects from this drug at all.

I take it with Lithium and Lamictal (I'm not bi-polor either, but the mood stabilizers help)

Keep this Protriptilyne as a back up plan if you ever need it.

[whodunnit]

Hey Hensley,


I was put on FX, and lithium despite not being diagnosed as BP at that time at all. My partner and I knew though I'd had one 6 week period of hypomania which GP's flat out denied face to face. Not to mind. As you'd know lithium is used to help us flatten out the moods regardless of diagnosis.

I was gone at the time I went on FX, truly just wanted to die. The only way I kept going was though my partner's support and telling myself I could do it tomorrow instead of today. Did that for 3 months.

Once on the FX I felt nothing was helping and did not notice any change at all. It was my partner who first did, at about the 6 week mark. She said something like "Your face has changed, you don't look sad any more". I had a look and she was right but I did not notice it physically.

Once I had seen the change I allowed my body to feel it, if that makes sense. I think I was just so wound up and believed there was no escape that I wouldn't allow an escape. Sounds screwed up but I was, still am in some ways but not down like that.

Went to 550 mgs over a period, can't remember how long now, it's 10 years ago. But had to make a change and that was unpleasant. Bad come off, nasty visual distortion thingy I can't describe. Like watching through a strobe light, a bit. And the new meds were useless.

Went through a pile of them over time with some results but quickly fading away. None did anything like FX anfd lithium for me so I eventually asked to go back on.

Doc said yes and it worked great, again, only about 6 months that time from memory so had to switch again. Tried many more including my bete noir, Avanza which gave me permanent oedema and leg pain, and about 18 months ago I asked again to go on to FX.

Good results again. This time I've only gone to 300 mgs and had no need to change in nearly 18 months.

I have previously been back on other meds I've had over the years but to be frank I suspect most are sugar pills. Particularly prozac. For me anyway.

But FX is the only one I've returned to regularly and the reason is obvious. It bloody works. Second time off, no side effects whatsoever so  I'm hoping if I have to go off that will be the same.

I no longer feel afraid or contemplate the future as I did. Anxiety is something that still happens but only in reaction to a real situation. IE my football team is in a close game or my partner is late home etc.!!!

I isolate as I have a lot of anger and see nothing out there I want anyway. I go out when I need to but minimise the trigger possibilities.

I write this extra stuff so you might measure the difference between my use of FX and my changing lifestyle to adapt to my illness. I've learnt how it works, why, when and how it started (luckily) and I stopped fighting it a few years back now as that is exactly what the illness wants us to do. Fight and fail so we are exhausted. I just let it wash over me when it comes and the effect is minimal. My best advice to anyone is to stop fighting and learn to accept it and learn how it works. You must.

I've learnt that those overpowering thoughts are just thoughts, created by me and nothing more. They bear no relation to what may happen at all and rarely do any of my negative predictions actually happen. So I listen to them and ignore them really.

Most of all though I have learnt to think what I want to think when I want to. In days gone by I'd lie down and try to sleep and all the usual **** would hit me, you know how that goes. Endless self beatings, predictions of misery and so on. It was so regular I did not think I had any say in it.

I did two CBT courses about 4 - 5 years back and declared them a total failure as it didn't work for me, then. I strongly believe my concrete brain has finally absorbed those lessons and allowed me to now switch thoughts when I hear the **** start. It's truly amazing how easy it is once you learn it. Only took me about 40 years!!! Piece of pie!! Now I just pick a topic and focus on it and the bad stuff gets thrown out. Amazing. It's still there waiting though, always.

So I'm saying FX is easily the best for me and that right now maybe I'm finally coming to terms with the illness and it's effect on me instead of being hit by lightning as it did those first few times. But I wouldn't pick any other med over it. And lithium is a must too as I am now BP2 diagnosed, had 2 more periods over the 10 years only but that's enough to "qualify" apparently.

Hope this is of some use as what I really like most of all about these sites is actually connecting and giving some useful info to someone. I've had plenty of tips from people over the years and I try to put back in, albeit I'm a lot blunter than I used to be.

Best, mate

[Hensley258]

Wanted to ask you: Did you find that revisiting Effexor after some time off of the drug had any positive effect for you?

Effexor once worked very well for me with Lithium, but damn it just stopped working even at 475Mgs a day. That was many years ago. I had thought that just maybe if I tried Effexor again after so many it may work again.

I have tried revisiting once working meds before, but they never seem to work once they poop out on me the first time around.

[whodunnit]

Hi Patty,

So sorry things have deteriorated this much.

I have to say I do not like the sound of your pdoc as 3 days on a med is a waste of time. Might as well not bother at all. Every med needs at least 2 weeks before you know how it's going. Some do take much longer, 6 weeks and more. So to have used multiple meds in a 3 month period will have just confused your body and brain and ruined any chance that any of those meds could have helped.

Hensley says docs suggest Effexor and a mood stabiliser when we reach the stage you are at. I was at your stage and probably a lot worse 10 years ago. Didn't eat, thought suicide all day and slept little. Lost a ton of weight and just thought of nothing but the misery and dying.

My current pdoc prescribe me Effexor and lithium at that time and 6 weeks later I was back on the planet and OK'ish again. Saved my life, allowed me to think like a human being again and be a part of my family too.

I've been on Effexor 3 times now, including currently as it too wears out in time. I had to go to a high dose that first time, 550 mgs, to get relief but if the doc knows the meds and you it's fine.

Don't give up. I'd suggest a couple of weeks in hospital would be ideal if you can do it whilst starting a new med, under daily supervision. I had 2 weeks in and it was actually great for me but it's different for each of us.

Good luck and look after yourself as your kids need you for life.

[Hensley258]

You are and have become resistant to SSRI's.
I have been there and done that many times with many types of medications.

You did pretty good though because you got a good 12 years from Zoloft. I only got 4 years of effectivness before it pooped out on me. IN most cases when a person has built a resistance to SSRI's like Zoloft then trying other SSRI's such as Lexapro, Paxil, ect... offers little relief.

The next step most Psychiatrist will take when this happens is to either move you to an SNRI such as Effexor or add a mood stabilizer to the SSRI that your already taking. Lithium does a good job of boosting the effectivness of Zoloft. Even then it will only buy you another couple years on Zoloft.

This building tolerance to SSRI's happened to me long ago. I switched to an SNRI and that bought me another 4 years. Then even they pooped out and I had to switch to Tri-cyclics. Now I have had to step it up to Tri-cyclics and a couple mood stabilizers just to get any theraputic effect.

It's called becoming medication resistant and it *****. At the same time it is very important for you to give any new medication at least 6 to 8 weeks before making a judgement call on it's effectivness. They take time to work and 3 weeks is not long enough to know.

Your going to have to consider moving to a tri-cyclic and perhaps augmenting that with a good mood stabilizer.

BTW, the Xanax is strictly to help with the anxiety. If it is making you sick then perhaps your taking too much at once. People new to Benzos like Xanax should never start above 1/4Mg per day.