I dont want to do this so why am i?

[ColeyColey]

On the outside, i am usually such a bubbly person and really happy. But sometimes, i get so down. i have bad thoughts, such as i contemplate suicide and have many times self harmed. I dont understand it , i get voices in my head and i hate them. I have cravings to cut the upper part of my left arm and i dont know why? I plunge my fingernails or sharp tools which i can find, into them and they leave very visibly scars. I really want to stop. I really want to stop feeling so unlike me. I've had this problem for maybe 3 years or so .. and now its getting ridiculous. Quite a few bad things have happened in my life, but this isnt the way i want to go about dealing with them. This is the first time ive ever sort for help. please help me. ????

[ColeyColey]

Thankyou M4. I really appreciate your help.

ColeyColey

[M4Y0U]

Hello there,

I'm in no position here to diagnose you or anything but i will give you my opinion.

If you are experiencing really bad up and downs you might be having something called a manic depression or bi-polar behavior. Hearing voices if often related to schizophrenia but you have different kind of bi-poar and schizophrenia ranging from simple personality disorders like schizotypal or schizonoid to much more complex disorders. I don't want to scare you but i just want to suggest you seek external help like psychotherapy and maybe join some support groups. I would really try to work with a therapist and try to get an accurate diagnosis if i were you. Before you hurt yourself please seek some help. We can support you, give you advices and everything but we have no real contact with you and we cannot diagnose you.

Best regards,
M4