I need advice with my depression (SAD)

[alvaa]

Monday night, my daughter brought her new 7 week old puppy from her mom's house to mine. I am not a dog person, but I don't hate dogs. I love all of God's creatures. This was a 7 week old shih tzu that her mom paid $600 for. It was sweet and playful. That night and the following morning we had to keep it in the bathroom. I was sad that it was so confined so the next night and day we confined it in the kitchen. I made sure there were no cords or anything bad it could get into. Thursday my daughter and I were out of work and school due to winter weather. Friday I woke up at around 2:00 am to go to the bathroom and I went to pet the puppy and it didn't move. I picked it up and it was completely limp. It was dead. There seemed to be a red stain around it's mouth. I was so terrified. I was calling people at 3am. I finally got her mom and told her. The sound of her voice suggested it was my fault.

I took the little puppy and put her in a bag and put her outside. My daughter woke up the next day to go to school and I told her that Diamond was dead. She was really sad but not taking it hardly as bad as I was and still am.

She went back to her mom that afternoon.

Sorry to ramble but I just wanted to give you all an idea of what was going on.

I have had SAD (Seasonal affective disorder) for a few years now. I hate this time of year. Between that and losing a young puppy, my depression has been like an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Can I get some advice on therapy or home remedies I can use to get me through this?

[alvaa]

I did bury her Sunday and said a prayer. It still hurts. I can close my eyes and see that limp poor puppy in my hand. The breeders wouldn't do anything about it. They told my ex-wife that it may have died of low blood sugar but I always kept food in its bowl.

[Bubulous]

I have been through a similar siuation.  I received a dog a few years ago that I named Roxy.  She was a mes inside and stunk up the room that I kept her in so I put her outside.  I was trusting my family to look after her while I was out but I stayed gone for a couple of days and when I got back the rope that she was attached to had wrapped around a pole and she had been exposed to the elements.  When I saw her he probably weighed a pound or two.  I tried to get her to eat or drink water after I brought her back into the house but he puked up everything I gave her.
I finally built her a tent on the porch to die in as I knew it was coming.  The next morning I checked on her and of course sh had passed.
I buried her and prayed for her.  That is all I could do and likely what you must do.  I found closure.  I know that you are likely a sensitive person because you said that you lovedall of God's creatures.  The pain you feel is necessary.  Had you not felt nothing that would have been a red flag anyway.
You know in your heart that you did nothing wrong and you tried to care for Diamond the best you could.  Feel the pain, cry if you must, and do not let other's opinions affect your well being.  If others blame you for what happened that is on them.  That is judgemnt that is inside of them.