i need to talk to someone please...

[Lonleyx]

Hi, im 20 years old, i dont have a job and i dropped out of highschool.
i met this girl last month at her sisters party, she is probably the most beautiful girl ive ever set eyes one, every time im with her im still shy and nervous and stumble my words, i love everythign about her, right down to her cute little lisp =)
shes got amazing eyes, and the softest skin, a kiss that could cause heart failure.  shes absoloutly perfect, and we have alot in common.
well about a week ago she told me she was crazy about me. and 2 days ago, she told me shes confused about who she likes and she doesnt know if she likes me anymore.3 years ago was my last relationship and i thought i was gonna be with her forever, but i started cutting and even attempted suicide.but this girl is nothing like the last one, she doesnt have a mean hair on her body,  i sit in my room and shake just thinking about her, picturing her smile and her cute little giggle and the kiss that drives me mad. i sit here and cry, and shake and feel like death is the best thing for me at this point, i dont wanna die but i feel like i have too to escape. i dont know what to do, and this razor and these scars keep calling my name but thats a life long scar, physically and mentally, i dont know what to do...

[mammo]

Whoa, slow down there.  You are looking at this as a reflection of you, and this is not the case.  What you thought was your dream girl turned out to be a night mare.  Her actions and words should make you feel better about all this, she's not worthy of you!  For her to tell you that she was using you as a crutch shows a very shallow, mean, unlikeable person.  Be gald you find out what she truly is so you can move on.  I think we have all been attracted to the wrong kind of person at some point, just take something positve away from the experience.  Sometimes people are not as they appear, and before you jump to thinking someone is perfect, get to know them first.  This girl is not capable of caring about anyone but herself, and I'm sure she will end up with HIV or other STD's.  Your life would have been a lot worse had you spent any more time with this girl!  There are other girls out there that you will find just as attractive, but they will be sweet, honest, not sleeping with every guy that comes along, and will respect you and your feelings.  You may not see it now, but the day will come when you will look back on this and think, "what was I thinking."

[Lonleyx]

well i partied with he rlast night, to find her in bed with my best friend this morning, later to tell me, she broke up with her boyfriend TWO days ago and was just using me as a crutch.

you see you guys this is what i mean. **** my life.

[Paxiled]

Well, some dropouts do very well.  You could turn out to be the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.  But it's highly unlikely, so getting it together and finishing school is important.  It's something you should at least think about.  As for the woman, you've got an extremely idealized view of women, which is unfair to you and them.  Women are just people, with all the blemishes and faults of men, including (maybe especially) extremely attractive ones.  There's no way they can ever live up to your expectations.  I think you need to talk to a good therapist and examine your beliefs and actions and see if you can't learn more about yourself and become more conscious and less anxious and judgmental of yourself.  Good luck to you.

[mammo]

I know it's hard, she's everything you want and I'm am in no way taking your pain lightly.  I do believe what will be will be, and you can't change that.  Nor can you make yourself sick over something you can't change.  But you can change yourself, your attitude, and how you view life and people.  This girl may appear to be all that and a bag of chips, but you don't know that there isn't another side to her.  Just don't allow this to define you as a person, and doubt yourself.  You're still young, so you may have to start out working somewhere and work your way up.  My niece dropped out of high school and worked for a temp agency for $7.00 an hour, and today at 37 makes $200,000 a year.  She worked her way up in the company.  You can do this.  It's just as much about ambition, drive and confidence, trust me on this.  It's a bad time to find a job with this lousy economy, but keep trying, never give up on this or yourself.  You sound like a good guy, you are bigger than this and I know you will succeed.  Take care.

[Lonleyx]

thank you mammo, i completly understand where your coming from saying i should just walk away, but its really hard you know? shes just so.. amazing i have tried just not talking to her already and i broke into tears cuz i just wanna hear her voice..

i have applied at a few jobs so far so im working on that, i want to be the man who can support a wife/girlfriend but its really a confidence downer when all you read is, whats your level of education on all the apps...

[mammo]

You are definitely not alone, we are always here for you and understand.  I know your heart is broken over this girl, but trust me there will be others.  Everything happens for a reason, and though we may not see it now, later you will look back and know why.  You're young and so is she, and she obviously is not sure of who or what she wants. When a woman tells you that she doesn't know "who" she likes or if she likes you anymore, make the decision for her and walk away!  This shows self-confidence and self respect. She may not like your response but she will respect you for refusing to play this childish game. I think right now you need to concentrate on you, and find a job and see a professional about the cutting.  Death is never an out, and may be a much worse situation.  A woman wants a man who is stable both emotionally and financially.  I think you owe it to yourself to get help, and try to find a job.  I know it's hard in this economy, and dropping out of high school is not an excuse.  There are many people who have succeeded in spite of this, and you can too.  Start thinking of you, and turn your life around, start thinking more positive about life. Seek help and go from there.  Good luck and take care.