In too much pain/tooconfused

[AnnaE]

I lost most of the vision in my right eye during the last year.I also had a very hurtful relationship with my eye doctor. I think that he is sick. Ifeel that my therapist does not believe me, even though I told her about it all along. She called him a "nice guy" for a long time.

My psychiatrist does not know much, because I have not told her much about him, but she says that I am having flashbacks about the medical tratments. He did everything from tickling me with a pin the third time I saw him, to saying with a smile, and in a gleeful voice, that he would be happy to take my eye out.He knows that I wnat to save my eye above everything. Yet I was very attached to him because I feared bl;indness so much. It is crazy. I have feelings, nightmares about him all the time.

My therapist has been with me for 20 years. She is a specialist in abuse. I was abused as a child by my own family.

[AnnaE]

Which website did you go to?

[AnnaE]

Which website did you go to?

[Jade59]

The basics were free, but to go more in depth, I think there was a small fee.  I don't remember it being very high though.  It seems like the doc I looked up had no complaints and I sure didn't pay anything, so maybe this is stated right off.  All I know for sure, is it can be done.

Good luck!!  

I'm glad to see you following up.  Even if it takes a little money to check, it will be worth your peace of mind ♥

[AnnaE]

Does this cost money?

[AnnaE]

Where do I file the report?

[AnnaE]

Thanks for your response. I switched in December. I could not let him perform the fifth surgery. I have nightmares that he dismembered me.

My new suegeon seemskind, and wants to educate the patient. He is in the same office. Very few specialists here.

[Jade59]

I had something similar happen to me.  Did you know you can check a doctor out on the Internet?  See if there are other complaints?  

I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope you reported him.  If you didn't, it's never too late.  

Take care...

[starr28]

Hi,

I am sorry for your pain - can you switch eye doctors?  I know that
may be easier said than done but I was just wondering.  You
shouldnt have to put up with what you have.

best wishes,
starr28

[el_dave]

I'm sure you know, they call it "black humor". They read Robin Cook and want to identify with the protagonists. However, in the case of making such a statement before surgery, it's completely unacceptable. I'm fairly certain I've ably demonstated here that I'm an idiot, but my wife is not. She spent ten years managing the customer service department of the area's largest hospital. She says that such medical professionals as you describe do exist. They can discern patients who won't file an official complaint about their actions (people who are "too nice"), which doesn't help anyone. She passes along that she hopes you've filed an official complaint regarding this, to help they who come after you.

Incidentally, ma'am, on a personal note: you said "but I'm older than the picture". You just illustrated one of the reasons I do know about regarding my depression: our society's influence on our perceptions. Do you know why women believe they grow less beautiful with age?  Madison Avenue. I've no idea if beauty has any value to you, but if it does, count it among your blessings when you're feeling blue. Remember, I'm old enough to be your dad (unless the picture is about 30 years old) so have no reason to lie.

In any case, please, if you haven't, consider filing an official complaint against that person who made such a comment before surgery. The Mrs. says that was entirely inappropriate and harmful, and she's a professional in such matters.

[AnnaE]

In the patient world. doctors are not know for being sweet people, I have a nice doctor now. In this firm, 2/5 doctors are nice. The iother one who acts nice is very controlling, also/ The first one I had was sadistic. He knew that I was terrified of losing my eye. Surgeons whose patients' eyes are in danger do not make jokes like that right befor surgery. He would say a lot of awful things with a smile of his face. When he made the remark about my eye, he had just expressed a lot of unjustiified anger at me. The man has big problems, People do not have nightmares and flashbacks about bad jokes.

[AnnaE]

The worst thing you can do to someone who was abused is to deny their abuse. Why are you doing this to me?

[ParamedFlorena]

This is a difficult question to answer, this because a person who has a license within medicine does usually meet a lot of people and is - in my eyes at least - one who care about the disease and the person. We should be careful about accusing someone for abuse if it hasn't happened, and should report abuse that does happen. It is in the bigger picture easy for one who is certain, to differ right from wrong here.

Having abuse in the past, it could be that it comes back in nightmares and flashbacks and cause a whole lot of discomfort.
A friend of mine tried a certain kind of hypnosis. The hypnosis was going to heal him entirely - BUT the course of the hypnosis was to create a lot of anger and the therapist did use a horrible technique. My firend ended up with false memories about how he grew up! It was horrible. (The technique is called Theopostic something).

If we set our minds to it, we can actually create a new scene in our minds and cause it to be "true" - and we get nightmares and feel generally ill about the memory since naturally includes people that we have met.

Maybe I should ask you though - how are you doing these days? Are you using medicines for your condition right now? Do you feel that you have surpressed or faulty memories?

I hope and pray that you find out of this. Again, it is a very dificult question to answer since reading another person's humor should be easy (as in you reading your eye doctor). My physiotherapist asks "which arm do I chop off today" or "mmm, yep it'd be the torture bench again" - or all those sorts of jokes, but he is aware of that the treatment does hurt and that people are ok with his jokes.

He told me though: "If you don't want me to joke, then you have to tell me."

Good luck,
Florena