Lonely stay@home mom

[1twinmom]

Hi all,

I'm a stay @ home mom of two sets of twins. They are 31/2 and 1 1/2. Ever since I stopped working to take care of the kids I feel like I've lost myself. We had spent many years trying to concieve via IVF and thought we would never have children. My husband felt very inadequate because our infertility problems were male factor so there came a time that another woman entered the picture giving my husband such an ego boost that he started to have feelings for this person. It was short lived due to me finding out but I never really have forgiven him for that. A couple of years later we decided to try IVF again and obvioulsy it worked. But now I'm extremely loney. I have turned to food and alcohol to try to get through my days. My husband and couldn't be further apart. We do have part-time help that comes 3 days a week so I can  get out to the store and what not but it doesn't help how I feel inside. I do take Celexa and that helps a little. I am so sad and screwed up I don't know what to do anymore.

[lildeb405]

Wow!  I read your blog and you reminded me so much of my best friend.  My friend has six kids ranging from 17-twin 2year olds.  She is a stay at home mom and has turned to a/d & Salcohol to pass her days....she has reached out to a dr and has gotten on cymbalta.....I wish that I could say that it has helped but I have not noticed a big difference in her since she has been on it.  She is overwelminly lonesome during the day and just longs for some adult conversation but she does not know how to reach out to anyone in her same position.  It is not worth it for her to work because of day care costs and does not go to church, so no connections there.  She rarely gets out and has to schedule her trips to the store when she has other older kids around.  

With all of this being said, my best advice is to utilize any source that you have.  You were probably seeing a specialist w/ your twins....could you post a note on your ob/ped. note board or even ask if they could give your name/# out to other twin paretns?  Do you have any other ways to reach out to others that may be in a similar situation?  Church, neighbors, friends of friends?  Maybe you should start putting feelers out there with anyone!!  I am sure there are other mothers around that would love to have an adult conversation in there hectic day.  

My only other piece of advice is to do something just for you when you have the help come over....go to the gym, movie, get a pedicure or just read a book in peace. My heart goes out to you.  

[mommy52713]

i am so sorry you are going through such a hard time i am a mother 2 five kids ranging in age from thirteen- five i also have suffered from depression 4 some time now and am considering going on an antidepresant. do you have a doctor? can you talk to someone about how you are feeling? maby you need to have your doc put you on a different med. when are you thinking of going back 2 work or are you? sorry so many questions just trying to help if you ever need to talk im here 4 you

[TexasJim]

hey there just like rock rose said try to find a group or other moms that have the same problems , I always felt like I was the only one who had problems untill I talked to people also,  I was losing jobs and my wife was in the hospital, I was getting depressed also and Im a guy who thinks men need to control everything, but I was wrong I am just like everyone else we all have problems , I used to break down an cry for no reason , it get to all of us , Im depressed now so Im going in my garden and eat some worms,   hope things get better for you  

[1twinmom]

A depressed person can be in a room FULL of people and still feel lonely.

[RockRose]

Goodness,  how can you be lonely with 4 preschoolers buzzing around?  I'm surprised you could even find time to sit and type this post!

You need to get together with other moms.  is there a twins club in your area?