Major Depression? How can I live without help?!

[sportalistic]

For the past 3 days now i have slept 14 hours each night, My thoughts: "whats the point" "Why should I bother?" "Why am I not dead yet?", I always wake up with chest pains. I don't like going out because I don't want to, I don't want anything to do with out-door activity's. Whenever someone offers me to go out to eat I always say yes because I know that I got to eat something but no matter what I do I always feel sick to my stomach. Many people tell me I need to "get out" or "get a job" but I don't because all I ever want is to be alone in my room with air to breath. whenever people ask me if im "ok" I tell them yes [ I Lied ] or whenever people tell me I don't look happy I say in my head "I'm breathing isn't that good enough for you?" I smile and say I'm just not in a good mood. whenever someone tries to help me emotionally - I get angry cause I don't want any help I just want to be alone.

apparently after taking many depression tests online the end result is always "Major Depression" then afterwords I read about cures and self-help..............They always mention about taking ant-depressants or to talk to people-but theres my problem! I don't want to talk to people or take pills! so I am wondering if there is anyway possible I could cure my so-called depression without help from others or if there is any way I could live my life without workforce getting on my back-If you are going to suggest unemployment- then don't bother because I quit my last job which was also my first job, I hated myself then and I hate myself now. If only there was some way I could live in a studio with no job-but thats a wish thats just never going to come true. Whatever you suggest I'll read and either consider it or not bother either way it will be read by me.

[rls27]

I think part of your problem is all this time you spend alone with unhealthy thoughts. You also seem to be harboring some anger which often goes hand in hand with depression. Are you able to narrow down the source of your depression or anger? Knowing why can help you come up with an effective way of addressing it.

[ReallyBummin9598]

Hey sportalistic!
First of all let me say "I am sorry to read about you going through this..." I loved to read your open and honest feelings about things! The world could really use more honesty. You said that you do not want to talk to "people"...I was that way too (and still am), due to my lack of "trust", in most people (especially doctors.) However...yes, there is a however, I recently (reluctantly), visited a psychologist, upon referral of my family doctor , after Dr. told me that depression, was out of his field of expertise.
I scheduled an appointment, and upon arrival, I expressed to her (my psychologist), my skepticism and lack of trust in confiding in her or anyone else... "period!" She understood, and we proceeded with the session. Sportalistic, I am sharing this with you because, I was actually able to open up to her, and to share my feelings!!! What a relief it was!!!
Much to my surprise, she actually listened, and I could feel that she truly did care!!! This session was unfortunately,  a prerequisite to a follow up appointment I had with one of her colleagues, a psychiatrist.
Unfortunately, it did not have the same positive outcome. I felt that I was being  interrogated, and feeling worse than before I went in!!!
So...I do know, and I do understand where you are coming from!
By the way, the psychiatrist gave me some pills, that are still sitting unopened on my bedroom dresser.
Like you sportalistic, I want to be in control of my own mind, but sometimes we do have to reach out to others, just as you have done by posting!
I wish that I knew the right words to say that would make you feel better, and make all of your hurts just go away...I really do.
In a nutshell spotalistic, "Trusting" people for me is the key. Search for someone you can confide in "100%", no less, but most of all take care of "You!"
I hope that this helps sportalistic...
Please keep in touch!

[grannienannie]

I know the feeling of wanting to be alone,not wanting to bother with life in general..the other day i was crying so bad and no one was there to listen or hug me to tell me it will be alright..but i was cleaning my house just crying and crying and i came across some speaker wires i brought and what made me pick them up i dont know i was crying my heart out...i looked on the very bottom of that package and it said in small words" Anger decieves us..try to distance yourself from anger...I believe the purpose of life is to be happy... and i stopped crying and i started to laugh...at that moment i understood that im not going to be angry at my life or how people treat me or how sick i am face big on the right side eye swollen shut been to the hospital and specialist over 35 times no one would help..and i said someone will help but in the mean time i will help other people...instead of getting angry i will be guided just as i was to those words i shared with you on the package...look around in the world people are in more pain than us...help someone else if no one can help you....it helps...