Mental illness and grace

[Jaquta]

Hi Guys.  I was just wondering if grace is something people feel or strive towards when recovering from mental illness.  Strange question but I seem to be so willful or forceful regarding my health and recovery and I was wondering if people experience mental illness as a positive thing (outside personal growth and development).  Do many people sit back and accept diagnosis and treatment and life graciously?  (We probably wouldn't be depressed if we did would we??)

If people are familiar with the Katy Did books this also kind of follows along those lines of Katy making us.

[Jaquta]

While I don't like to see other people suffer there is absolutely no way I am willing to take on more guilt and shame at this time.  Sorry!
The good thing about having a bucketful is that you can choose to tip it out if you want.
That sounds a little simplistic, doesn't it?

I think it has more to do with us letting ourselves down, than us letting others down.  Unless others heap or project guilt, etc onto us.

Many people don't understand mental illness and that is their way of 'helping'.  Although well meant, generally the advice isn't all that constructive.

I expect being strong enough to disclose what's going on with you, on some level, earned you some respect.

Sometimes it feels as though we are expected to justify all our emotions.  Or maybe we're just more sensitive or more aware.

Many people still won't understand even if it is explained to them.
I must admit I find depression, etc somewhat confusing and conflicting myself.

Like they say, 'It's the journey, not the destination."
I agree though.  Recovery can feel extremely slow.

That's part of the answer, isn't it?  Treating ourselves with compassion.

My theory is that I'll recover through psychological input.  I'm not a huge fan of meds.
I prefer running.  Walking is a bit too mundane sometimes.  I've pulled my calf muscle though so I'm taking things easy.  Knowing my luck I would probably tear it.  =)

Acceptance is another important key to recovery.  

I forgot what I was going to say.  Mum and Dad are tiling today (and needed to tell me how great it looks).

I guess being open and honest helps, as does sharing here.

Thank you for sharing part of your story here.  Good luck for your doctor's appointment and your recovery.

[sadsmitty]

Shame and Guilt - I've got a bucketful for you if you want it!  I started a new job 2 years ago.  Almost exactly one year after starting with the new company I went off work for 3 weeks,back for 4, then off for another 8 weeks.  I started on Effexor but after 8 months I just had to leave work again and it's been 3 months now.  I feel a lot of shame about letting my employer down.

I do feel ashamed that I am not 'strong enough' to get over it.  When people find out I'm off work for major depression they kindly suggest exercise or that I just need to 'get out more'... as if being busy is the answer.

This time I decided to just put it all out there.  I am willing to share my status with anyone who wants to know (and even a few who don't!).  I am working really hard on releasing the guilt I feel about letting people down at work, scaring my family and friends, and generally feeling guilty when I actually do something 'fun'... I kind of want a disclaimer that when people see me smile and laugh that a little cartoon air bubble shows things like "if I don't laugh I'll cry" or "it took me 3 hours to get out of the house today" etc.

I decided to make sure that if/when I act out or let people down that they know the actual reason why.  I am not LAZY, I'm sick.  Just like you wouldn't expect someone with a bad back to help you move, there are just some times and things that I can not always do.

The local mental health agency has started a campaign called 'You know who I am'... So many people are depressed that it's becoming one of the top  reasons for disability claims with employer health plans.

I would admit to also being frustrated with my illness.  If you had a broken leg you would see it on an xray, and then be able to see it when it is healed.  I've tried Effexor and Wellbutrin with no positive effects.  I will need to change again when I see my pdoc this week.  Rats.  I am pissed that the process is so slow.  In that way I am not particularly gracious... but I am giving myself a break and slowly recognizing this is an illness... it's not my fault, it's not yours either.

Don't sit back and accept your situation... research meds, share as you are here, get out for a walk (sorry - I'm sick of people telling me that too, but it does help!), confide in friends about your real situation and let them help you.  I have a lot of trouble accepting help.. I've always been independant, single, I can do anything woman... but now I do ask for help and accept it.

[Jaquta]

I guess most mental disorders by their very definition mean that they will affect us.
I think one could possibly be intelligent but still not be gracious.  I guess maybe on a deeper level I am actually asking about issues such as shame and self-acceptance.  ??  How one carries oneself through the process of recovering from mental illness.
Sorry the subject was a bit random, not sure what triggered that to come up.  Maybe I have felt embarrassed or humiliated by my behavior when unwell and I am now at a point where I can resolve the issue or just accept it and move on.

Maybe I am even referring to gracious as doing what we need to do to make our lives work but maybe in a spiritual way or maybe just with purpose and direction and no self-doubts.

Thanks for your thoughts on the subject.

[M4Y0U]

Mental illness and mental disorders are something personal as long as it's not interfering with your social life eg with people around you. The way you feel about your current state of mind is entirely personal, some can take it with grace, as with schizophrenia, some are very intelligent folks which could be interpreted as gracious. the problem is when the illness is interfering outside your personal life. If you are very sensitize to what the other people are thinking of you I think then I would rather say to myself that everyone got their own bugs and everyone is unique which makes human beings gracious.

M4