Hi..sorry no one has responded to this yet but I'd like to!
I have had some very dark depression but not that has lasted that long. My stepfather has though.. he has Parkinsons Disease and since that time he had to quit his job it's like he gave up on himself.
He would have my mom do everything for him, he wouls sleep or lay in bed ALL day, not bathe all that.
Now he is in a nursing home b/c he can't take care of himself but I really wish my mom would have made him do for himself. Like you said your father doesn't feel he has to do anything if you and your family does it for him.
So.. that is a place to start.. encourage him to get up and refuse to wait on him hand and foot.
Definitley, go to another doctor.. I think he woild benefit from other medications.
Just being around others and getting out will help tremendously!
i'm so sorry to hear about your father and your situation. our family had a similar problem growing up, though our father was much younger when he snapped and we were children. it's a very difficult circumstance to say the least and was life altering. that it became chronic was the worst. it was impossible for us to convince him to get help and i think the older people get, the more difficult it may become unless they hit an absolute bottom--depressive related psychosis for example. it sounds to me like his obsessive counting and false fixed belief about "overflowing" (which is a powerful metaphor that speaks of his suffering and suppression) should be able to get him into an intensive program immediately. i would go with option 1. following that, a regular psychotherapist. he can recover, it will take time and courage. there is no doubt however, that he can shift in a meaningful way with the proper support and the courage to face himself. i sincerely hope all of you find peace.
That's a tough nut to crack. The thing with severe depression is that in order to get better (or manage it, I should say) one really has to want to seek help and get better.
I'm sure your father knows in his heart that he has a mental illness, but some people have a very hard time accepting that fact and very often that mind set keeps them from activly seeking help.
In my case my Depression is so painful that I activly looked for help, simply because I felt so horrible.
I'm trying to think of the best way for you to get him help, but I'm comming up empty because the sufferer also must want help in order to get better.
I know you mentioned that he has been taking Fluxotine for a few years. That medication really is just the tip of the iceburg. There are much better medications for this condition than just Fluxotine.
Given that your Father has only really tried one AD medication, I am not supprised that he is doing so bad. In most Severly depressed people, Fluxotine (Prozac) is usually only good for about two to three years before the body builds up a resistance to it, at which point one would be better off taking a sugar pill for depression.
In 16 years I have built up resistance to over 9 different AD medications. You can't keep taking the same one forever. Some (very few) Depressed people can go up to 5 to 10 years on the same AD medication, but I don't know of any.
Your first step needs to be getting your Father in to get evaluated by a Psychiatrist. These doctors are highly trained and they will be able to get him on a new medication plan that could very well restore his entire life.
I know in the UK finding a good Psychiatrist Doctor is hard to do, but if you went the private route and paid out of pocket then I'm sure it's possible. Perhaps the entire family could pool their money to get him this private doctor. It could be the best money ever spent.
Good Luck.
Hi,
I agree that your father probably needs a new doc and a new med. I know
I usually get 3-4 years out of a med before it poops out and I have to switch
but I have a very understanding doctor who helps me through each time.
Best wishes to you and your family,
starr28
Dear all
Thanks so much for all your comments - I really appreciate the time you took to reply. My news update is that my dad is now in a special mental unit and is being cared for. They are going to change his meds and set him up with daily appointments of therapy and with his psych so that is great news. He seems more positive than I have known him for at least a year and is even cracking the odd joke (before his breakdown he was the life and soul and racked jokes to the point of embarrassment!) which is great.
He is having ups and downs of course. He is lonely and doesn't want to talk to people. He can't remember what the docs have told him about his care so he often says he doesns't know what is going on when in fact he has just forgotten.
I'm keeping everything crossed for him.
Thanks again
G