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Severe mood swings...going from feeling OK to extreme anger/disgust
I have been having extreme mood swings. I can go from feeling fine, not really happy, but just fine to extreme rage/anger and disgust with life in general. It gets to the point where I just want to go home and lock myself in, not speak to anyone and just watch TV all day. I can't concentrate on anything I'm doing at work. I guess what has pissed me off today is my husband - he is so selfish. We have been having financial difficulties and he lost his job a couple of weeks ago. Well, I got my employer to hire him part-time at night so we don't have to put our kids in daycare (he can watch them in the daytime and me at night). I thought that was a very generous thing for my employer to do. Well, now my husband is talking about joining some dumb-ass kung fu group 2 nights a week and missing those hours of work and spending $75 a month on it. Well, he already spends money on a gym membership and supplements for his various workouts, but now he wants to do this, too? I have to wear raggedy WINTER clothes in the heat because I am still fat from having a baby and we can't even buy me any decent clothes to wear to work and I can't fit my pre-baby clothes yet. I am just so sick of this. I am about to tell him to just stay home and do his various little projects, workouts, etc. and I will just be the breadwinner - just don't hinder me! I will have to get a weekend job but he ******* when I even mention it. I am so sick of life.
i think i have depression.. im not sure though.. i feel worthless and used and talentless and insecure all the time, im terrified of rejection. i have severe, fast mood swings between happy, sad and/or angry... im scared to tell anyone this really.. especially my mom... if she decides to send me to therepy, we would loose a lot of money and i dont want to do that to her.. but i lost a fiend yesterday because i got hurt and upset from her ditching me too oftenn.. i know its her familys fault but it hurts and ive been crying and sad since. i dont know if i am depressed or not, or what to do :( im only 16...
Woah! You have every right to be angry. But you also have to look at why things are why they are and how to make changes. This won't be easy. You two got into a habit and did it together. Suddenly, an major element changes. One person takes the weight and the other is in denial.
Everything is out of control around you and causing chaos. Time to isolate individual problems and address them separately.
What is the most important issue right now: Money, You, your Child, husband's lack of cooperation?
Have someone take your child for a few hours. Sit down and write out an income/expenses list. Do not get angry. Be logical. Get your totals. Take a deep breath when adding your husband's expenses. Or does he pay for these out of some other funds? How are credit cards being used? Each have your own?
Once you have the budget, step away for a day, then go back. You will be calmer.
Look where you can make changes and reduce some expenses - not your husband's stuff. This is important.
Once you have ideas to help the budget, tell your husband you two need to sit down together. This is an adult conversation. No child in the home. The ground rules are neither are allowed to get angry and are to listen and work together. Give him the original budget and explain you are worried about expenses due to changes and need his input.
let him look at it; see what he sees and says. Maybe, he may do right. Maybe not. This is where, when challenged, you calmly explain some of the cuts you have come up with. What can he help with. As with poker, never give your full hand.
Who controls the checkbook and bank account? If he refuses to give up his 'hobbies' ask what part of the budget should that money come from. The auto insurance, food, bill payments. Be calm and look worried and serious. He may become angry that he is facing his reality. Assure him you want to speak calmly and help each other. If he works with you, great. If not, seek help at Financial Credit Counseling - the FREE service to help people.
Is his gym membership under contract? What would be the cancellation fees. Can he purchase some equipment to work at home? Would that be cheaper? My reaction is swift and drastic but then I know I can get away with it - cancel the cable. Can't affort to pay the bill. Don't pay it. let them turn it off. Food, mortgage/rent, insurance are necessities and come FIRST!!!!! Cable is a luxury.
You have contributed to this situation over time. Not what you want to hear., Been there too. Learned and changed. It takes work and patience. Change won't happen overnight.
Credit cards are a danger in this situation. Keep one, put a limit on it that you can afford and cancel the rest. If you have to keep one, put a block on it for all internet or TV charges.
I do realize that what i suggest may cause more problems so you need to sift thru this and decide your own course of action. Take it a step at a time and realize he won't turn around quickly. Games are addicting. Maybe compromise to so many hours a week or month. Addiction to games have withdrawal behavior.
You need to do something for yourself. You neglect yourself. Is this on purpose? Putting everyone else first? Think about that. There is no reason, during the past years, you couldn't have bought something nice, inexpensive for yourself. Something simple, like a favorite soap, candle or book from the library goes a long way in making you feel better. Thrift stores and yard sales are great!!! There is nothing wrong with them. Look for sports equipment listed and have your husband check some pawn shops for equipment.
There are many alternatives to spending more money.
Can you convince him to take walks with you and your child in the evening? Explain it is positive family time and you miss his company.
Best of luck. Be patient and creative.
Everything is out of control around you and causing chaos. Time to isolate individual problems and address them separately.
What is the most important issue right now: Money, You, your Child, husband's lack of cooperation?
Have someone take your child for a few hours. Sit down and write out an income/expenses list. Do not get angry. Be logical. Get your totals. Take a deep breath when adding your husband's expenses. Or does he pay for these out of some other funds? How are credit cards being used? Each have your own?
Once you have the budget, step away for a day, then go back. You will be calmer.
Look where you can make changes and reduce some expenses - not your husband's stuff. This is important.
Once you have ideas to help the budget, tell your husband you two need to sit down together. This is an adult conversation. No child in the home. The ground rules are neither are allowed to get angry and are to listen and work together. Give him the original budget and explain you are worried about expenses due to changes and need his input.
let him look at it; see what he sees and says. Maybe, he may do right. Maybe not. This is where, when challenged, you calmly explain some of the cuts you have come up with. What can he help with. As with poker, never give your full hand.
Who controls the checkbook and bank account? If he refuses to give up his 'hobbies' ask what part of the budget should that money come from. The auto insurance, food, bill payments. Be calm and look worried and serious. He may become angry that he is facing his reality. Assure him you want to speak calmly and help each other. If he works with you, great. If not, seek help at Financial Credit Counseling - the FREE service to help people.
Is his gym membership under contract? What would be the cancellation fees. Can he purchase some equipment to work at home? Would that be cheaper? My reaction is swift and drastic but then I know I can get away with it - cancel the cable. Can't affort to pay the bill. Don't pay it. let them turn it off. Food, mortgage/rent, insurance are necessities and come FIRST!!!!! Cable is a luxury.
You have contributed to this situation over time. Not what you want to hear., Been there too. Learned and changed. It takes work and patience. Change won't happen overnight.
Credit cards are a danger in this situation. Keep one, put a limit on it that you can afford and cancel the rest. If you have to keep one, put a block on it for all internet or TV charges.
I do realize that what i suggest may cause more problems so you need to sift thru this and decide your own course of action. Take it a step at a time and realize he won't turn around quickly. Games are addicting. Maybe compromise to so many hours a week or month. Addiction to games have withdrawal behavior.
You need to do something for yourself. You neglect yourself. Is this on purpose? Putting everyone else first? Think about that. There is no reason, during the past years, you couldn't have bought something nice, inexpensive for yourself. Something simple, like a favorite soap, candle or book from the library goes a long way in making you feel better. Thrift stores and yard sales are great!!! There is nothing wrong with them. Look for sports equipment listed and have your husband check some pawn shops for equipment.
There are many alternatives to spending more money.
Can you convince him to take walks with you and your child in the evening? Explain it is positive family time and you miss his company.
Best of luck. Be patient and creative.
i have dated a girl for 6 years she goes from 0 to 60 in seconds one min she loves me the next min the smallest thing get out of the house i dont like you you r the worst person on earth . most recent we just went and bought wedding rings and aweek later she brings up something that happened when we were broke up 2 1/2 years ago and now im out of the house for one week now she wont talk.i love her but it is so hard to take all of this i think she needs help but if i bring it up she goes ballistic i need help bad what do i do?
Also if you are in a fit of rage and need to vent, here are some coping strategies that I have found useful
* throw a balled up pair of socks against the wall
* dig your fingernails into your skin without breaking the skin
* use a straight pin and poke a balled up pair of socks
* write a letter to the person you are angry at and than rip it up
* scream in the shower
and last but not least ( my favorite)
* throw ice cubes into an empty bathtub ( very powerful)
* throw a balled up pair of socks against the wall
* dig your fingernails into your skin without breaking the skin
* use a straight pin and poke a balled up pair of socks
* write a letter to the person you are angry at and than rip it up
* scream in the shower
and last but not least ( my favorite)
* throw ice cubes into an empty bathtub ( very powerful)
Extreme mood swings from being ok to rage to whatever can be a symptom of a mental disorder such as bipolar or borderline personality disorder. I would think about talking with a professional doctor that can acess your symptoms. It could be just having a bad day but if it lasts over a period of time - it could be a red flag for something else.
I hope this helps.
I hope this helps.
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