I would seek out a really good psychiatrist. Someone that gets it. It sounds like you've been misdiagnosed since you were a teenager. Not to say you aren't any or all of the things they are saying, but those are all different diagnoses. If you can find someone you relate to, it would help.
Hey i would say try to exercise 3 times a week. This can help depression and also try see your family and friends as much as you can and talk to them about the way you feel. Sometime it help talking to peolpe that are close to you then stranges.
One bit of advice i would say is dont take to much different medications try to stick to one.
Your not alone in this battle, I suffer from depression too and i know how hard it is. Stay strong and good luck
Ohhhhh I LIKE THAT RUBBER BAND IDEA!!!!
It sounds like the Lexapro is giving some relief to you. They always start you out on a low dosage, and after 2 months if you still don't feel it's doing the job, then you need to let the doctor know this. This is how it is done, they normally want to see you back in 6-8 weeks to see if the dosage is enough. Usually it isn't, they know this and will increase the dosage. It would be nice to just have to take one medication after all you've been thru. I was on Lexapro for a long time with very good results. Cloudwindgate offers good advice. Writing down your questions is good because most of us forget them. Never hesitate to stop the doctor from leaving by saying "I have another question" or could you explain that a little bit more? Your thoughts have a lot to do with your thinking, so you need a way to stop this. Put a rubber band on your wrist and when you start a negative thought...snap it, hard. It stings and stops this thought process, and at first you're snapping it all the time, then realtively soon, you realize that you're rarely snapping it. Try to concentrate on all the good in your life, look for the good. Physical activity works great, try to think good thoughts. Keep telling yourself that you are worthy of a happy life, and know you are not alone with this. It sounds to me like your most recent doctor is doing you some good, so I would trust him, and go back about your medication. Hope this helps. Take care
As far as meds and doctors i have no advice. I suffer but havent seen a doctor to be diagonssed. What i can tell you about seeing a doctor is before you go in get everything you need to say on a sheet of paper and then go in. Try to make the things straight for ward and reword each question so it sounds completly diffrent but will get you esstionaly the same answer. (this is more for doctors i dont know if it works on others)
and of course if your happy with the answer to the question then theirs no reason to ask the reworded one of course. Bring an entire notebook it just looks better then you pulling a sheet of paper out of your pocket when they ask anything else.
As far as relaxing have you tried to meditate before it can relax you. Or things are just doing things you find joy in. Things that require effort on you part as hard as i know it is. You must push forward. Addopting a good motto and sticking to it also can help like mine is never give up , never give in. Work out. IT get addrinle working and can boost your endorfines (im srry im such a bad speller i hope it all come out right)
Last scream go ahead let it out. If your like me Thats were my problem stems i just hold it all in till boom.
I hope you find some of this useful. And best of luck to you
heres some links for you to cheack out
meditation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0rSmxsVHPE
http://1stholistic.com/Meditation/hol_meditation.htm
http://www.learningmeditation.com/relax.htm