suicide

[RayJackson]

I feel like the only thing left to do is die. I can't go through this life anymore. I'm all by myself carrying the weight of the world or at least it feels like it. I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend all because I asked him not to go out with any girls tonight. he goes and says "well u live with random people so what difference does it make " all because my parents take in foster kids. I can't control that at all! and I've begged my parents a million times not to do it anymore because it makes me uncomfortable. when my bf was dropping me off at home a foster kid we used to have that comes over occasionally was on the front porch and he instantly was mad because that person has made passes at me before. I've asked my parents to not have him over but I''ve never told my mom exactly why. when I got inside I asked her why he was he're and etc and finally told her and she told me I was lying. this is exactly why I never said anything in the first place because no one will believe me! then my mom goes and tells me I'm crazy and all this other **** about how awful I am and etc. of course I was just as mean back. but I told her I'm so depressed and want to kill myself and she does not care. it makes me feel like I should just do it since no one cares anyway. I have no friends so it's not even like someone would miss me. this is just so hard and I'm giving up I feel like the best thing to dois just end my life. iI ffeel even dumber writing this here but I have no one to confide in. I'm just so lost right now I just don't know how to ever get my strength back..

[skystream03]

Depression is loss of control. It looks to me that you are controlled both by your parental environment and your BF. Have you ever spend time on you? To be selfish once in a while is a good thing ... and a healthy one.

[4Maddie44]

Hi there I just wanted to say what a lovely answer you gave to RayJackson.  You have a very wise head on young shoulders.  

Bless you for being so kind

[zoefletcher]

I too have been battling this illness for a long time now, though I, like you, am young. It's difficult when we statistically should live for another whole 60 years or so, but we're not even sure we want to make it to tomorrow.

Please understand that the hormones are making you more emotional. I would suggest talking to your doctor about how you are feeling (I know it's hard, but it has to be done - both for you and your baby). They may be able to suggest techniques that may help you, or possibly medications that won't affect your pregnancy? I don't know. In any case, I strongly suggest you talk to them, and see what they have to say. It's very important that they are aware that you are having suicidal thoughts, and please know that they are there to help you, and will endeavour to do so in whatever way they can.

In regards to your boyfriend, if he is your rock and you don't want to lose him, then I fully understand and I'm happy that you've found someone who can be that for you. But it is essential that you tell him how you are feeling. He obviously cares a great deal for you. Tell him how much stress you are under right now, and that what with the hormones and everything you really need him to be there for you and support you.

I would also try to approach your mother and express your feelings to her as well. She's your mother and I'm sure she loves you very very much. She probably just doesn't know how to help you. Perhaps you can explain to her specifically what you want from her, such as "Mom, I really wish we could go out sometime and have fun just the two of us, so we can have some bonding time" or "Mom, I feel really uncomfortable around [the old foster kid], so I would really appreciate it if he didn't come round here. If you must see each other, could you please arrange to see him when I'm out of the house, or meet somewhere else?"

Most of all, just try to take care of yourself and your baby. That baby loves you unconditionally, and you will love him/her unconditionally too. Live for them. Live for all the memories you'll be able to make: his/her first steps, first words, first day of school, etc. Live for the moment that you'll be able to smile down at their adoring little face for the first time. And then when they're born, live for them. Pour your energy into looking after your child. If you concentrate on nothing else except looking after yourself and baby, that's fine. Let that baby give you something to live for.

And to everybody here who is belittling her problems and telling her to "just chill out", how dare you?!? How dare you respond to someone who is clearly in such deep distress with such nonchalance? If you've nothing supportive or helpful to say, please just shut your cyber-mouth and don't say anything at all. RayJackson there are plenty of us here on this site who care deeply for your wellbeing, and I hope you can find a little strength in that.

I wish you all the best with health, happiness and motherhood. Perhaps you can keep in touch? Much love xx

[4Maddie44]

Bless you young lady.  I know how you feel.  I have battled depression for many years, and have taken an overdose at one stage.  Life can be very hard, especially when you have depression.  It is a difficult illness to deal with.

I am so glad you have a supportive boyfriend, that will help you so much.

it saddens me to read you want to take your own life, as you are young.  Yes life throws so much at us and it is difficult to feel we will ever feel any differently.

Most people on this site understand exactly how you feel, as we have been there ourselves.  I have felt I have lost the person I once was.  You have come to the right place for support, you really have.  Most people here are very kind and understanding.  I would never want to hurt anyones feelings. I am sorry you have been upset by some people.  I am not like that, and neither are a lot of other people.

Bless you, and I would like it if you kept in touch, so we know how you are getting on.  I want you to live and hopefully struggle out of this depression, and live a fullo life.

I am old now, but I have fought, and fought this illness.

Take care and keep in touch.

Love to you

[leeciah]

just calm down and pray

[nicolechavez]

Its hormones..everybody has days like this..ive been feeling like this for a couple of days...but if your boyfriend is going out with other girls then hes not being supportive at all...tomm is a whole nother day..best of wishes to u

[Creole_Hunni_bunn]

No one can make you happy but you. Do you really want to die miserables and alone?

[lovebabysham]

Your life isnt all bad. Relax you just need a mini vacation

[RayJackson]

I'll be 18 in a few weeks I'm 8w 3d

[Sunflowerpower1621]

I Want you to know that everyone has good and bad days. Things will get better. You can't live your life to other people's standards. You're stronger than you think. Please, suicide is NEVER the answer. Run away before you try anything extreme. Just out of curiosity, how old are you? And if you have no friends, I'll be your friend...you can message me on here whenever you need to vent. Sending positive vibes...

[RayJackson]

I don't want to get rid of my bf he has been my rock for 3 Years when everyone else has abandoned me. he is very loving and supportive I didn't mean to make him sound bad because he isn't at all.i'm just so stressed and depressed I needed to vent. I have a job and I'm about to become the manager soon, every thing just feels like it's so overwhelming especially when I'm feeling so alone and misunderstood.

[rachaelbutsch]

Your here cause you have a life inside you that baby loves u no matter what and will love u till the day you die killing yourself is not the way to go your mom may be mad now but she would be sad and prob your bf too... how old are you? How far along are you? If your old enough and not to far get a job and move out ask your bf if he is ready to commit if not find someone or something that makes u happy but all your energy into your baby gather strength from him/her they are all you need and if your religious call upon god for help he never gives more than u can handle I'm your friend send me a message of you need to

[miracle_mommy2014]

i dont know exactly how you feel but coming from my own set of problems and not wanting to be alive at a point in my life i can honestly can tell you it does get better. i know might not seem like it right now and it does take time. but it will get better even when you think it wont. you can message me anytime if you want to talk. i hopw things work out for you just stay strong and keep your head up.

[tuliee]

And if youre pregnant you shouldnt be thinking about suicide , think about your baby soon everything will be ok

[nicolechavez]

Killing yourself is not the question...its the easy way out...life was never meant to be easy.....first things first yoy need to get rid of your boyfriend hes a dousche....hold out till u have your baby then get a job...theres got to be some sort of goverment assistNce there...for pregnant women look up things like that...try to change it and stop setteling for less...your life can be so much diffrent but YOU AND ONLY YOU has to decide your worth it...

[tuliee]

you arent alone , things are just hitting you really hard rn , and your boyfriend needs to be more understanding of your state of mind and take into consiferation that your fragile and be there for you. And you cant control your parents so just let them be and try to avoid the problem as much as possible