Depression...or something else?

[bigalxyz]

For a long time I've suffered from what I thought was quite severe clinical depression.  I've started to question this though.

Sure, I get depressed, but I have some other very physical symptoms that I struggle to understand.  I'm not depressed "about" anything in terms of ruminating on negative thoughts & feelings, etc. - I just feel thoroughly fed up and miserable when I feel so (physically) ill - and a little anxious about paying the bills when work is so difficult for me.  I'd argue though that these feelings are entirely natural under the circumstances and not the root cause here.

This all feels physical to me, not mental (conveniently sidestepping those awkward metaphysical questions about the distinction between the two).

The most noticeable symptom I have is that every day when I wake up, I feel dizzy, light headed, confused.  It's quite severe.  I struggle to focus my eyes a little bit - not quite double vision but close to it.  I stumble & shuffle around like a zombie, difficult to speak, difficult even to think.  Often, on days when I don't have to do anything, I stay in bed all day.  Sometimes I am alert enough to watch films on my laptop, other days all I can do is listen to the radio or sleep.

However on days when I have to work, go out, etc. I do drag myself out of bed, shower, get dressed, etc. and within an hour or two I feel mostly human again - although I'm often very tired at the end of the day.

(Other more typical symptoms though - lack of energy, lack of motivation, poor mental focus, etc.)

Doctors are very quick to say "you're depressed, have some tablets" or "you're depressed, have a 6 week group CBT course" but I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, etc.  None of it helped.  None of the meds (and I've taken lots) made me feel better.  Most of them made me feel worse.

Could there be something else going on?

I've noticed that when I get up and get moving, I gradually feel better.  Is this psychological (having a sense of purpose, etc.)?  Or could there be something physical going on?  For example - and this is complete speculation - could the bloodflow to my brain be constricted somehow when I'm lying down, or a trapped nerve somewhere be affecting stuff going on above the neck?

Grateful for any thoughts.

ps 44yo male, T2 diabetic (but in fact blood sugar well within normal ranges now following weight loss), non-smoker, no illegal drugs, drink alcohol maybe 2 or 3 times a month.

[Mmorgan856]

I'm going out on a limb here, but I've been in forums lately, an some of your symptoms jumped out at me.. Confusion. ( brain fog ) fatigue.  Have u ever been tested for hepatitis c virus? This virus is different from B, which is usually sexually transmitted.  They say the most common way to acquire hep c is blood transfusions or significant blood mix.  Think car accident, bar room brawl, ect.  They have been able to detect it just since 1992, so approx  300,000 people have it an are not aware in the u.s..  Just a thought, ur symptoms  are indeed a mystery.  Just thought I'd mention .  Symptoms can be vague an a lot of people go undiagnosed years.  A simple blood test can rule it out, just saying might be something to follow up on. Take care

[lj340]

I absolutely think something else could be going on.  I am diagnosed with what they call “treatment resistant depression”. However, I do not believe it is all depression. I am convinced something physical is going on making my depression worse or preventing it from being treated adequately.  I have various other symptoms and the brain fog and fatigue is the worst. My advice to you is for you to become your own personal advocate. Please keep researching your symptoms and try to look into all possibilities. Unfortunately, the way healthcare is set up it is NOT person centered. In my experience if all of your lab work is within “normal range” then you are fine and diagnosed with a mental illness.  You may actually have a mental illness like clinical depression and ALSO have a very real physical illness that is being missed. Please listen to your gut. You know your body better than anyone else. Don’t give up.
Good luck!