The Venting Thread - What's on Your Mind?

[LeftCoastChick]

This is a thread for you to just plain vent your frustrations about your illness. How it's effected you, if you're tired of treatment/medication, or if you feel people around you just don't understand. The only 'requirements' are that we keep the language clean, and we don't bash our fellow members as those will result in having the offending post deleted.

My goal with this thread is to lift each other up and offer positive support. If it becomes popular, we can do one a week.

Who wants to be first?

[Twelvesgirl]

my vent...i'm mad that i'm so aggitated lately. maybe a s/e of meds? i don't know, i wish i could help it but i can't. i want to break things. i'm supposed to wait until thursday to go see the pdoc to talk about meds, 2 more days, then i have someone to talk to again. i have no support, everyone i know likes to ask me whats wrong. i don't know whats wrong, i don't feel good. i'm sad, i'm mad. rapid cycling i think might be what its called? idont know, its new for me, should i call the doc. i think i might. anyway, i'm sick of the ones i trust the most not supporting me. maybe they wouldn't have to constantly ask whats wrong and if i'm ok, if they would just stop denying i'm BP and depressed.
and LeftCoastChick, I think putting this in the Bipolar forum is a great idea. thanks for listening.

[marialou]

im so desperate,my daughter has a rare genetic syndrome and my eldest daughter died 12 years ago through complications of the same syndrome,its so rare no doctors can give me answers.iv searched day and night and i cant go through seein my gorgeous girl suffer..im so lost and ive no fight anymore.she has muscle and nerve diseases,she has so many problems,all rare and it kills me i cant help her or anyone can,its breaking my heart and my mind and my soul.

[flinty666]

My vent...or story of my life so far

I am 24 and have been depressed for quite a few years now, i self harm (most people dont understand this but my veiw on it is i dont like hurting anyone else so i take it out on myself and once that is done i feel a little better for it) I have been given the option of therapy and been perscribed anti d's but i chose not to take them as i know a mate who got really hooked on them.

My opinion on therapy is that no matter how much you talk about your problems in life it wont change anything as the moment you leave that door your back into reality and im not able to deal with it.

I have lots of trouble making decisions for myself, I dont know what would make me "happy" anymore...it all boils down to complicated realtionships, feelings of worthlessness, and a low self esteem and money!!! im constantly tired my sex drive with my current partner is non existant and i just dont know what to do...does anyone know if CBT is any different from therapy???

thanks flinty x

[Jade59]

Also, what I find the most exhausting is having to get ready, leave the house and then act in public like I'm not going to collapse from standing on my feet or have an anxiety attack at any moment.  

Okay, all done.

[Jade59]

All I would really like to do is stay in bed and never get up.  Just sleep and sleep.  I have been an insomniac since teen yrs and never get more than 4-5 hrs of broken sleep a night, even with the help of 1mg Xanax.  I'm in constant pain, constant horrendous anxiety and never feel truly happy.  I stopped taking AD's 5yrs ago and miraculously feel much better without them, but still that constant feeling of not minding if I died tomorrow.  The AD's kept me feeling numb so without them I feel emotional all the time and cry alot.  I am not suicidal, just can't wait for all this to be over with.  I just want to "go home."

Breast cancer runs strongly on my mothers side, but I will not get a mammagram.  If something were wrong I would not want to save myself because what for?  To continue to drag myself out of bed each day, force myself to eat well and excercise, force myself to keep the house and finances straight and force myself to be relatively "up" so my husband doesn't have to live with a zombie.  

I have felt this way my whole life.  It never ever stops and I am just so weary of it all....

[obxtheres]

Hello, hope all is well with you and everybody else! Here is my vent to let out of my system! For years I have been dealing with depression many up's and down's more down's than I would like to admit to which is sad. Was put on 2 medications to help me with this problem and for a while it worked and now i'm back to square one with all of it.Weaning me off one medication and putting me on another one as been hell don't wish it on anybody at all. So my problem is I never had a weight problem and now I do so you go to the doctor and try to get one problem fixed and end up with more than you came there with. Granted side effects are different for everybody but man do they want to keep you depressed or make you better? It just bothers me cause now I will shut my self off to my husband cause of my weight and granted he doesn't understand my depression and he says he doesn't care about my weight he still loves me than why is our relationship so different now than it was before. Not even married 3 years ye how sad and I agree so many sad people in this world is it all worth it anymore....just feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle! Life just isn't fair! Theresa