Is cheating tied with depression

[confussed]

I have been diagnosed years ago when I was about 12 or 13 and I am now 21 and I feel like there is no hope. I am not on meds.  I will almost fall in the arms of any man that will show me any attention.  I am engaged but he makes me feel like something is always wrong with everything I do.  I have cheated on him many times and am scared I can't quit. We are treying to work through things the last time I cheated was less than a month ago and he says we can work on it.  But I am scared I can't quit.  Is cheating a diorder?  Because this last guy I cheated with is working on stuff with his wife but I am affraid that if he comes back I will do it again.  Is there medication for my problem?

[jameshu1987]

i have/had a girlfriend who suffers from severe depression and i have treated her like gold and i haven't done anything wrong to her and she cheated on me this monday and i dont think its right that people try to excuse that kind of behavior have you ever stopped to think the guy may be going through allot in his life too and he didnt need this crap happening to him because he is on the edge of a mental break down when we are cheated on it cuts most of us so deep we would rather have a knife shoved in our chest because it would hurt less i mean i'm so heartbroken that i'm gonna have to go see a therapist and i really don't like them i mean men have feelings too we may not show them as much girls but we let them build up until we snap and in allot of cases the guy winds up in a crisis center so no its not always the guys a jerk so before you put all us guys in one group maybe you should think about the ones who ain't jerks and fyi i didn't want sex i wanted her and her love i wanted that connection me and her had and i'm not having sex till i'm married

[rachelneil]

Cheating is something bipolar people tend to do, it's not right but you need medication.
you need to talk to your doctor and tell him everything.
I'm bipolar and I cheated on my loving husband after drinking, (which we depressed people should not do at all!).
My husband and I are now working with a counsellor and I'm learning a lot about the bipolar disorder.
I know what I did is wrong, but it's not as easy as quitting.
It's a disease that needs to be treated with medication and counselling.
Please seek help like I have.
http://rachelneildiary.blogspot.com

[lowtech]

I have had problems with depression and with an abusive partner.

The fiance: Please note that abuse in not only physical, and regardless of what you're doing you do not deserve "he makes me feel like something is always wrong with everything I do." Likely you already know this since you included it in your post. Either go into couples and individual counseling or dump the jerk.
Personally I have cheated on a partner that I knew wasn't good for me in attempt to get out of the relationship. It was stupid and not a good way to go about ending the relationship.

The need: yeah, you have low self-esteem and possibly a love/sex addiction. Go to a Love & Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting, then keep going even if you stay engaged or not, and check out if they have materials.

You: get a therapist. screw what the fiance thinks, you really really need it. do NOT get married before you get your **** together, and never resign because it all gets better.

Plus what's with all the crazy posts in response to this? You guys are . . . I'm not going to mention it.

[Kineks]

No it is not. It's simply a matter of a guilty concious and you beating yourself up for being so F*CKING STUPID!

[idesofmarch]

Yes, depression can make a person do some strange things.  Since you know that you have a problem why are you wasting time in a forum? So your boyfriend knows that you cheat and he sticks around to help you through it, what is his problem? Why is he so desperate that he excepts your cheating ways. I think that you are possibly staying with him and using your depression to have your cake and eat it too. Get yourself into counceling and on meds and stay away from all forms of sex.  You have low self esteem and you need to love yourself before you try to love others.  You are not only effecting your boyfriend and yourself but married people trying to "work" on their marriage. Who knows who else or what else is out there waiting for you to come along. Get help before you end up dead.

[akajulia]

People with depression may also suffer from hypomania which can lead to self destructive actions such as drinking too much and making more choices.  I suggest you speak with your doctor about possible hypomanic episodes.  I have bipolar 2 disorder and also experience hypomanic episodes which lead to poor choices, possible irritability and racing thoughts.  I hope you find a good balance in your life.

[fishypharmacy]

Hi: I have been snooping around the forums for a while now so I decide to give my oppinion on this matter. First of all you must consider yourself lucky for having a boyfriend who put up with all the cheatings that you have done. As a 29 year old 2nd year psychiatry resident I have seen simmilar cases like yours. I apply simple solutions to simple problems. You do not need medication whatsoever but I think a nice course of 2mg risperidone b.i.d would make your brain so fried that you would not be thinking about cheating. I know you are in need of attention and your boyfriend might not please your " needs" but the solution for your problem is very simple. Whenever you feel like cheating, get a DILDO and USE IT .It might sound offensive ( I do not care if it is ) but your cravings for sexual pleasure might be comforted by the use of an artificial device. Think about it, by using a dildo you would not be exposing yourself to STD's or to be the victim of rape, assault, etc, as for your depression I would recommend you talk to a therapist.

[fishypharmacy]

For anyone who thinks I have grammar or spelling errors ( which I do )I am not from the US originally ( got a MD license here though ) but I am doing my psychiatry residency in MA and of course my first language is not english..

[mami2karina]

I understand what you are going through.  And I'm sorry but if you haven't been through it you have no idea what it's like.  It's not like we have a switch we can turn on and off.  It's hard and it takes time.  This is something that is very hard to deal with.  I am trying to find a way out of this dark hole myself.  I do believe that cheating is tied with my depression.  When I get depressed that is when I most look for sex or a man to be with.  I too fall into the arms of any man who will except me.  Good luck.  I would suggest joining a Sex Aholics Anonymous if you have on in your area.

[Kineks]

Nicely put tommy420! I agree, with that, Just stop acting like a child wanting all the attention in the world, I have a sister that was the same way as you ( slightly different)and now that she is going through a divorce, she is living with my parents, and again acting like a child craving attention. Its to the poing that she is hitting on my fiance, her brother, grandpa and father! But we call her on the carpet about it and MAKE her toe the line. Thats what you need, is a BABYSITTER that DISCIPLINES! The only thing you really need to do is stop saying that you have a mental issue, EVERYONE has mentle issues, Stop being so dumb,and GROW UP!!!

[Tommy420]

Why don't you just STOP cheating? Your boyfriend deserves 100x better than you. If you're going to cheat on your boyfriend, then break up with him. Stop blaming your actions on depression...your cheating is in your own hands! If you want to stop acting like a slut, then stop cheating.

[confussed]

I think I have known this all along but I am just in a comfortable relationship where I always know what to expect and it's just not fulfilling emotionally.  Thanks for your input.

[shygirl1981]

if you really loved him, and everything was good, you would not even consider cheating.

[sparkeler]

Cheating can be a disorder.  I told you, you need counseling.  I know you said your boyfriend thinks it's for the mentally insane, but if that were true, the whole world is nuts.  Go alone.  Do it for you.  Get your feelings in order.