Aa
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
hello everyone!
I'm a female 26 .I grew up in south america with my father ,before i was born my mother had my brother from another man .
my brother is 5 years older than me .
my mother left me with my father after she received many times physical abuse from him and took off with my brother to the united states.
when i was 7 years old i started receiving physical abuse from my father for not doing homework ,eating all my food, or not getting along with other children.
my father was never home he was usually always at work and when ever i would see him he would beat me and mentally abuse me. as the years went by the physical abuse escalated to a great gravity. my mother used to visit me every other year for 2 to 3 weeks in south america .
i used to beg her to take me with her but she always replied she couldn't . she started visiting me when i was 5 she got married to a man that was more than wealthy in the united states when i was about 6 years old . they have been married now for 21 years. when i was 14 my father lost everything and the abuse got dangerous to the point i thought he was going to kill me.i thought that life with my mother would be full of love and that she would make up for all the time i had spent abused and lonely 14 years.
i thought that with her i would have a family and that if i moved in with her that i would be her all and that she would take away the pain in the memory of the life i had lived in. she figured out a way to bring me on a vacation visit through lawyers and i decided to stay . she told me that i couldn't stay with her and that the government would come after us and arrest her and take me back ,i told her that if she tried putting me on that plane that i was going to go crazy and tell the workers in the plane that I'm having a heart attack and that they would not be able to take of with the flight .
i would cry and scream and beg every year every week every month for help.i went through great loneliness and sorrow . my mother had all the money in the world and her houses have always been beautiful until this day!
when i moved in with her she was never home and always gone ,how ever when i came on vacation she would take me to disneyland etc how ever i only came to visit for a month.
now I'm 26 years old she still neglects me . the only great thing she did is motivate me to take singing lessons and pay for them she told me i should become a singer.
(my father also was a singer) . when i was 18 her and my stepfather got sick of me not working and making it as a singer so they threw me out of the house.i've been bouncing back and forward since then . I barely ever see my mother and when she is around she doesn't acknowledge my feeling or needs .I'm older now but I'm much to confused sad and angry to get on with my life. she always tells me that i look just like my grandmother and my father with a negative vibe and when i was younger 15 ,16 i remember her telling me my father was ugly and that he looked like my grandmother. so = now I'm ugly .i tried doing modeling but that got me in some trouble since im not to tall and the photographers where quite rude and some abusive .i made some money but my mother didn't support me at all with the idea of modeling. i just wanted to be happy i just wanted her approval i just wanted to be beautiful and loved.
where did i go wrong.
my mother threw me out of the house again when i was 20 for no reason she was just sick of me i tried getting in the house in a peaceful manner just to get my things but my brother knock me out and i blacked out i don't know for how long .
i now suffer from depression and anxiety .I'm unable to hold a job since i have a hard time getting along with other people .i feel different and strange among other people and is hard for me to get higher by just anyone .I'm very sensitive and any little bad vibe can cause me to loose my job and make me quit .
i don''t feel love in the world towards me . i feel bad and i want to die .
I'm 26 years old and i can't blame anyone but my self all do i have to look back to see why i might be such a looser and what might be the reasons to my failures today .
can anyone help me?
do i have mental problems was i born with them where they caused?
my stepfather always advised my mother that I'm just lazy and to ignore my bull **** throw me out the house etc . when ever i tried talking to my brother he tells me that he wont talk bad about mom. that I'm a adult that i should get over it .(my mother never left my brother in another country far away alone and he never got physically or mentally abused by anyone . my mothers family thinks i bring great distress and they feel sorry for her no one ever cares for me. they just think i'm a a big problem. i just signed up for college i want to make it but i carry great sadness inside a frown face : (
.i don't feel sorry for me its just my body is in pain it feels tired.
my older brother is married and has his own family my mother is always there and still wont want to spend time with me.
she says i made wrong choices and i have made wrong choices is true but I'VE SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE ALONE NEGLECTED BY MY MOTHER AND ABUSED BY MY FATHER . I CAN'T COME TO THINK WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE MY MOTHERS FAMILY IS!! THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A HEART. WHAT IF THEY WHERE ME ..NO THEY CANT EVEN COME TO WALK IN MY SHOES.
i have a question .... how can people in this world my own family want a better world a better family when they support and love people like my parents that caused so much harm to someone as my self ? i carry my family's same blood but they wouldn't care if i was starving or sad or missed treated no they ignored it . no wonder everyones life is gotten worse with the years . i think my family is ****** up and very unsivilized . no one protected me as a child and no one cares about me as an adult i hate everyone
I'm a female 26 .I grew up in south america with my father ,before i was born my mother had my brother from another man .
my brother is 5 years older than me .
my mother left me with my father after she received many times physical abuse from him and took off with my brother to the united states.
when i was 7 years old i started receiving physical abuse from my father for not doing homework ,eating all my food, or not getting along with other children.
my father was never home he was usually always at work and when ever i would see him he would beat me and mentally abuse me. as the years went by the physical abuse escalated to a great gravity. my mother used to visit me every other year for 2 to 3 weeks in south america .
i used to beg her to take me with her but she always replied she couldn't . she started visiting me when i was 5 she got married to a man that was more than wealthy in the united states when i was about 6 years old . they have been married now for 21 years. when i was 14 my father lost everything and the abuse got dangerous to the point i thought he was going to kill me.i thought that life with my mother would be full of love and that she would make up for all the time i had spent abused and lonely 14 years.
i thought that with her i would have a family and that if i moved in with her that i would be her all and that she would take away the pain in the memory of the life i had lived in. she figured out a way to bring me on a vacation visit through lawyers and i decided to stay . she told me that i couldn't stay with her and that the government would come after us and arrest her and take me back ,i told her that if she tried putting me on that plane that i was going to go crazy and tell the workers in the plane that I'm having a heart attack and that they would not be able to take of with the flight .
i would cry and scream and beg every year every week every month for help.i went through great loneliness and sorrow . my mother had all the money in the world and her houses have always been beautiful until this day!
when i moved in with her she was never home and always gone ,how ever when i came on vacation she would take me to disneyland etc how ever i only came to visit for a month.
now I'm 26 years old she still neglects me . the only great thing she did is motivate me to take singing lessons and pay for them she told me i should become a singer.
(my father also was a singer) . when i was 18 her and my stepfather got sick of me not working and making it as a singer so they threw me out of the house.i've been bouncing back and forward since then . I barely ever see my mother and when she is around she doesn't acknowledge my feeling or needs .I'm older now but I'm much to confused sad and angry to get on with my life. she always tells me that i look just like my grandmother and my father with a negative vibe and when i was younger 15 ,16 i remember her telling me my father was ugly and that he looked like my grandmother. so = now I'm ugly .i tried doing modeling but that got me in some trouble since im not to tall and the photographers where quite rude and some abusive .i made some money but my mother didn't support me at all with the idea of modeling. i just wanted to be happy i just wanted her approval i just wanted to be beautiful and loved.
where did i go wrong.
my mother threw me out of the house again when i was 20 for no reason she was just sick of me i tried getting in the house in a peaceful manner just to get my things but my brother knock me out and i blacked out i don't know for how long .
i now suffer from depression and anxiety .I'm unable to hold a job since i have a hard time getting along with other people .i feel different and strange among other people and is hard for me to get higher by just anyone .I'm very sensitive and any little bad vibe can cause me to loose my job and make me quit .
i don''t feel love in the world towards me . i feel bad and i want to die .
I'm 26 years old and i can't blame anyone but my self all do i have to look back to see why i might be such a looser and what might be the reasons to my failures today .
can anyone help me?
do i have mental problems was i born with them where they caused?
my stepfather always advised my mother that I'm just lazy and to ignore my bull **** throw me out the house etc . when ever i tried talking to my brother he tells me that he wont talk bad about mom. that I'm a adult that i should get over it .(my mother never left my brother in another country far away alone and he never got physically or mentally abused by anyone . my mothers family thinks i bring great distress and they feel sorry for her no one ever cares for me. they just think i'm a a big problem. i just signed up for college i want to make it but i carry great sadness inside a frown face : (
.i don't feel sorry for me its just my body is in pain it feels tired.
my older brother is married and has his own family my mother is always there and still wont want to spend time with me.
she says i made wrong choices and i have made wrong choices is true but I'VE SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE ALONE NEGLECTED BY MY MOTHER AND ABUSED BY MY FATHER . I CAN'T COME TO THINK WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE MY MOTHERS FAMILY IS!! THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A HEART. WHAT IF THEY WHERE ME ..NO THEY CANT EVEN COME TO WALK IN MY SHOES.
i have a question .... how can people in this world my own family want a better world a better family when they support and love people like my parents that caused so much harm to someone as my self ? i carry my family's same blood but they wouldn't care if i was starving or sad or missed treated no they ignored it . no wonder everyones life is gotten worse with the years . i think my family is ****** up and very unsivilized . no one protected me as a child and no one cares about me as an adult i hate everyone
If you haven't ever done so yet, I would try and talk to a therapist of some sort. I have never talked with one myself. For me it would be a very, very hard thing to do indeed. It's hard to "break that ice" if you know what I mean. Exercising and moving around as much as possible is a great way to combat depression. I know it personally helps me tremendously. It's also easier said than done 99% of the time! I try to forget the past and move forward one day at a time. Sometimes it's one hour at a time. On bad days it's one minute at a time. It isn't comforting at all knowing there's always someone else that's worse off. In my mind, knowing that fact is the "icing on the cake" that I happen to be allergic to! It's a vicious circle.
Hey , i respect u and i feel u r very brave you had faced all those sufferings. if someone else would be in ur place he/she might have commit suicide very early But now i will suggest dont try to do anything wrong with yourself. Dont treat yourself badly. Every one is having some problems in life. I would suggest you to forget about your past try to find a new job, go to the Doctor for consultation and try to see the brighter part of life also. Even me and my brother suffered a lot in our childhood and that gave me the courage to fight with the bad. Try to speak about ur problem through writing or may be to friends or whoever close to you. Be brave consult the doctor, u will be perfectly fine, try to meet orphan kids talk to them about their problem.... You will feel better and do some yoga and meditation if possible cause they can heal you physically and mentally also. And i will request people of this forum to help her by suggesting good things.
I wish i could come there and take away all your sorrows. I will pray to GOD for you.
And if you feel better please write here also
God Bless You
I wish i could come there and take away all your sorrows. I will pray to GOD for you.
And if you feel better please write here also
God Bless You
Hey, very nice to hear back from you! Yeah, I'll put up my story tonight I believe. No way, don't be suicidal, you have me as a friend no matter what! I understand your anger, as I am very upset inside too, and yes I can get angry about it at times, but usually I am just in disbelief and concerned. And though it may seem impossible at times, just like you said, we can be happy!! Always remember that!!
thank you so much for reading my life . iI can't believe i woke again after how suicidal I had felt but then again is a new day and yes i can be happy and so can you even do it's hard.
I would love to read about your life!! today i will try to exercise and not hate everyone in my family even do i really really do . no one even takes the time to call to say hello or see how I'm doing in all of this years maybe I've received 8 phone calls I'm 26 .I'm afraid to call because i know if i do they talk to me out of petty not love and i really don't need that what i need is a friend F*** THEM .
I would love to read about your life!! today i will try to exercise and not hate everyone in my family even do i really really do . no one even takes the time to call to say hello or see how I'm doing in all of this years maybe I've received 8 phone calls I'm 26 .I'm afraid to call because i know if i do they talk to me out of petty not love and i really don't need that what i need is a friend F*** THEM .
Hi, I am very pleased to hear your life story and your view on it all! It is actually surprising to me because I joined this site like a half a year ago or something and haven't read anyone's post that is so similar to how I feel! I have actually started a group here on medhelp and have even written my life story, but haven't posted it yet cos I want to read over it again. And I really admire your honesty!! And I think you have every reason to feel the way you do today, I can completely relate. I don't really appreciate anyone, because I don't think that anyone is there for me. And relationships with people or work environment never work out well cos the smallest negative vibe makes me emotional/stresses me out. I only really ever talk to people "in passing", as I am too anxious about making plans or commitments. But I will be posting my story and if you want you can read it. When creating a group, I believe it said I have the option to send everyone a message about it, so you should get the message.
Sometimes I am a bit ashamed that I overreact, because your history sounds much more hard than mine, but I still have the same feelings about society and family!! Well anyway, you'll have to read my post. Thanks for posting, and don't give up or lose hope! You can still find love and happiness I believe! And if you think about, you deserve these things, well everyone deserves them. I am right now facing anxiety and depression like you and I have for a while now, and it's all because I think my family is uncivilized. Ok I guess I explain all this in my story. I will also put my story in my "journal entry " option on my home page. "A strong heart and hope makes a person strong". This is a saying that I heard from a friend from Africa who escaped the war as a child and now started an organization (wydasudan.org) to help his home country with clean water. I know it's hard, but I aspire to this quote. I'll be posting my story soon!
Sometimes I am a bit ashamed that I overreact, because your history sounds much more hard than mine, but I still have the same feelings about society and family!! Well anyway, you'll have to read my post. Thanks for posting, and don't give up or lose hope! You can still find love and happiness I believe! And if you think about, you deserve these things, well everyone deserves them. I am right now facing anxiety and depression like you and I have for a while now, and it's all because I think my family is uncivilized. Ok I guess I explain all this in my story. I will also put my story in my "journal entry " option on my home page. "A strong heart and hope makes a person strong". This is a saying that I heard from a friend from Africa who escaped the war as a child and now started an organization (wydasudan.org) to help his home country with clean water. I know it's hard, but I aspire to this quote. I'll be posting my story soon!
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