What is wrong with me? Is this depression?

[patsfan996]

Some background: I am applying to college soon (I'm seventeen) and will be moving. I feel that this is relevant because maybe it is generating a lot of stress?

Lately I've had this awful surreal feeling. It's like I've become intensely aware of my relationships with over people (for example I've become intensely aware of my brother, as if all this time I've never really thought of our relationship), which for some reason makes me feel incredibly distant from them, as if I've reduced them to a concept that's making me anxious because I hate the feeling so much. Whenever I generally get this feeling, which also has included a sense of unreality, I start to panic because sometime it goes away and when it does I feel better, more connected, and more real. I long for the time before this feeling, for the time that I felt "normal", and feel a sense of terror that I will never be able to have that again.

The ways I alleviate this feeling is by talking to my mother and brother (the people with whom this effect is strongest) and by getting more sleep, but it still comes back, sometimes very bad, sometimes not so bad.

When this feeling starts coming back I strongly question my sanity, and question whether or not I love my family, which makes me really depressed, because I know that I do but I'm still freaking out about it. I feel very isolated, and I feel like everything is crashing down and that my sanity is draining away again.

The feeling tends to be weakest when I'm interacting with people, but tends to be strongest when my mind isn't occupied. Is this just extreme boredom? Is it stress? (which is weird because I don't feel that much stress about the things I mentioned at the top, but maybe they're causing underlying stress and anxiety under the surface and I just can't feel it). Or is it something worse, like depression or depersonalization/depression?

Logically, I realize that I'm just over-analyzing everything. But I feel like everything's a surreal mess.

[amber122o]

I have derealization if this is what u are going through I'm so sorry ik how it feels I feel like I'm in a constent dream like everything is unreal its 24/7 if u need someone to talk to u can message me anytime hope u feel better soon hun

[updownleftright]

Watch the movie Numb with Mathew Perry it's all about denationalization. Also, some people respond really well to exercise and some don't. You might want to try it especially since you've very young. Exercise really can help your body quite a lot.

[witheredrose]

It very well can be depersonalization depreession and also some anxiety. im not that educated about depersonalization. The best way of knowing is to talk to a doctor about it and decribe all  you have described above. They would access you and come down to a conclusion as to why this is happening.
Sometimes I feel like im living with somebody elses family, like I know its MY family, but it doesnt feel like it. I think maybe its because most the times im a spec of dust to them.  Maybe since your getting closer to beimg out on your own, you fear your relationships with everyone will change and npw your feeling intensly aware of them and experiencing some anxiety about it? You did just say you have applied for colledge, that means going away from family. I
I am sorry you are having this problem, im not sure what could be the problem,but I think it sounds like some anxiety and depression, or mixed emotions. would you consider talking to a doctor?

[patsfan996]

And another thing, writing this out and thinking about it terms of words rather than feelings has helped me feel better.