What's my problem?

[Seriouslynotfine]

Hi all,

I am 18 this year and I am unsure if I'm suffering from depression. I feel very resentful towards my family members because I felt like they bring all my hopes down. I've been doing my best for everyone but they don't appreciate it and even blamed me for everything. I make all my friends and family members smile but deep down no one knows I'm so hurt.

Many times, I wait till everyone is asleep and then let my heart cry out silently in my bed. I just don't know what to do anymore. Recently I have suicidal thoughts and I'm trying to fight it.

I've done depression tests and they were all positive. I'm unsure now and I have no money to spend on a psychiatrist. Also, I've been facing this problem: I often have nightmares and during the day, I keep thinking of scary things. Like I keep imagining myself being chased by a murderer and other scary situations. I can literally stone for minutes and I felt myself in the situation. I get tensed. What is happening to me?

[freddie8605]

Hi, I can't diagnose you because i am not a doctor but, because you are feeling like this, it is very important you see a doctor and get some treatment, so you don't feel sad and suicidal. Maybe if you could see a GP or local doctor instead as i think they are cheaper than a Psychiatrist. If you do get more suicidal and have a plan i really urge you to go to your local ER, and tell someone how you are feeling. You are young and shouldn't be feeling like this, so i hope you can see a doctor or councilor to help you.  

Hope you feel better soon
Freddie  

[Seriouslynotfine]

Recently on Sunday I got very angry because my Father and a few of my used to be good friends forgot all about my birthday. And my mom who used to buy me birthday cake did not do so. I got so upset..and I felt so unimportant to them. I've ignored them for days and I am feeling suicidal. Yet, they are nonchalant about it which upsets me more