I don't know what to do

[mandajeh2004]

I have the symptoms of depression,  but I don't have the money to go to a doctor.  All I can think about lately is suicide.  I don't have a job, I don't want to leave my house, I really hate myself, and I don't care about anything anymore.  I don't know what to do!!!  I asked my Dad to get me some help, but he suggested that I read a book or newspaper.... or to get out and do some yard work.  He just doesn't understand the severity of my condition.  I cannot talk to anyone about it.  I am too far gone....  I need some real help.  Talking is just not going to do any good.  It's to the point that I only want to get help just for my family's sake.... not mine.  I really hate myself.  I just don't know what to do.  I am broke, and my Dad thinks that it will just pass and that seeing a doctor is really not necessary.  What should I do?  I am barely hanging on.

[mieny]

~Argentina~
23-930430
~Armenia~
2-538-194 or 2-538-197
~Australia~
1800-198-313
~Austria~
01-713-3374
~Barbados~
429-9999
~Brazil~
21-233-9191
~Canada~
514-723-4000
~China~
852-2382-0000
~Costa Rica~
506-253-5439
~Cyprus~
0-777-267
~Denmark~
70-201-201
~Egypt~
7621602
~Estonia~
6-558-088
~Finland~
040-5032199
~France~
01-45-39-4000
~Germany~
0800-1110-111
~Guatemala~
502-254-1259
~Holland~
0900-0767
~Honduras~
504-237-3623
~Hungary~
62-420-111
~India~
91-22-307-3451
~Italy~
06-7045-4444
~Japan~
3-5286-9090
~Lithuania~
8-800-2-8888
~Malaysia~
03-756-8144
~Mauritius~
46-48-889 / 800-93-93
~Mexico~
525-510-2550
~New Zealand~
4-473-9739
~Nicaragua~
505-268-6171
~Norway~
815-33-300
~Poland~
52-70-000
~Portugal~
239-72-10-10
~Republic of Ireland~
1850-60-90-90
~Russia~
8-20-222-82-10

[mieny]

There are factors in your life that are having a profound effect on you such as not having a job and you have issues with self-esteem. I am not sure if you are an adolescent who is dependent on his parents or a young adult who must now depend on his parents for financial support because you are unemployed.  Either way, your parents are giving you shelter and food...you should abide by their rules and accept that their financial situation may not accommodate your needs at this moment. It is difficult for parents to understand the complex minds of children, adolescents and young adults.  We grew up in a very different environment with limited knowledge and did not live or communicate thru the virtual world of computers. You have a great resource available to you, use your computer instead of reading a book but don't bury yourself hours on end on the computer. Keeping yourself occupied by doing chores around the house isn't the worst thing in the world. You can take a small step forward and meet your parents halfway. Perhaps they will compensate you for the work you do. Not wanting to leave your house can mean many things. You feel safe and protected in the confines of your home. Leaving your home makes you anxious since you will have to come face to face with the notion that you may or may not succeed in the outside world. However, it would be a travesty if you didn't even make the effort to do so and continue to have a false self worth. There will be disappointment as well as success in your life and this is a fact that is beyond your control. You must find ways to cope with the outside world.  I am not a person who measures success by an individual's type of employment or by an individual's financial wealth. A person can fulfill his life thru other means. Do not despair, there is always hope.  
However, you must take the first step forward.              

[lonelygirl314]

I felt the same way, I kept looking in the mirror and saying things like I hate you or your worthless. But it does help to talk, maybe if you tell your dad about this stuff he will realize the sevarity of the problem. If that doesn't work then just remember that you are not alone and it's not your fault. ( some people don't realize that depression is an illness.
Hang in there, you are worth more than you think <3

[mieny]

A vast majority of children, adolescents and adults have thoughts of suicide and are depressed. If you don't have the funds to seek medical care, there are hotlines that you can call. You can also speak to a priest,clergyman, in a confessional box. They are bound to secrecy and cannot discuss your conversation with anyone.    
~Singapore~
800-221-4444
24 hrs / 7 days
000-227-0309
~Southern Africa~
0861-322-322
24 hour Crisis Number
~South Korea~
2-715-8600
~Spain~
91-459-00-50
~Sri Lanka~
1-692-909
~St. Vincent~
809-456-1044
~Sweden~
031-711-2400
~Switzerland~
143
~Thailand~
02-249-9977
~Trinidad & Tobago~
868-645-2800
~Ukraine~
0487-327715 / 0482-226565
~United Kingdom~
08457-90-90-90
~United States~
1-800-Suicide OR 1-800-784-2433
24 hours a day, 7 days a week
National Youth Crisis & Suicide Hotline [phone]
~Yugoslavia~ 021-623-393