Aa
Anyone,please,need to vent n need a friend right now :(
Hi, so as the title says just need a friend or just to vent. If any of u can relate to even if you dont want to talk to me feel free to leave a comment with ur experience and how ur doing now.so basically my fiance (been with 5yrs n engaged 2yrs)and i got into a huge fight tonight. Ive mever seen him that angry n he actially scared me.it started over something that was stupid and should have never been an argument in the first place and then it went into stuff that i didnt even know he was ever upset about n he started screming at me n smashing his fist on the counter.before i tell you what it was let me say that the past year has been very hard on me,idk about him with some stuff thataffected me bc idk if it did and also part of the prob and why idk if it did affect him is bc he one of those "manly men", no offense guys but one of those who wont tell u when he upset he will keep it in, or atleast most stuff even when u sit there a million times and try n talk to him but he doesnt want to talk.ok so over the past year, he wound up in the hospital due to kidney failure(obviously affected both of us)he was in for 3 months.last april,i drop out if beauty school to be there for him bc they didnt think he was gonna make it,i was supposed to go back in october but i had decided that i wasnt happy doing hair for a living.i would like to become a nail tech and a bartender part time.we also been trying to move in together but between him not working from hospital,me not working when in school, and other stuff we havent been able to.i had been working but some stuff happened etc.i havent been able to find a job for several months and its not like im sitting on my ***,ive applied to hundreds n yes i mean lost count in the hundreds of jobs.ny state isnt a great place to fid a job right now.he always tells me bc i feel bad about it,dont worry about it,i understand its not ur fault etc so i figured obviously hes not mad n understands.as were were arguing he started saying some very hurtful things,i need to grow up n ill learn on my own and that if i want to move in with him i need to prove to him that i can be independent.as i said its not like im sitting on my *** or not trying.if theres no jobs for me then what the hell am i supposed to do,pull a job out of my ***?!?!so that really hurt and also after 5yrs hes telling me i have to prove that to him if i want to move in together when weve been together that long n been trying for a baby over a year,oh and thats another thing thats been upsetting is problems with my ovaries and been trying a year for baby but nothing yet.now weve broken up in the past n he texted me a little while ago saying honestly i think its best i be alone so o tected him back a few times saying that i was sorry n i truly didnt know he was thats upset bc he never said anything and ive tried to talk to him n he never wants to and i would never purposly hurt him or upset him.if i didnt want to be with him i wouldnt atill b here after 5yrs so wtf?!?! I told him also tomorrow im calling the local temp agency again to see if they have anything fir me yet.he never texted me back.the last time we broke up it was a big fight n he said the same thing but we were back together the next day.so idk whats going on right now as he never texted me back after i apologized and everything.but as i said i truly needed to vent n talk to someone :'( im truly hurting right now n been crying for almost 3 hours now n cant stop :'( sorry its so long and i know im orobaly forgetting somethibg but sorry again but thanks for reading.
I'm rooting for you, hope this all works out for you. Anybody who can love somebody like this deserves to be happy.
@looby, im glad to know youve done the same...well not glad, that sounded stupid lol but i mean im glad that u understand and can admit u arent a big invinsible guy. I picked him up from work today and he didnt say much of anything. I just asked him how work was going n he said good n that was it. :'( i was really hoping he would talk. As i said i dont want to push him right now. I know that a long time ago, i think it was about a year and half almost 2 years into our relationship, we got into a big argument n we basically didnt talk for almost a month, its personal why and its hard to describe so i dont expect u to understand but we didnt actually break up but we didnt talk or should i say he didnt talk to me for almost a month n then we were able to work things out. It really hurt then but it hurts so much more now bc of how long weve been together. Im jist trying to have as much hope n faith as i can but its really hard right now.
I hope it goes well, you guys have been together a long time and it sounds as though you've been through a lot. You sound as though he's your world and it's similar to my girlfriend. I have done similar things to your boyfriend and it's all because health problems have made me uncertain and impacted on me physically- I'm not the big strong invincible guy she fell in love with and it makes me wonder what she's doing with me. I sometimes feel resentful towards her and can be an ***, all because I can't talk about it and in one way I'm trying to protect myself because I wouldn't blame her if she walked out on me. It's really stupid and I hate being like that immediately after I am mean to her, I love her to bits but pride means that she usually makes the first move after we fall out. Your guy sounds like my identical idiot twin and rather than not loving you I'll bet he's feeling really bad just now. Frustration unfortunately means that you pick the worst things to say and it doesn't mean you really think it. I also doubt he'd get that emotional if he didn't love you a lot. This is a long story I know, I just thought it might help to hear the kind of insecure silliness that we men are capable of. Tell him you wanted to call but you thought you'd give him the space, he'll appreciate it. I hope by this time tomorrow you guys are working things out.
@looby...unfortunately no :'( he asked if i could pick him up from work tomorrow bc his car is in the shop...i said yes...i know tell me im stupid. But im really hoping that maybe then he will talk to me and we could fix things. If not at i said i dont want to push him bc i feel like all im going to do is push him away more. I know that when i want to be alone, i dont want anyone to bother me and i know i get upset when they do. Hopefully things will start to turn around soon. I moss him so much and its getting worse unfortunately. I havent been sleeping, only maybe and hour or two at nite and cant eat. Everytime im around food i feel like im going to get sick and everytime i eat i do get sick. I havent eaten since yesterday morning. I will keep u posted and thank u for checking on me <3 i appreciate it
No hes never hit me or scared me before. Its not like him at all. Weve of course gotten into arguments but nothing loke this.
a relationship is hard to know what to do. is he ever mean to you like hit you are anything other than scare? you know a lot of young couples have problems. my niece has a boyfriend who want keep a job. he doe not help her with anything. she had a boy before she met him. he seems to love him and now they have a 5 month old baby boy. I don't think he will ever grow up. they are losing their apartment next month. his mom is moving in with them after she gets out of the hospital. they have rent payments in the 800.00 range. they can not pay that. he found them another place real nice. 1300.00. a month you pay your own utilities. no way can he ever afford this and he will never keep a job. don't get yourself in that situation. now she loves him. but she is getting tired of it all. she has two kids. she has no idea what to do. they moved to Houston. not close to us. we raised her first born for the first 5 years of his life. it has been hard not having him home. you need to sit down no yelling and talk about what is bothering him. maybe get counceling. that might help. if not do you have a preacher you can talk to? I hope everything works out for you. mandy876
Hey, if u wanna talk to him, just call him!
I often find women have to do the chasing up in these situations, men just shy away into a corner.
One of my male friends told me that and I sorta believe it lol!
I often find women have to do the chasing up in these situations, men just shy away into a corner.
One of my male friends told me that and I sorta believe it lol!
Thank you so much everyone for ur answers, you truly dont know how much i appreciate it and it did make me feel better. As of right now i honestly dont know what to do or what im going to do. I feel like i should give him some space and let him think about thing but at the same time, being together 5yrs and if not seeing eachother everyday,talkong on the phone everyday, it kills me to not be able to talk to him or even think about not talkong to him. When i say i never meant to upset him n if i knew he was that upset if he would have just talked to me the god knows how many time i tried to talk to him i would have tried even harder to figure things out and fix them but i had no idea and he didnt even give the slightest hint. Hes mever like this and in the 5yrs we been together ive never heard him yell at me like that or get that angry. I feel horrible but as i said i truly truly truly did not know he felt that way. If he would have just talked to me it could have been sqwashed a long time ago. I think i will give him a few days n see what happens and see if he comes around. If he doesnt its gonna kill me, i love him so much and i didnt put the last 5yrs of my life into being with him for nothing. And if he doesnt and can walk away that easily than that basically says he never really loved me the way i thought he did :'( ive been crying non stop i cant help it. I miss him so much n i love him so much. Ill keep all of u posted with whats going on and as i said u truly have no clue how much ur comments help and make me feel and how much it means to me that someone actually took the time to read my post and leave a comment for me. Thanks you so muchz
Relationships are hard work :( A lot of the time men have not grown up in an environment where expressing feelings as a male is accepted. No signs of weakness, just chin up and be the man! My ex was like this and couldn't even cry in front of me because he was told "men don't cry". It's really hard to try and help someone or understand them when their home environment of male figures in their life has caused them to not be able to express emotions. That's why they seemingly blow up after a small arguement, because they keep all these emotions in check for so long, it's like the straw that breaks the camels back.
My partner and I fight almost every day. It's awful. I really hope you feel better soon
My partner and I fight almost every day. It's awful. I really hope you feel better soon
Hey, hope you are feeling better since posting. Hope this can help you a little: I'm a 'manly man' like your boyfriend and can hopefully relate to him in a way that might help you. I used to be very fit until an accident damaged my back and the on going uncertainty, pain and loss of masculine identity is something I struggle to discuss with anyone, particularly my girlfriend. She's got anxiety issues and we argue too, I think maybe we get caught up in our own problems too much but we love each other. I bet your guy really loves you, if he's anything like me then the frustration that is vented at you is more likely to do with how he feels about himself- I hope things work out
Hey there
It sounds like you've had a lot of different bits and pieces making things hard. I've gone through this as well with a boyfriend (long-distance) where it seemed we just fought all the time and we both had hard things going on in our lives. And a lot of fights and bad tempers and everything.
Sometimes we get angry and shout at the people we love but its just because of the situation we are in. Do you think the break up is for real or just because of a fight?
I used to have really awful fights with my boyfriend but then the next day realised i loved him and we r having a hard time with life, and just call him and talk about it (and actually say how i feel)
What do u think u will do next?
It sounds like you've had a lot of different bits and pieces making things hard. I've gone through this as well with a boyfriend (long-distance) where it seemed we just fought all the time and we both had hard things going on in our lives. And a lot of fights and bad tempers and everything.
Sometimes we get angry and shout at the people we love but its just because of the situation we are in. Do you think the break up is for real or just because of a fight?
I used to have really awful fights with my boyfriend but then the next day realised i loved him and we r having a hard time with life, and just call him and talk about it (and actually say how i feel)
What do u think u will do next?
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