feeling so alone--any1 feel this way?

[Cassie012]

I have been living with my boyfriend now for about a year. We are so great together, yet, he has these changes in his moods all the time. One week he will be great towards me and really sweet.. the next, he acts like I am not even there.. like he couldn't care less about me--won't hug me, won't cuddle with me at night (which really gets to me), and won't ask me to do things with him anymore. I am a full time nanny working over 50 hours a week and take online crash courses, so it is pretty hard for me to find the time to go out and do things. He works a lot too but is now going out every weekend with his friends and it just makes me feel like I am so alone. I wish I could be out with him, but I just don't have the time and it kills me. I feel like we are drifting apart and maybe that he wants to find someone who DOES have more time.. I just feel so incredibly alone and just knowing that he feels differently KILLS me.. He won't talk about it either.. says nothing is wrong.. I have been so sad all the time now and I just want it to stop.. Has anyone else ever had an issue like this? I am just soo stressed out--with work, school, our dog is extremely sick so I have to stay with him give him IVs and meds, and I feel like he just doesn't care at all..

[Cassie012]

Thank you so much for your response! I feel exactly the same way. He takes advantage of me. He is 26 and is, working hard yes, and of course deserves his time to be out, but there is no reason to be switching back and forth so much. I am 22 and I feel like I am more mature than he is. I take him to work every day, pick him up, clean the apartment, take care of the animals.. the only thing I ask him to do is take out the trash. Our dog is extremely sick right now. I am having to give him IV fluids at night and medicine all day in order to, hopefully, save his life. My boyfriend right now is out on a boat with his friends. I think that he feels that he has the upper hand in the relationship with everything I do for him and knowing that even if he acts this way, I'm still here tomorrow. I think it is time to show him that he does NOT have the upper-hand and it is NOT okay to be acting the way he's been acting. He knows how much it upsets me. He must be second guessing everything if he won't even cuddle with me at night anymore. I just feel like this isn't the way it should be. He should be supportive no matter what and WANT to help me and WANT to make me feel better when I'm upset.. I should never have to ask him or try to force him to do that. That's what hurts the most I think..

[mammo]

I am so sorry you are going thru this! Your boyfriend's actions say something is wrong, warm one day, cold the next.  You sound like such a sweet and caring person, and don't deserve this.  If he truly cares about you, "time" would not interfere with this, unless he is very shallow.  You wouldn't treat him this way just because he was very busy, you care too much to do this.  I know it's breaking your heart, but don't allow him to call all the shots here.  Think about what you want, need and deserve.  You're juggling school and long working hours to better yourself.....this is very commendable!  He may be showing his true colors now or as many refer to them "red flags."  If he can't appreciate you trying to better yourself by supporting you emotionally, and being there for you, what does your future look like?  You need to force his hand on this, either he wants this relationship or he doesn't.  He doesn't even have enough respect to talk to you about this, I think that's wrong.  You don't want to be sitting home until he does find someone else only to be told this. He is having his cake and eating it too!  You want and deserve a man who is going to be supportive of you no matter what the reason, and he's not doing this.  Going out with friends seems to be his priority and you deserve better!  His actions now predict your treatment in the future, and is this what you want?  I know you don't, none of us do.  As much as it hurts, you may have to make the decision here, and not allow him to have it both ways.  If you lose him....you never had him.  I know this sounds harsh, but it's so true.  You are working to better yourself, he's partying, not a good mix or a good sign.  Stop allowing him to call the shots, he's either in or out, no gray areas.  Think of you, and what you want.  I know it's hard but don't compromise your needs and wants for someone who doesn't care. Big hugs and take care.