I have food-related depression. It makes me miserable and hate myself and it just ruins things for me. I so badly want to be really, really skinny, but my body just naturally doesn't do that. I am a ballet dancer so I am under constant pressure to weigh the least possible, but I am having such a hard time lowering it and its making me go insane. I am in front of mirrors all day and just want to cry everytime I look at myself. I've tried eating the least amounts possible, but I am hypoglycemic so that never turns out well. Sometimes I over exercise or starve myself to the point that I binge from being so hungry. It just makes me feel so much worse and more discouraged everytime :(
I feel like I have such an unhealthy relationship with food and I have NO idea how to fix it :(
I feel bad about myself even when I consume necessary calories, and then once I mess up my set diet, my day is ruined and I feel like I look five pounds heavier instantly (I'm not exaggerating, I literally see more weight on myself). The worst thing about all of this is that I can never lose and maintain my weight. It fluctuates so much and I can't get in control of it I don't know what to do anymore :(