is it depression?

[sulhwa]

I'm 19 years old and I live with both of my parents.
for the most part, we got along really great and my relationship with my parents was probably stronger than any other that I know of. between a teenager and their parents, at least.
but about a month ago, my parents decided to get a divorce.
I'm old enough, so although it is a big change and hard to cope with, I'm not as reliant on my parents as I used to be. it's difficult for me to deal with, but I'm doing it and it's not so bad.

but lately, I feel so empty. I've had this feeling before, a few years ago.
I used to feel really terrible constantly. I cried almost every single day for no reason, seemingly. at night, I'd have rushing thoughts and I'd panic. it'd get hard to breathe and I'd start sweating. I didn't have a specific reason that triggered how sad I had felt back then, but I did. I felt horrible.
after about a year, the feelings had subsided significantly. since then, I haven't felt so 'depressed'. until recently, that is.

honestly, I'm not even sure if I'm depressed or not. I've looked at lists of symptoms and diagnosis and I guess technically it seems that I am. I'm just really confused because even though I feel like this for a majority of the time, I also feel really happy at times. when I'm with my friends, I can talk and laugh and have some great conversations and forget my troubles. but as soon they leave, or I'm alone again, all the bad feelings come back.
does my description sound like depression? or maybe some other mental disorder?
I just feel really helpless lately and since I don't have friends that I talk to about personal issues like these, I just really don't know.
any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

[LeftCoastChick]

When things change in a person' life which has been a constant, like your parents being together. Of course it's going to rock your boat. You are grieving for a relationship that was under the assumption would never change. That can cause serious anxiety and depression.  I don't think it's a permanent situation unless you had these symptoms before.

I do suggest you see your family doc, and you might need some talk therapy. I think everyone needs it at one point or another to deal with loss. You aren't alone :)
LCC

[Kova]

hi.

sounds to me like you have depression with anxiety and panic attacks.  they go hand in hand.  but i agree with Bear, you should get a professional opinion.  

Kova

[Bear13]

Well, the divorce is certainly not helping the situation.  There could be deep stressors in that experience that is triggering your depression.  The best way to determine if this is truly depression (i.e., brain chemistry), you should see a psychologist or a psychiatrist.  They have certain tests that can pinpoint a depression....  In any case, it may not be a bad idea to talk to someone like a therapist....  there are ways of managing depression without the intervention of drugs, but if you have a true chemical imbalance, then the drug therapy, in conjunction with the medication, would be your best route to managing.  Good luck, and keep us posted....