I messed up

[soslady]

I'm confused.  I got a friend angry at me.  I hadn't seen him in years.  We were co-workers several years ago.

It's very difficult to have male friends and being a lady.  I am not in any way interested in him more than a friendship and that maybe part of my fear for wanting to contact him.

I guess he's mad because he wanted to meet me and that was way back in November.

I am sorry i didnt' and didn't write back.  Now he thinks i was using him.

I tried to explain that i wasn't but i don't think he buys it.  

I feel rotten for him to accuse of such things.  

In my message to him on Friday, I just told him i wasn't sure i should have contacted him because I don't want to bother him with all my problems.  I guess he took that as being that I don't want to associate with him because he can't help me.  

It's further from the truth.  I just thought it's not convenient for me to ask him for help.  Anyhow we never met, so how can I be using  him?  I never got help from him.  I avoided him because I felt ashamed of myself for asking for help in the first places several months ago.

I can't go on with my life.  I see to not knoiw what is the right thing to do to keep a friend.

I feel such panic and anxiety.  He's so mad at me and thinks the worst of me.

I have no friends.  I lost the few that i had.

I feel like crap and wishing my life was over.

[mammo]

You're not alone, we are your friends and you can always count on everyone here for support.  You need to give this person space and time, just leave him alone.  You can do no more, and have to accept that.  If he did nothing to help you, then you have nothing to apologize for.  If he feels used, and you've told him differently in an email, he knows, so you have to drop it.  Friendships are a two way street, you have apologized to him, now he either accepts it, or he doesn't.  If he felt like it was a good relationship, with time he will get over this and you two can be friends again.  But you admit that he was not a good choice for a friend, sometimes we just have to let things go, and sometimes these things are people.  It's not the quantity of friends we have but the quality of our friends. Also, really think about your feelings that your friends feel you owe them something for helping you.  True friends never feel this way, so make sure it's not you feeling a little insecure right now.  Work on feeling better about yourself and building your self-esteem, and you can't do this by pleading with this guy.  You've explained and apologized, now move on.  This guy may now be thriving on your constant emails and such, silence will get his attention more.  Take care...

[soslady]

He won't answer my phone calls and he's ignored my email messsages.  I know should have asked him for help because it was tough trying to think of why i changed my mind and what to say.  Now, he's taken the route to assume that i've been using him?  I am shocked and depressed.  I wish i never my co-worker.  I really hate him now because he won't reply to me.  

I feeling i am having to beg for forgivness when he didn't help me with anything at all because i didn't let him and he's saying that i am using him.

I wish this pain would go away.  I never should have befriended him knowing that he's just too difficult to talk to.  I think he just doesn't understand a lot.  

It's not as if i had many choices of friendships.

I never meant to hurt him but it was bound to be this way with my depression and my mistake in asking him for help when i knew that I wouldn't feel good about that.  I've have too much problems with people who think that I owed them just because they did a favor for me in the past.

I don't know how to make friends.  I am so alone in this world.

[Paxiled]

It's quite easy for men and women to be friends as long as the boundaries of the relationship are clear to both parties.  Sounds like they aren't for your friend here.  Tell him what you told us, and he'll understand if he's truly a friend.