my-ex

[bosnianworrier]

I seperated with my wife in november of last year. She lives with her parents and we share our baby. She is 21.

Since her family hates me, her and I had secret plans to live together again as soon as I become able to support the baby. The baby is 23 months old.

However, recently she started to become cold and distant. She brings me the baby and stays without him for weeks. Yes she has to work but she couldn't be 1 day without the baby before now she goes for weeks. I asked her why she is like that she said her family don't let her talk to me as they found out about our plans.

I thought she was lying and seeing someone.

Then for the last 3 days she has been telling me how she feels careless about everything. She doesn't enjoy the life, doesn't go out and lost interest in pretty much of everything.

To me it is sign of depression and should be treated early in my opinion. However, I still think she may be lying and cheating. But not seeing her baby for weeks is really really unusual.

I asked her does she wants to go to see a doc. She said yes. So maybe we will go tomorrow.

What should I do? I suffer from GAD and I am suspicious that she is seeing someone and making fool out of me. On the other hand maybe she is falling into depression and I don't like to see her to suffer if I can help. Please advice.

[LeftCoastChick]

Yes a GYN, they are specialist in determining/ruling out hormone issues, like PPD. PPD can sneak up on a woman later. She may just have depression, but it's important as well to rule out any medical non-psychological reasons, like hormones, thyroid. It's normal to get a full physical before prescribing most anti-depressants anyways. Either way, depression mainly is a chemical imbalance in the brain, there is situational depression, like the death of a loved one, but it sounds like an imbalance to me.

  I know know a lot about depression, I've suffered from it since about grade 2, and have been through "the mill" with the wrong meds. I was diagnosed recently with major depression AND  bipolar. I've educated myself to be an active participant in my wellness.I am in two support groups myself.  I've taken quite a few psych courses, but I would only say i'm knowledgeable through life experience. What's most important is that she gets talk therapy alongside meds(if needed), drugs alone do not cure depression. She may also want to look at support groups for depression and/or parenting/mother support groups.
Have you thought about couples counselling as well?

I hope this helps,
respectfully,
LCC

I wish there were these options when I was growing up, I know that my mother wouldn't have been so messed up, and I know a lot of folks that have been through the same thing. It's nice to have those options.

[bosnianworrier]

Thank you for reply,

I didn't know post partum depression can happen that late. She is under tremendous amount of pressure by her family.

What does OB/GYN stand for? If by GYN u mean gynecologist, then why? Just curious.

Thanks

[LeftCoastChick]

It could also be late post partum depression which is very serious. She needs to get serious help, it's probably better that you have the baby right now until she figures out what is going on honestly. She needs to see an OB/GYN and a Psychiatrist asap if what you're saying is accurate. Family pressure is awful as well. I hope things turn out okay.