HELP!!!!

[maddytylermathias]

ok so i am in desperate need of what to do.. my parents tried taking my som away from my husband and i and also are trying everything they can try and stay in touch with me but i want nothing to do with my family as they tried taking my son away. my parents and my sister are very disrespectful to my husband. what is everyones take on this any advise on what to do?

[maddytylermathias]

Thanks so much for your help... i love and miss my family so much but they have hurt my family so much by taking my son and spreading rumors about us and so on....

[jemma116]

In that case, you are doing the right thing in keeping well clear of them.

Things may settle down in time.  But don't feel guilty about distancing yourself from your family.  It is hard and it can affect you emotionally, but you need to do what is right for you and your young family.

Best wishes.

[maddytylermathias]

no my husband does not abuse me.. i am not ready to take the step to talk to my family. i am setting a boundry for mysefl and my family.. ive tried telling that but yet they still keep going and doing the same minipulating me. so i have no right to owe them any respect at this point.

[jemma116]

If your parents took one of your boys, then I would say that that is illegal and called "kidnap".  I would imagine that is the same in the US as it is in the UK.   If they were that concerned about the welfare of your children, there would be nothing stopping them reporting you to the appropriate authorities, who would investigate their complaints.  I am sure that the authorities would not take any of your children away just for the hell of it.  

Do you know what your parents mean when they say that your husband abuses you and your boys?  Abuse comes in different forms and your parents "manipulating" you and being nasty verbally is also a type of abuse - this is mental abuse.  This is very unhealthy for you and your sons, especially if they are present when there is shouting and arguing going on.

It does not matter what your parents feel is happening, they cannot just come and take, or keep one of your children without your or your husband's permission.

It would be very sad for your sons not to have contact with their grandparents.  But not if they are using your sons to manipulate you in any way.   Have you talked with your parents and told them that you would only allow them to see their grandsons if they stop doing what they are doing?

Arrange for a time, say once every 2 weeks to take your sons to see their grandparents for a couple of hours or so and stay with them during that time, but only if you want to do this.   Your husband does not have to go with you.  

As your sons are still quite young, grandparents can be a support and be helpful when you need it.

If you feel that you are not able to cope with this, then it may be better for you to have little to do with your parents.  

If your husband is hitting or controlling you, this is unacceptable and it is up to you whether you stay or leave him.  You do say that he is a very loving and I do hope that that he is not hitting you or your sons and not shouting or bullying you in any way.  All children need discipline and rules, but not to be hurt.

As you have taken the vows of marriage, your duty lies first to your husband and not to your parents.

Try and work things out with your parents.  Do it by letter if it is hard to talk to them.  Only let them see your children on YOUR terms.

Hope you can work something out to make everyone happy.  But don't forget, if things don't work out, do not feel guilty about not seeing your parents.

Best wishes.

[maddytylermathias]

well my parents think my husband abuses me and my 2 boys but is is the most loving husband i could ever have..they took my son away from because they were wanting some way to minipulate me. i feel like i need to stay in contact with them but at the same time i dont want to because the are verbally absive to me and my husband and have been spreading nasty rumors aboutnmy husband and i that are not even true.

[jemma116]

You have to do what is right for you, your husband and your son.

The thing is, why are your parents trying to take your son away?
Are they fearful that he is being mistreated in any way - that can be from mental abuse as well as physical.  

The right place with a child is with their parents, but not with parents that neglect or abuse the child.

Your parents must be very concerned for the welfare and safety of your son to be wanting to take him away from you.  

If you want nothing to do with your parents and sister - that is fine, you do not need to feel guilty and you do not have to stay in contact with them just because they are related to you.  

Do look carefully as to why your parents want to take your son away, regardless whether you stay in contact with them or not.  They may be seeing some dangers that you have not noticed.

Let us know how you get on and with any other problems you want advise on.

Best wishes.

[nursegirl6572]

Yes I agree more info is needed for us top be able to advise you.

[CRSeaside]

If you feel the need to disconnect from your family then do just that.
I'm not sure how they are trying to take your child. Legally?
Or keep the child at their home & won't allow you access ?
I want to offer some help, but your post isn't too clear.