second severe episode of depression

[space_ghost]

im 19 and this is my second episode of severe depression.
i literally hit rock bottom
i was once the king
but i have fallen
to a standard that is scum.
no actually what scum makes fun of. literally
i feel humilated where ever i go.
everyday at school i'm dragging out through the day.
it doesn't matter where i go, insults and gossip follows
and the worse part is
is that i dont have the money to escape this and move somewhere else
im stuck here
the only thing thats keeping me together are my friends
which now are slowly fading to jerks
and my family.
i don't know what to do.

[LeftCoastChick]

The motivation of the therapist is by asking questions, even ones you don't like is to figure what's going on with you, and how to best treat you. You are having paranoid/delusional thoughts, and I think it's important that having a psychiatrist and meds might be a good thing, even just to get you through school. High school was hell for me, so I can relate, but realistically not every human is mocking you at school, logistically impossible. Sometimes we think others are looking or talking about us, and it's our brains messing things up, and it's hard to tell reality from your illness. Go see your family doc and tell him or her what you posted here, then you'll get a referral to a psychiatrist, hopefully quickly. Hang in there.

[space_ghost]

i already talk to a therapist and hes an f'ing prikk.. all he talks about is what jesus would do and just because im religious he pulls out a bible and starts reading me stuff that really doesn't help me.. he talks more than i do and argues with me because i different opinions and my parents are paying this **** and medicle stuff and all obomas taxes aint really helping us out right now.. i feel like im dieing everyday pulling myself through life. im dragging myself through school trying to graduate and being ridiculed and mocked and made fun of by every living soul at school.  i have become a public example and humiliated.. i dont have money, or good grades and im no genius.. im barely gonna pass high-school if im lucky.  i hate my ******* life. stress is overwhelming.. months like november febuary and april ive been crying myself to sleep. my dad wants me to be on some type of medication for stress.  a girlfriend is impossible and if i do get one it has to be hidden or she will become mocked and made fun of as i have and i dont any of that to happen on my part.  my friends are slowly fading away.  and my true friends are friends but now they just look at me diferently. i dont know how to explain it. it has been goin on for 5 almost 6 months and its not getting better.

[therese83]

Hello
You do not have to feel like this.  Please do not let yourself suffer so, treatment is available and it can make a big difference.
My sister had her second bout of depression at 19 it lasted 8 months.  She did not have it again 'till she was 33 after having her daughter, again she recovered and is doing well in life.  It is not the end of the world and you can recover.  Please face up to this before it gets any worse.  You deserve to feel better

[LeftCoastChick]

First question, was there a trauma or action that set this off? You said you went from king to erm "scum". What happened? I'm guessing that you went from High School doing really well, and then hit college where no one knows you. That can be stress on any person. If you are predisposed to depression it can make it worse.You are a bit cryptic, maybe some more clarity could help you a bit more. Regardless, seeing a therapist and talking to your family doctor is very important.

[birdie0907]

What kind of school are you going to?

When was your first case of depression?

You are young, so there is lots of life to live, if you can get this depression under control.

Write back, and give some more details. People here would like to help you.