suppressed memory

[lindaschooley]

I would like to know if something never happen and someone is made to believe it did and she has had a lot of mental issues she starts writing things in a diary that are not true can she have a suppressed memory thinking someone actually did something to her when in fact they did not. This is a question on someone being sexually molested so she says but she has a lot of mental health issues now they are saying its a suppressed memory but we know for sure people have told her things that are not true and she actually believes it now and is accussing someone of something bad and which could be damaging to another person how is one to defend themselfs against suppressed memorys i know there are guys in prison and its been proven who were accused of something but thanks to dna have been freed. Is this suppressed memory thing some one putting things in an unstable persons mind who after awhile thinks its true .

[mammo]

She's lucky to have you, good luck to all of you.

[lindaschooley]

Thanks for helping me to decide and to help her get the help she needs i just have heard so much on this and am just not sure what needs to be done i am suggesting they take her to a good therapist or someone who maybe can help her get to it. I am more concerned about her emotional well being since she seems to have a lot of mental issues maybe all of this can be helped by a good therapist or someone she can trust and her parents can trust thanks for all the information .

[mammo]

Suppressed memory is real, don't be fooled thinking it isn't.  If you are talking about sexual abuse, even today 1 out of every 3 families has a child/children being sexually abused.  Yeah, you wouldn't think a father or brother would do this, but they do, and children do "suppress" what has happened to them as a way to get away from it.  It's a very difficult thing for a child to deal with, they feel they are at fault, and just want to forget about it.  Sexual abuse is difficult to prove, and there has never been a man locked up on just heresay.  If a man was sent to prison for molesting a child, there was proof! It can be a father (most often) a brother, uncle,grandfather or family friend, but someone she trusted. Professionals can get to the bottom of it all and get the truth.  I'm betting this girl's "mental issues" are a result of the abuse she is claiming.  Don't be too quick to dismiss her claims, it would be a great injustice to her and her emotional well being.  You need to get professionals involved to evaluate the whole situation, and they will figure out what is true and what is not.  Let them handle this, not a bunch of lay people.

[whodunnit]

Suppressed memory theroies were a fad some 20 years ago. People were told they had suppressed memories by essentiually quack counsellors and they believed it as it was a wave of "new theory" at the time. Many actually did not have repressed memory at all but families, particularly fathers lives were destroyed by it.

Apart from that period though it is highly possible and as others say it usually occurs when someone is very young and they create alternate realities to escape the pain.

In the end though it is rare that the person can not recall any of it once evidence has been presented. As Mammo said, in time it became something she knew. Very sadly so but truth is needed to recover.

You cannot tell if it's true or not unless you were there when it is supposed to have happened.

I'm not sure why it's an issue for you but really all you can do is tell her she needs to know if it's real or not. It will be there in her memory if it's real and a good doc will help that come out.

[lindaschooley]

No i am not asking for legal advise i am curious as this is an older girl who has had a lot of emotional issues but its being pushed that its a surpressed memory she was in her teens and now in her twentys so i am curious if there is no defense against it how do we know its true i am trying to understand how this came up and what can be done for it and what help can she get to help herself is everyone suppose to just let things go and it gets worse or what can be done/

[mammo]

It depends on the age of the child, young children cannot make this stuff up.  I was a victim of rape when I was only 5, totally forgot about it until I was well into my 20's and then it hit me like a speeding train. It was then verified by my mother. Plus, her mental problems may be the result of this abuse!  Things that happen in our childhood are normally the cause for anxiety, and depression in later years.  We suppress things that hurt us, but it always comes back, and usually with a vengeance.  There is no defense against "suppressed memory" as the memory is real and just now being realized.

[ILADVOCATE]

There's controversy over that issue and it mostly came up in regarding children who are vulnerable to any ideas suggested to them. Yes of course if someone has a psychiatric disability that causes a lack of reality testing they are more likely to believe something that's untrue but the issue you are discussing is more complex and if the person needs assistance that is one thing but if you are seeking legal advice regarding what you believe to be false charges against a person you know and how to contest it would be best to go on a discussion forum as regards legal issues or seek an in person consultation with a lawyer.