emotional support

[ziggystardust]

When do you know when to let go. I have posted a couple of times with no responses. My beloved ginger who I found 9 years ago sitting on the steps of my hospital  and has been my faithful companion and also her other dog buddies has been diagnosed with chronic renal failure in May 09. I have tried everything to slow the progression of her disease from acupuncture to traditional medicine and have tried every food on earth including dog ice cream to colostrum to baby food to raw . you name it. The past week she was only taking small bites of treats and not even this now despite being on appetite stimulants and anti nausea medication. She is skin and bones. She receives sub q intravenous fluids each night. Although she appears to enjoy lying outside she is no longer interacting with her other pals,Her bark is weak and she is lethargic.When do you know when to let them go.It is agonizing and heart breaking. They say the focus is quality of life and yes she still like to be pet and hugged by us and go outside but she is not eating for two days and she is irritable with the other dogs. Her head is also tremulous.I am open to any advise or emotional support. with my otehr dogs it was so clear when to let them go

[jacjoemax]

That is one of the most difficult decisions we can make, when is the right time to let go. I agree with April2's comment and want to further state that I just put my beloved Ronin, a 6 year old retriever mix down November of last year. When you have emotions running so deeply, sometimes you have to step back and determine if your baby is suffering. If you feel that they still have quality of life and are not in pain, by all means wait. If there is no quality and your baby is suffering and in pain (you will know), it is the hardest, but I believe the most humane thing that we can do, all the while knowing that they did not suffer at the expense of us not wanting to let go.
God bless, I hope this helps a little...Jacki

[April2]

If she's still wagging her tail and coming to people then it may not be time yet. She's showing interest still in her surroundings.
I knew it was time with my dog when he stopped eating and drinking and was just laying around. He had been slowly eating less and losing weight over the months (he had Cushings) but those last couple of days he stopped all together. He started getting bloody diarrhea, which freaked me out. It all happened so fast. He went downhill real fast. I agonized over what to do and I remembered someone telling me to look in their eyes and they will tell you when it's time. I looked in his eyes and they looked tired and sick, miserable, in fact. I was shocked. I scooped him up, cuddled him for awhile and took him to the vet and had them put him to sleep. It was the hardest thing I've ever done but he went so gently and quickly. I knew he wasn't suffering anymore. Yes, it's the hardest thing I've done but I couldn't be selfish and hang on to him when he was obviously suffering.
You will know when it's time. Your dog will let you know. I'm so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time. *Hugs*
April

[ziggystardust]

once again thank you for the words of wisdom and support.it is so difficult to decide .yes she is not eating like she used to and now is starting to vomit once daily. however she still trots over to greet the neighbors next door and even take a treat from them and when  family comes to visit she comes out wagging her tail. it is so hard to make the decision.

[katew888]

"when my dog's life is no fun anymore,  when they have lost their dignity, when I look in their eyes and see the need for relief... then its time."  

Well put, Dr. Humphries.

[Jim Humphries, B.S., D.V.M.]

Hi Ziggy:  

I also know how you feel.  I've gone through this many with all my own dogs and cats and very recently with a horse.  It is SO hard every single time.  I've also lost several human family members and the pain and grief are the same for me with my animals.  

I could speak to this as a veterinarian.  But I want to comment as a pet owner - this way I can be pet owner to pet owner and leave science behind.  

My gut tells me this:  when my dog's life is no fun anymore,  when they have lost their dignity, when I look in their eyes and see the need for relief... then its time.  

that is not scientific, but I've done this many times and I am comfortable and at peace with my decision.  

You could go further and say:  when they can't move without pain, when they can't move away from their feces or urine, when they are in pain at rest, when it is a struggle to get through a day etc...  But I think you get the idea.  It is a judgment call only you can make because you know her best - and she you.  This gives you guys a special communication that even a doctor's degree can't override.  

Heroic measures medically, nutritionally, physically are really more for us and not them - if you could ask.  We cannot ask them, but the things I describe above are my way of "asking them" Is It Time? and I'll see you again very soon...there is no need for you to suffer anymore.  

This was especially hard for me to do recently with a beautiful 24 year old show horse.  horses are so majestic and proud and regal, and to see them suffering, hurting and giving up is devastating.  You can see her Memorial I posted at PetDocsOnCall.com.  It was healing for me to post pictures of her and let others know how special she was.  

There are not many other words I can say to you other than those of us out here know what you are going through.  Remember, because YOU have the special relationship with her it is your decision and I believe she will let you know.  

[peggy64]

It is of my opinion that when/if the time is right, you will know, and there will be no doubting. I guess what I am saying is as long as you are doubting, after it is over you would be blaming yourself because you did not truly believe she was ready.

Ask yourself if you are more miserable watching her be miserable and if this is causing some of your discomfort. I had to do that with my dog, and I discovered that I was just uncomfortable because there was a problem that I just could not fix. I am not saying that that is you, just giving you something to ponder.

It is a hard place to be, thats for sure....