What causes a miscarriage like this?

[lori0615]

I had a natural miscarriage at around 16 weeks. What causes something like that to happen? I'm still so upset about it and it's been almost a year and a half.

Now I'm trying again to get pregnant but I'm scared that this will happen again.

[SueGre]

Hi Lori,

I'm the Sue that Tina mentioned. We lost our little boy at 20 weeks due to a rare chromosomal problem and fetal hydrops. Our RE said usually when there is a genetic flaw a miscarriage will happen around 6 weeks. She was amazed that our baby lived for so long.

Please please please don't blame yourself in any way for this. You did nothing wrong. You loved your baby as we loved ours and only wanted him/her to grow and be healthy and strong.

We lost our baby on August 3, 2007 and it still hurts a lot sometimes. We miss him and will never forget him or ever stop loving him. Even my DH cries for him still. The pain of this kind of loss is very deep. I was hysterical at bedtime for months and months and it was really excruciating. My DH said that we had to find a way to close this chapter, say goodbye, and move on. I pleaded with him with tears streaming down my cheeks to tell me how to do this and I would do it.

So we decided to have a ceremony. The next day we took out all of Aidan's ultrasounds, and a picture of our cat, who died 3 weeks to the date after the baby, lit a candle and said our goodbyes. It helped a lot, yet it still hurts sometimes, especially every time we get a BFN.

Please know it's okay that you still feel sad. If you think this may be interfering in your life in any way you may want to consider talking to someone. Some hospitals hold groups for people that have lost babies/children. I think some of the groups are specific to miscarriage. I don't know where you live, but check out the major hospitals in your area and ask around.

Also, if you want to talk, I'm here. I really really know what you're going through. It really helps a lot to be out here and to know we are not alone.

Hugs,

~Sue

[lori0615]

It's been a year and a half and feels like forever.

[tina1111]

Every woman that has a mc or still birth blames themselves. It is a normal reaction. No, there is nothing you could have done to change things. ((hugs))

[lori0615]

I feel better just knowing it's not my fault. I felt like it was my fault that it happened.

[tina1111]

Growing slow is a sign of chromosome issues. It usually happens early on. But, sometimes the body doesn't realize there is a problem until later then it tries to "correct" it. I am sorry you went so far to have that happen. It's not fair :(

[EAnthes]

could be something chromosomal.  I would make them investigate.

[lori0615]

They said they could not really tell. I saw a heart beat 3 time than went in again after I started bleeding and they said there was no heart beat. The old thing is that they said it was growing slow. Plus I'm a big girl so it's hard to see.

I have has one easy pregnancy. No problems.

[tina1111]

At 16wks, I would think they would have given you a reason. No? If not, there could be many reasons. One being chromosomal. Poor Sue lost her little one at 20wks due to genetics. I lost mine at 12wks from Placenta Previa and too much lifting. It's really impossible to say what caused yours. I can't believe they did not tell you why. That is just wrong.

[Sri83]

Hi Lori,
I have not read much about miscarriages, but i can say u one thing,,if u conceived naturally and this happened, i say u better consult a doctor and say them that u want a healthy nine months pregnancy, so dont put me trial, Just give all the extra safety medicine and explain ur state of mind too,,,,
iam sorry about ur sad experiences,,,