Nobody seems to understand

[jnabradford]

I am 26 and am re-married to a wonderful man. Three years ago, and after I gave birth to my third baby boy, I made a decision to have my tubes tied. My OB doctor at the time cauterized my tubes and told me the procedure was not reversible. Basically I would never be able to conceive a child ever again. Well, at the time, I was going through a nasty divorce with the father of my three boys and the thought of ever having children again was just not an option. My ex put me through pure hell with every pregnancy, emotional abuse, and even sometimes physical. Long story short, I finally got the nerve to leave him and start a new life. Two years later I met the man I am married to today and it was nothing short of a miracle. He is amazing, and has accepted my three boys as his own and loves all of unconditionally. He has never been married nor has he ever had children of his own. When we were dating, I made it very clear to him that I couldn't have kids, and he told me he was fine with that. Well has time went on and after we were married we started talking about it more and more and I started to regret my decision for a tubal ligation.  Here is this man who has given me and my boys the world and I wasn't able to give him a child. I want so bad to share that special bond with him. He deserves that and I know he would be such an awesome father. He loves my boys just as they were his own, but the boys father is still actively involved in their life and so it's just really not the same. So about 8 weeks ago, we started with our first IVF cycle. It's kinda ironic for me because in the past it seemed like everytime we had an "accident" I came up pregnant. I can't imagine having actual fertility problems and my heart goes out to all of you women who are tyring to get pregnant. We had or ET yesterday and our anxiously waiting for a PG test. We only transferred one fresh embryo that was a grade C. I am just leaving the rest up to God. He knows our situation and what we need. Although this process has been an emotional rollercoaster. Any insight would be helpful. I am wondering if I have a higher chance of just one embryo implanting since I have never had fertility problems in the past. Thanks to all who have read this..

[jnabradford]

They see him every other weekend. I'm not going to deny that abuse is abuse, the abuse was more emotional than anything. There were a few times when screaming matches got out of control and he would push me. There were no fist throws or anything really crazy. BUT I'm not discounting shoving as physical abuse either. Maybe I should have been more specific. I just don't think any man or woman for that matter should lay their hand on their spouse out of anger. He's not a crazy person, just very short tempered and hot headed. I do worry about my boys at times and him losing his temper with them, but we've already been through the court system and for now these are the arrangements the judge as set out. I just place them in God's hands everytime they go. Anyways, thanks for your feedback.

[AnnieBrooke]

You might have a higher chance because you have had children.  Women who have had successful pregnancies can get pregnant again more easily.  You are saying the boys are still in contact with a man who abused you when you were pregnant?  What kind of protections are in place for the boys?