not going to give up

[bunmaff]

well, today I was able to test, day 15 after iui, I posted a few times when I could test, I guess I was looking for feed back to help me convince myself it happened....My instincts were telling me otherwise. I appreciate all the advice, my friends and family have been really supportive but I feel like everyone one on this sight really understands...the ups and downs, the hope and disappointment...I tested at like 5:30 in the am...I couldn't wait..while my DH is sleeping, he's still sleeping...my heart is so heavy because I have to tell him when he wakes up...bummer right. Anyway, we have to go to a wedding by NYC tonight, it's going to be very exciting and fun were staying the night so my DH can indulge..and now me too! I haven't had a drink in forever, not that we drink alot, but we sure could use a fun night.I had terrible sight affects this month from the meds this time, I'm wondering if it has to do with my age. ( I'm forty), I don't look or feel forty but fact of the matter is I am...Anyway the whole point of my early AM blog is.....Eventhough it gets harder each time it doesn't work, my heart will not let me give up! We'll try again, and again and again until it works, I can't let the negative stuff takeover...A child is a gift, a blessing....something worth all the hardship that I'm going through...giving up is a not an option. It's easier to give up than continue to try. I hope anyone who's reading this knows that you're not alone in this journey and there is always hope. Now I'm done crying and feeling sad, I'm going to start my day in a positive, because that's what I need to do. It's a new day..day one. -bunny

[Tanker Chic]

Hey girl. I logged on specifically to look for a post from you.  I'm sorry it worked out this way... but I'm really glad you are going to keep trying.  Sometimes it just takes longer, especially over 35.  It is a crooked winding road, but you will get there.  Enjoy your party and try to put it out of your mind for the evening.  

Sorry hon.. but you could still be just two short weeks from conception!!!  

[robyn53]

WOW and WOW... Well girl you have a nice time in NYC. I am also 40 and look 30 (people tell me anyhow) so I get it. I just had our first failed IVF this past week so I get you. Since this did not work this time I ran to the panera and hada big chocolate cookie, yesterday drank iced tea from starbucks and ate sushi for dinner. Please live itup in NYC. you deserve it.
be good to you and this will all happen for you both.