so scared for tomorrow's ultrasound

[ALT76]

I'm a mess. I tried to go back to work today, and it ended in me running out sobbing and going home.  I work at a busy coffee shop, and there is no room for personal things to get you down at that job.  I thought going back would distract me from the situation at hand, but instead I was getting bad cramps and felt like I could start bleeding any second - and that was distracting me from work.  It's such an upsetting and heartbreaking situation to be in.  Not knowing what's going on in there and if and when I will miscarry.

So tomorrow is my second u/s, and I will be 7wks 1day.  HOPEFULLY something will show up by then or else I really will start to abandon all hope.  Although just this morning I talked to my good friend's mom (my friend is going through something similar) and she said that someone from work that she knew was told the same thing - had HCG through the roof so they swore since nothing had showed up on the u/s it was a blighted ovum, but they did one last u/s when she went in for the D&C at 8 wks and there was the baby - beating heart and all!  And she went on to have a healthy pregnancy.

I just think all these stupid doctors want to put every pregnancy in a neat little box and say - OK, your levels are this, it should look like this on an u/s.  Or you are this far along, it should look like this.  But it doesn't surprise me that this happens ALL THE TIME.  It's the HUMAN BODY!  You're making a freakin baby!  Why are there so many variations in women's HCG levels who all can go on to have healthy pregnancies with differnences in the tens of thousands?  Because not everyone is the same!  I have read countless stories now - even a very clinical article where the woman's HCG was in the 120,000's and nothing showed up on an u/s - and the baby showed up at 8 wks!  One woman I read about was being told to have the D&C and her baby showed up at NINE weeks!  That's just crazy.  I'm not saying that's the norm - but I do think it was a little early at 6wks 1 day for my doctor to get me so worked up about not seeing anything.  

So I'm still holding out some hope, but the wait is killing me and I think if nothing shows up tomorrow I will only hold out about a 5% chance that something will show up in the following week.  Who knows - maybe I'll show up tomorrow and there my baby will be!  Beating heart and all!  Like I said, I've read tons of stories where it happens.  Until then though....I wait in agony

[mlb1234]

Best of luck - I hope its good news too!

[Miranda9]

I'm just reading your post right now and I am praying that you see your baby today.

[ALT76]

appt is at 1:00

I didn't sleep much at all last night.  Slept from 1-4 solid then in and out til 5 then I got out of bed and went back to bed at 8:30 this morning and woke up every hour til 11:30  

I hope it's good news

[SueGre]

Keeping very good positive thoughts for you and your little one.

[kmcarino]

I will be thinking of you today and praying for your little baby.  I hope you see a nice strong heart beat today.  We saw an empty sac at 5 weeks 5 days and at 6 weeks five days we saw the heartbeat!  I hope this happens for you too!  What time is your u/s?

[ita17]

I totally agree w/what you said;)  DON'T loose hope!!!!  

[usuk]

praying for you. now you relax and assume all is well!!!!!

[mommyin10]

Oh, I'm praying for a beautiful little heartbeat tomorrow!  I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult, stressful time.  Hang in there til tomorrow.  I'm praying that all's well for you & your dh =)

[Quinns momma]

Thinking of you in this stressful time. Fingers crossed that all is well. :)

[scienceteacher79]

I am praying extra extra hard for you! Please let us know as soon as possible. Good luck and think as positively as possible!! POSITVE VIBES COMING AT YOU!!!

[ilovemyson23]

I READ YOUR COMMENT I HAVENT READ ALL YOUR HISTORY BUT I GOT PREGO OFF CLOMID AND BOTH TIMES THEY WERE CALLED A CHEMICAL PREGNANCY BUT THE SECOND ONE WAS HARD BECAUSE MY HCG LEVEL WAS NORMAL BUT NO BABY ON THE ULTRA SOUND AND THEN I WENT BACK AND MY HCG HAD DROPPED AND ABOUT 4 DAYS LATER I STARTED TO BLEED. I REALLY HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU AND GOD KNOW THAT WHEN WE WOMEN GET THE BABY BUG ITS A VERY EMOTIONAL TIME WHEN YOU CANT JUST UP AND HAVE A BABY. BUT I THINK THE BEST THING THAT YOU CAN DO IS TO TRY TO RELAX AND TAKE IT EASY. FIND SOMETHING TO DO OTHER THEN THINKING ABOUT BECOMING PREGNANT. ME AND MY HUSBAND STOPPED TRYING FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS AND NOW WE ARE GONNA TRY OVULATION TEST AGAIN AND ITS FRUSTRATING BUT IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT I WISH THE BEST OF LUCK TO YOU