How do you TTC without 'trying'?

[amy0013]

I know everyone says not to 'try' when TTC because it puts too much pressure/stress...I just don't know HOW to do that!  How is it NOT always in the back of your mind?  I am so 'aware' of my body and the changes it goes through during a cycle.  I guess my bigger concern in my relationship is the amount of BD we do each month.  It's MINIMAL. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful marriage...just not frequent BD.  If we only do it 2-3 times per month usually...how can you NOT be trying when you're making an effort to BD on certain fertile days?  I could understand if we BD 2-3 times per WEEK because then you're bound to hit your fertile days without effort...but we're not like that.  I TRIED to hide my OPK last month so DH wouldn't feel the added 'pressure' but he saw it in the trash.  UGH...any ideas on how to try without trying?  I'm sure my added stress hasn't helped our TTC difficulties but any advice would be appreciated.  Also, BECAUSE we don't do it very often...when it is 'fertile' time and I'm hopeful to BD 2-3 times it can't always happen because DH can't 'perform'.  Will increasing our BD on a regular basis help build up his stamina, etc?

I am not out of the running yet this cycle (neg test at 12DPO today) BUT I am grateful that I made it to 12 days without the start of AF!  I had been dealing with short luteal phase issues so I'm THRILLED to have 12+ day luteal phase...just wish I could have the BFP to go along with it!

[vmvnpv]

I hate when people tell us to relax and stop trying.  We're trying to have a baby so how can you not try?  I also hate when people say "I just relaxed and kept my mind off of it and then I got pg!"  Good for you.  It doesn't happen that way for everyone.  :-/  So just wanted you to know you're not alone.  I hope you get that BFP though!  Baby dust to you!

[wanting4#1]

"Try without trying" - that's the million dollar question and the one that I typically throw back at those bold enough to tell me to 'relax'! :)

I wish that there were some magic words of advice to give you, but this really is the same plight that most everyone on here is dealing with! I don't think that there is a way to let it go, etc. But I do try to do things like acupuncture and spa treatments to help me relax. I also try to go out with friends who can make me laugh so that there are times that it just isn't on my mind!

I hope this helps (a bit) and I hope hat you have success this cycle!