Just want to give up!

[mnkyluvr68]

Hi everyone, it has been quite a while since I've been on the forum. I didn't know where else to go because it just seems like NO ONE understands. I was diagnosed about 3 years ago. I take Cymbalta, fentanyl, xanax, flexeril, and ambien.

I am so tired of feeling like this. I don't know how much more I can take. I hurt all the time, the anxiety and panic attacks are daily now, heart palpitations, dizziness, headaches, body aches, skin hurts to the touch, brain fog and I'm exhausted all the time! Just to name a few LOL (if I don't laugh I'll never stop crying).

If I'm with friends or family I just smile and pretend everything is OK. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, I don't want to be a burden, I don't want to be the "complainer" or worse, hear that all too familiar saying " you look fine to me"! There is no way for me to explain to them how I feel, they just don't get it. I'm tired of pretending and I'm tired of feeling like my life is over.

I'm sorry, I know each and every one of you hurt every day too, I just need to vent and get this out.

I lost my job of 7 years last month due to an injury. I didn't heal from the surgery so they let me go. My doc says the Fibro hindered my recovery.

I had been on an intermittent FMLA leave prior to losing my job. I was working full time but missing about 8 hrs a week due to Fibro. I think they just found their excuse to legally let me go. Honestly, I knew I wouldn't last much longer working but would have preferred leaving to be my choice. Not sure what to do now, I'm scared. I know I can't hold down a regular job, the FMLA was the only thing that saved me.

I'm just at the end of my rope and don't know what else I can do. Nothing seems to help. My RA is understanding but just wants to keep prescribing meds that don't work. My other Docs look at me like 'I'm some kind of nut. I want my life back!!!

Thank you all for letting me unload here. I had to get it off my chest and at least feel like someone heard me.

Hoping you're having a better day =) Thanks again!






I can't sleep, even with the sleeping pills, if I do finally fall asleep I wake up constanly and am so tired I stay in bed most of the day.

[jessica530]

I know how you feel. Every time I try and explain what I'm experiencing and what this disease does, people look at me like I'm crazy or I'm lying about the pain or something. I have a lot of trouble with my hands right now, I get tingling/numbing sensations all the time now. I can't stand for a long period of time so any jobs around here are out of the question. You are right about having to keep laughing, I have to do the same thing.

[SuperSunny]

Something I found EXREMLY useful in helping my family and firends understand what fibro is and how it can make someone feel is printing out/e-mailing/reading out loud  various medical articles that were easy to understand and fairly short.  I am sure you have already done that... but letting them "learn" about it from a different source (other than you) can me quite impactful.
Best!

[nana68]

I thought I was the only one for a minute.I am not any medicine for it yet but I don't know if I want the medicine if it doesn't really work anyway.do you have strange sensations everywhere along with the pain?My left toes get numb and my feet tighten.I have daily neck and chest pain.I feel like the grinch and oscar the grouch somedays then others I am a basket case.My skin feels like someone kicked me even though they just touched me and my throat and tounge get sore yet every time I see a doctor they can't find a reason for any of it and my family thinks that I should be able to run around with the kids and go bowling and other things they don't understand the pain.

[mnkyluvr68]

Thank you both so much. I'm sorry you have gone through similar situations.

I'm still struggling today. I catch myself talking when no one is around LOL, asking myself "what happened to me", "how did you let this happen to yourself", "how did I get to such an awful place"...usually happens after I get up, can't sleep or look in the mirror! Have to keep laughing I guess.

I hope you find some relief, although I am grateful not to have to go through this alone, it makes me so sad that so many of us are in such pain and so miserable!

[ChristineMP]

I feel so much for you. I've been there...done that. I was laid off from a job that I LOVED. I was earning 2/3 of our income at the time and ended up not being able to get permanent disability (my doctor of 3 years literally disappeared with my records and I had private disability insurance and could not find the doctor and meet the deadline). We nearly lost our home (thankfully we were able to sell it, but the market was good then).

Just know that this to shall pass. Things will get better (((gentle hugs)))

[SuperSunny]

You said it!  I feel the exact same way!  I am just about to lose my job b/c my manager is tired of my occasional health issues (I am applying for FMLA now, but she has already contacted Legal about her "options."   I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and doing the best I can in the meantime.  If I lose my current income, I will lose my home!
You are not alone in your feelings.  I "fake" it through the day only to get home and fall apart.  Very sad for my husband.  I am losing friends b/c I never feel like doing anything.  
I have tried EVERY medication in existence for Fibro/chronic pain and none of them work.  
It is a very difficult life to live, but we must be strong!!!!
I am trying mindful meditation (learning about it at least).  
My advice, which I TRY to follow, is to CELEBRATE LIFE EVERY DAY!   The moment you feel a spark of happiness, GRAB IT and run with it - call a friend, have a glass of wine, dance!  Our happiness is buried so deep under the deadness of pain...When it sparks, take advantage of it.  
If you do return to work, ask your doctor about NUVIGIL for your daytime tiredness.  I works!!   Almost too well.
I wish you the best.
Sunny