Can someone please help me?
I'm having problems with my bowels and anus. Please don't judge, but several years ago, I began experimenting with anal sex, using toys while masturbating. Everything went fine for a while, and then one day something happened. At the time, I wasn't sure what; I just knew that suddenly I was having a very hard time going to the bathroom. After a while, straining to pass feces caused other things to go wrong. I could no longer empty my anus; little bits of stuff would stay in there, so that no matter how hard I wiped, things would not come clean. I would have to poke a finger up there in the shower to fix the problem.
I didn't stop using anal toys then, because I thought it was a temperary thing. Eventually, I noticed two things: that something was wrong, and that everytime I played with my butt, things changed. Sometimes things got better, sometimes worse. Because anal play had done it in the first place, and because, as I said, things sometimes got better (by comparison, I still had trouble passing stool, and I still had to use my finger), I continued using anal devices, attempting to fix whatever I'd done to myself. I think that when things first went wrong, I tore something inside my bowels, messed up my rectum.
After a while, passing stuff got easier, but everyday after pooping I'd have to shower. Like an idiot, I didn't stop, or seek medical advice. I kept hoping (deluding myself) that perhaps things might get a bit better if I did it again. Recently, I attempted to fix myself again, and something really went wrong. Things hurt during the process itself, and I had terrible diarrhea for two weeks afterward. Now my anus is leaking. I think I tore something severly.
I'm young. Is this fixable? I can't tell you how uncomfortable (and embarassing) this situation is. Can this be fixed with surgery? How effectively?
Thank you.