Help me...please!

[LostCat]

help me please. i am losing my mind and i am scared to death. i can barely function and the panic attacks are so bad that i wanna crawl out of my body and be somewhere else. my mom died unexpectedly on december 23rd, 2005 after complications from a routine surgical proceedure. she was my closest friend and i miss her so much. she went into the hospital in perfect health and came out dead. i was 31 when she died. i moved my hubby and kids home to help care for my dad and MRDD, 77 year old uncle (who had a heart attack 6 mos after my mom died...but i managed to save him by calling 911)...anyway...i took on all of the "business" end of things and kept trying to shut out thoughts about my mother's death. the doc had me on prozac and ativan...i kept busy and didn't grieve at all....i felt bad, i obsessed, but i never really went thru the "stages" i guess. now, 2 years later i am diabetic with high triglycerides and now all i do is have panic attacks, which i *think* are heart attacks...but they said my heart was fine...and they have me on 1mg xanax 4x/day plus 20mg of Prozac...i am worse since starting the prozac. i can barely function at ALL...and my thoughts are really obsessive and consumed by fear of death...sometimes i cannot separate one thought from another...it's like a big mushpot of terrifying thoughts...and the muscles in between my shoulder blades tighten up really bad..then it runs up thru my neck to my head....then i start thinking i am having a stroke (i have high BP that is controlled well with meds) and then my blood feels like it is on fire and i flush and i start to think that i am dying...and i can't get it to stop. ALLLL i want is for this to stop. I just can't take another single day of this! PLEASE! Someone help me! please.please. i can't even handle being in the same room as my kids because their voices alone can send me into an instant attack....i am seriously losing it and i need direction and help. I was adopted at birth, so there are already abandonment issues in play, and my husband abuses vicodin...so i really can't figure out what to do or where to go...i have NO support people in my life and i can't deal with anything anymore....i need something...i just don't know what.

[Jaybay]

Aint_it_Fun is absolutely correct about dealing with a panic attack when it first starts.  Why it never occurred to me to see it that way on my own still makes me laugh.  It took my therapist to point it out, and I thought, "Well, duh!"  :-)  I can usually stop it one in its tracks now by stopping what I'm doing, and focusing on my breathing.  Nice slow, deep, controlled breaths.  A panic attack is just the "fight or flight" response that we all instinctually have in us.  Part of that process includes a big shot of adrenaline which causes the increased heart rate and hyperventillation.  We get dizzy and pass out from a panic attack because we aren't getting enough oxygen.  Once we pass out, the body has a chance to regulate itself, breathing slows down, the adrenaline quits pumping, and once good oxygen content is restored, we wake up in a few seconds or minutes.  

If you can't get your breathing under control, get a small paper bag and breathe into it until you calm down.  One of my biggest triggers is driving over bridges.  Yes, I have a real phobia about it and it got to where I was terrified to drive outside my city where I could avoid known problem spots.  I finally brought it up to my pain psychologist and she really helped me to avoid the whole panic spiral before it got to the point of passing out.  There isn't a magic pill or bullet that will shut down the fight or flight response, but with work, controlling your breathing becomes automatic.  I still get stressed driving over bridges, but at least I can now do so without fear of crashing my car or harming another driver.

[Heather3418]

I happen to know that the Anxiety Forum here on MedHelp is on of the best on the Internet.  They are a great group over there, that offer so much comfort and understanding.  Suzi-q offers you some good advice, to help you sort all of this out.

A therapist can be a life saver in these situations.  It also helps to know that there are others that understand and can relate.

You are never alone....lean on others and let people into your life that can truly understand your feelings.

Big (((HUGS))) to you....and good luck,
Heather

[eddie1]

I have panic attacks,  every day.  I find the best way to deal with them is to think about a place or an activity that you would like to be/or doing and it helps a little

good luck

[suzi-q]

Try posting on the Anxiety forum.  They may be able to help you more with your questions.  Also, you should seek a professional immediately...You should not have to feel this way...have you considered a grief counselor?  Seems like a lot of bottled up emotions and fears.

[Aint_It_Fun]

Dude i have panic attacks to and i get that fire blood feeling. Best thing to do about the panic attacks is try to over power them. Panic attacks are like a small snowball at the top of a snowy peak. you might notice them sitting there but if you push them off the edge they just get bigger and bigger. In regular words if you notice those pesky symptoms coming on....just try to really flex it off and tell yourself its not real. take a few deep concentrated breaths and try to relax. Otherwise if you think on it it gets worse and worse hence the snowball effect.

[jml1986]

Honey you need to get to a therapist fast. You are in major overload. It is clear that your medication is not the right one for you, so I am sure they would change that. But you also need someone to help you deal with the continued crazyness that you life is in. The most important thing you need to know is that you are not doing anyone any good by not taking care of yourself. If you are currently seeing a therapist, get a different one, because yours is not doing the job.

I have walked in your shoes and thank god I knew I had to get help and I refused to give up until I found the right one.

I am here for you if you need to talk. Talking for me has been a blessing. It may make some people uncomfortable but I decided I could worry about that. My dad passed away suddenly 8 years ago and I was not sure I would make it through it or even if I wanted to. I started having panic attacks and went into a deep depression. I was not a good person to live with. My husband was an alcoholic and my mom was trying to deal with herself getting through it. So, when it first happened, I went in to this person that took care of business but didn't deal with my own grief. About six months later is when it bowled me over and I was just unable to deal with it on my own.

You can get better and by logging on here, it proves you want to. So please see a therapist and then if you need to talk about things, pop on and I will be happy to talk with you.