All we can do is quote the odds; an online forum has no other way to address someone's fears and anxieties. By the way, It's 1 in 20,000, not 10,000 -- and some experts believe nobody ever catches HIV by receiving a **. And the odds are your partner didn't have HIV, so your actual risk probably is closer to 1 in a million. Could you be "the one"? Sure. You also could get hit by lightning. (If you live in North America, death by lightning is statistically a lot more likely than catching HIV by oral sex.)
You have repeatedly saught reassurance about STD/HIV risks on this and the STD prevention forum for 2-3 years. As the saying goes, if you can't stand the heat, you should consider getting out of the kitchen. If you're going to be so anxious despite all objective evidence of little or no risk, I suggest you stop the activity or use condoms.
Regards-- HHH, MD
Well said , this was my only mistake in the last 3 years. Thanks again