Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question. Bottom line: there is virtually no chance you have HIV.
Like many people today, you have some basic misunderstandings about HIV frequency and the risks of sexual transmission. First, it is statistically unlikely a woman like your partner has HIV -- under one chance in 1,000 and more likely 1 in 10,000 or lower. Second, if a woman has HIV, the average HIV transmission risk is once for every 2,000 episodes of unprotected vaginal sex. That's why many spouses of HIV infected persons remain free of infection even after months or years of unprotected sex. (I'll be you didn't know that.) Taken together, the combined odds calculate as 1 chance in 2 million to 20 million that you caught HIV.
As for your symptoms, they are not typical of HIV, despite what you think you have learned by looking on line or elsewhere. See this thread from earlier today, my blog-like follow-up comment: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1752305
; You have actually put your finger on the probable cause; and whenever a person suggests his or her own symptoms have a psychological origin, usually s/he is correct.
But the important question is mine for you: why haven't you had an HIV test? Presumably you haven't been tested or you would have said so. Do it now. Enough time has passed for reliable results (see http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1704700
), and the negative result will probably reassure you a lot more than reassurance based on probability and statistics. This doesn't mean I believe you really were at risk; I do not. The reason for testing is strictly for reassurance.
Feel free to return with a follow-up comment to let me know the result after you have been tested for HIV. Until then, let's not have any "yes but" or "are you sure" questions. There is nothing you can add that would change my opinion or advice. You can be very, very confident you don't have HIV.
I hope this has been reassuring. Best regards-- HHH, MD