Welcome to the forum.
First, your "why would she admit" comment: in fact, it is rare for people to lie about their HIV status when asked directly -- and that includes sex workers. And in the US and other industrialized, it is the rare sex worker who has HIV -- despite what you might assume. Second, with condom-protected vaginal and oral sex, you were not at risk; even if your partner were infected, you definitely could not have caught HIV and probably no other STD.
Third, your symptoms do not suggest a new HIV infection. The symptoms themselves are wrong, since back pain, stomach pain and other gastrointestinal symptoms usually are not part of the picture, and acute HIV infection almost always has significant fever. The timing also is wrong; 4 weeks is too late for HIV (generally 10-20 days). There are several potential causes for blood in urine, but STDs and HIV are not among them.
Clearly you are stressed and anxious, but that wouldn't cause most of the symptoms you describe. However, the symptoms clearly have nothing to do with the sexual exposure 6 weeks ago. If they persist, or if bloody urine recurs, return to your doctor for reevaluation. But you should not be at all worried about HIV or other STDs.
As for the stress/anxiety, if this persists, also discuss this with your doctor then follow his or her advice if s/he suggests professional counseling.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Hi, thank you for the quick response, very helpful to me. I just have a couple of quick follow up questions.
1) Everything you said makes sense to me. I thought that the 4 week symptoms after was not related to HIV either but I saw websites that refer to the acute period as being between 3-6 weeks? Are those websites incorrect?
2) Also, after my my first symptom after four weeks (the stomach pain), I may have had a fever the first few days as I did not start taking my temperature until 3 days after the initial stomach pain - I did feel hot. Would that change your risk analysis?
3) Would your opinion change at all if the condom broke during sex? I don't think it did but I've never experienced a broken condom so I don't know what to look out for - how would you know, would it be completely exposed or could there be unexpected holes in the condom or an expired condom?
4) With the white tongue, it is whiter in the back of my tongue and the whiteness scrapes off if I use a brush - no blood. There are however tiny red dots on the back of the tongue like someone took a red pen and dotted my tongue a bunch of times (I am not referring to the normal big taste buds in a V shape). Is that a sign of any STD or may be late stage HIV that I got years ago?
Thank you again, I really appreciate this forum and your assistance.
1) Acute HIV symptoms can last that long, but onset is rarely if ever longer than 20 days.
2) No, this doesn't change anything.
3) Why are you speculating about something that didn't happen? Unnoticed condom breakage isn't realistic. In any case, this wouldn't make any difference, since she average risk of HIV transmission for any single episode of unprotected vaginal sex has been calculated at 1 in 2,000 (which is why many spouses of HIV infected people never catch HIV). Adding the low chance your partner had HIV, the chance of transmission would still be in the range of 1 in a million, tops.
4) You're over-thinking it. The details of what your tongue looks like make no difference, and the description does not suggest HIV or any STD.
These comments suggest that my reassurance alone isn't going to make you stop worrying. For that reason, you should have an HIV test. Enough time has passed for accurate testing (no, you don't need to wait 3 months). This doesn't mean I really believe there was a risk; I do not. Your test result will be negative. Feel free to return with that result, but let's hold off on further discussion until then.