Your question is too complex for a full answer - people wriote books on this. HIV does die quickly outside of the body and there has NEVER been a case of HIV transmission through masturbation - never. Even whne one persons genital secretions get on the other person. This is in part because the skin on most of the body is far thicker and resistant to infection than the skin o fthe genital track.
You need to get over your "what ifs". If you cannot, I urge you to seek professional help. Life is too short to worry about non-existant concerns. EWH
Thank you kindly for your answer...just one quick follow up. Why is it that these activities are not considered a risk?. I read alot about the survival of HIV outside the body. I also have heard that transmission must occur in a "tightly sealed enviroment" such as that when having intercourse. Could someone get infected with just a drop of blood? or does there have to be more. I am in a large canadian city and the HIV hotline here told me that the virus would never infect once it is exposed to air...they told me that some experts belier after a fraction of a second it is dead. You being a doctor do you agree or disagree with this?. Thank you for your time and your great work. Is it common for people to have irrational fears about HIV...I have suffered from these since I was 16 years old (Iam 31 now). I have tried many times to kick it...for this fear is the reason I never have sex but I figured a handjob was safe until I started in on the What ifs...
There is no reason for you to be concerned at all about the exposure you report, even in the unlikely, hypothetical situation that she might have had a fresh cut on her hands while masturbating you. There has NEVER been a case of HIV transmitted through mutual masturbation, ever. You can be sure that in some cases persons engaged in these activities had open sores or cuts on their hands. Thus to recount:
1. You do not know if she had HIV. On a statistical basis it is unlikely that she was.
2. As you suggest, the red spots you noted were most likely something other than blood
3. Even if 1&2 above were true, there has never been a case of HIV transmission due to mutual masturbation.
Putting all of this together, there is no reason for concern or for testing. I hope my note will provide you with piece of mind. EWH