I think that your approach to this encounter is appropriate. It is always good to ask your partners about their HIV status (although next time, far better to do it before sex). From all that you say about your partner (her assurance to you, the condoms, etc) I suspect that indeed she was telling the truth. In addition and perhaps even more important, the sex acts you engaged in were low risk. There is no risk from masturbation and oral sex is very, very low risk. The quoted figure for HIV risk, if one receives oral sex from an infected partner is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high. Some experts state there is no risk at all from oral sex. Neither of us on this site have ever seen or reading the medical literature of a convincing instance in which HIV was passed by oral sex.
As for your specific questions:
1. A transsexual commercial sex worker, statistically, is a high risk partner. Despite that, on a statistical basis she was likely not infected. Her characteristics make that even more likely than on average. Does that make her no or even average (for the population) risk - no , by no means but relatively low risk amongst such partners.
2. Kissing - zero risk. Receipt of oral sex, very, very low risk. See above.
3. I doubt that you need testing for this single encounter. On the other hand, should you choose to continue this behavior, it would be a good idea to get yourself tested on a regular basis.
Hope this helps. EWH
Thank you doctor. So if I understand correctly I couldn't get HIV from these sexual acts and don't need testing but if I do continue similar behavior to be smart and couscous correct?
also so it's ok if my wife and I have sex correct? Because we haven't used condoms since this should we be ok not using condoms??
Your risk is not zero, at least in theory but it is very close to zero. I would not worry aobut HIV and therefore see no reason for you to abstain from sex with your wife. EWH
thanks doctor it feels good to be able to move on from this