Welcome to the HIV forum.
What you "always thought" is correct: oral sex is safe. It carries almost no risk for HIV. Use the search function for this forum and enter "oral sex risk"; over 2,000 threads show up. Read several of them for detailed discussions. Rimming has never been known to transmit HIV. Finally, if you are in the US or other industrialized country, it is extremely unlikely that either of your partners had HIV anyway -- and in general people don't lie about it when asked directly.
As for your symptoms, they do not even hint at HIV as the cause. (I don't know what "SE" means and can't comment on it.) Changes in urine color usually are due to varation in fluid intake and diet. Your symptoms have nothing to do with the sexual exposures a month earlier. Probably caught some sort of minor virus. I see no concerns for your wife's health.
Of course see a doctor or clinic if your symptoms persist or you remain concerned. If this reassurance doesn't settle your fears about HIV, ask for an HIV test. You can expect it to be negative.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Thank you, sorry the se was Sex, and the only item i forgot was a variable clogged head with sore throat on and off....
oh and sorry one last item Dry cough which I know to be stress related...many I will say the mind is a powerful organ....
What about the published report in NEJM 1989 by PG Spitzer. Was that a legitimate case report? re: oral insertive transmission
I'm not the doctor, obviously, but I personally wouldn't give much weight to any scientific paper published in 1989, especially in a field like infectious disease, *especially* when it comes to HIV.
I'm on my phone, or I would give you the link to the CDC info on the risks associated with various activities. it's been quite a while, but I can tell you that the last time I read it, they generally considered insertive oral such low risk,they couldn't even quantify it.
Regardless, think about. If it were a risk, you'd hear about it-and not in some 20 year old paper :-)
Acute HIV infection generally does not cause cough or nasal/sinus congestion. You have a cold or allergy.
The case report is irrelevant. Oral sex transmission may occur from time to time (although some experts believe it doesn't and don't believe that report). Did you follow my advice to read some other threads about it? My reply says "almost" no risk. That someone saw fit to make a report of oral sex transmission is evidence how rare it is. You don't see case reports of HIV transmission by vaginal or anal sex.
Accept the reassurance and move on. I won't have anything more to say.