Aa
Relentless Nightmare
I hv ulcerative colitis & on Pentasa 500mg since 2 yrs. Happily married but committed the greatest sins ever: Oct10 this year I went / my colleagues to Ger on business visit & went to Koln FKK, I had 2 escorts protected vaginal w/ no defects-unprotected oral/receiver only) - 2nd nite the same but w/ 1 French kiss 1-2 min. Nov17 I had shiver and hi fever & night sweat (shiver a couple of times -fever 1st day 40C and the second 2 days 38 & then gone-had a minor fever blister on my upper lip & gone after 2 days-afterwards & 4 a period of 10 days I felt tiredness (no swollen nodes, no diarrhea, no loss of weight, no nausea, no headache, no ulcers) on 27 of Nov I had trip also 2 Germany, that date I felt a bit hard to breathe so went to the doc(X-ray clear and gave me Senicod and Aerius since assumed it is bronchitis) On the plane my ear popping during take-off and landing.since I shaved my hair neck with a razor, I had a rash on my back neck-on z plane- wide around .5eachx6 (for 3 days). Nov30&Dec1 we also went to FKK in Ffurt and had the same as above w/o any French Kissing / oral protected. Anxiety up - I was still feeling weak during the trip due chest congestion &smoking around 22 cig per day. back on Dec2 I went to the doc regardin my chest and gave me Tavanic Antibio (1.5 pills/day for 6 days) along w/ Senicod & a CBC and Ferritin (both were normal). CBC similar to 2010 WBC 8.8 (up from 8.2). I resumed work w/ minor fatigue. Panic: yesterday 16th when I felt itchy & had very itchy pimples are pinky & almost .6 cm each (2 on my left wrist 3 at the waist & 2 on my feet. I checked my body and was shocked to death when I saw rash around17 pimples (reddish, small, and not itchy at all) upon my back (left side only spread in a 15cm diam - don't know when they occurred.
Q: what r the odds of HIV (evident symptoms but i was almost perfectly protected, or might I be one of the unluckiest 0.2% in the world. Thank you
Dude,
I don't know how else I can really help any more.
Peeled skin has nothing to do with HIV. You know that very well, but your anxiety takes over and now, everything seems to be related to HIV to you. I think, if suddenly your TV set at your home has problem, you will probably blame it on HIV. Am I correct? You are getting way out of your mind already.
No, you are not going to make history. I'm not sure if your religion allows you to gamble. Why don't we make a bet? I bet USD 100 with you. I bet you will get negative result. If I win (you get negative result), you pay me only USD 1. If I lose (bad news), I pay you USD 100.
Dude, USD 100 is not a small amount for me. That proves how confident I'm that you will be negative.
It takes some special traits in humans that make history. You need to be very very lucky, probably like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and etc. Or, you need to be very very unlucky to make history (like die from lighting strike twice, die from airplane crash). Most of us will be neither very very lucky or very very unlucky. So, people like us, we won't make any history. Haha.
You seem to travel to Germany a lot. That means, you fly quite often, huh? If you are really that unlucky, you might have died from air plane crash. Think about that, for a while. Will you?
Dude, I seriously don't know how to help you. I think you will need a counsellor. I have met one few weeks ago. It did help. I suggest to you to find one also and talk to a counsellor.
In summary, if you feel panic, uncomfortable, come back to this post and I will try to list out the points that can make you think rationally:
1. NO ONE has ever been recorded to get HIV from receiving oral sex. NONE. In medical science, there's always a theoretical risk associated with an exposure but on practical, the risk is not relevant.
2. Your symptoms are not HIV related. If they are, your test result at 34 days should have been positive. But, the result is negative. So, that rules out ALL your symptoms.
3. Please check Dr. Sean's reply to you. He said, your risk is ZERO chance. You need to trust someone. Trust a doctor. And Dr. Sean is one of the best person you can trust. He's an expert.
4. As I said before, HIV is not an easy virus to catch. There have been many recorded cases, couples that had intercourses for few years or months, with one person is HIV positive and the other did not catch it. There's simply no explanation. All in GOD's hand.
5. I repeat you own statement. 'If a problem can be solved, then you don't have to worry about it. If a problem cannot be solved, then worrying is no good'.
6. I repeat again a statement from a doctor in my country. Up to 90% of people will get detected of HIV positive in 4 weeks. Your negative test result at 4 weeks is very re-assuring.
That's all I can help. If you ever feel panic, uncomfortable, come back and look at the 6 points and calm yourself down.
If both of us really will get positive test result, when we really need to cross the bridge, we will cross. But, right now, why you start to image the bridge is there. A lot of people are saying the bridge will not be there. But, you are imagining yourself crossing the bridge already. It's good that you have the worst plan, but once you have the plan, that's it. Don't think about it anymore. You have planned. What else you need to do? That's all about it, right?
Now, let me ask you, so far you have only planned about the worst possibility? Have you planned for the best possibility? What do you want to do when you get your negative result? Treat your family to a vacation? Start helping other needy peoples? Join the HIV/AIDS organization in your country and start helping really infected people or risky people? Or probably stop smoking (I bet your family would love that)?
Once you have planned for the worst, good. Done. Stop thinking about it. You have planned. Period. Think more about the good plans. What you want to do if your result is negative. I bet you have not planned, do you? Do it now.
And, get yourself a counsellor. I'm not a professional. That's only that much I can do.
Take care. Get help and trust Dr. Sean.
And please...I don't mean to embarrass you...but I really don't think you are a human with special traits (very very unlucky) that you can make history.
I don't know how else I can really help any more.
Peeled skin has nothing to do with HIV. You know that very well, but your anxiety takes over and now, everything seems to be related to HIV to you. I think, if suddenly your TV set at your home has problem, you will probably blame it on HIV. Am I correct? You are getting way out of your mind already.
No, you are not going to make history. I'm not sure if your religion allows you to gamble. Why don't we make a bet? I bet USD 100 with you. I bet you will get negative result. If I win (you get negative result), you pay me only USD 1. If I lose (bad news), I pay you USD 100.
Dude, USD 100 is not a small amount for me. That proves how confident I'm that you will be negative.
It takes some special traits in humans that make history. You need to be very very lucky, probably like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and etc. Or, you need to be very very unlucky to make history (like die from lighting strike twice, die from airplane crash). Most of us will be neither very very lucky or very very unlucky. So, people like us, we won't make any history. Haha.
You seem to travel to Germany a lot. That means, you fly quite often, huh? If you are really that unlucky, you might have died from air plane crash. Think about that, for a while. Will you?
Dude, I seriously don't know how to help you. I think you will need a counsellor. I have met one few weeks ago. It did help. I suggest to you to find one also and talk to a counsellor.
In summary, if you feel panic, uncomfortable, come back to this post and I will try to list out the points that can make you think rationally:
1. NO ONE has ever been recorded to get HIV from receiving oral sex. NONE. In medical science, there's always a theoretical risk associated with an exposure but on practical, the risk is not relevant.
2. Your symptoms are not HIV related. If they are, your test result at 34 days should have been positive. But, the result is negative. So, that rules out ALL your symptoms.
3. Please check Dr. Sean's reply to you. He said, your risk is ZERO chance. You need to trust someone. Trust a doctor. And Dr. Sean is one of the best person you can trust. He's an expert.
4. As I said before, HIV is not an easy virus to catch. There have been many recorded cases, couples that had intercourses for few years or months, with one person is HIV positive and the other did not catch it. There's simply no explanation. All in GOD's hand.
5. I repeat you own statement. 'If a problem can be solved, then you don't have to worry about it. If a problem cannot be solved, then worrying is no good'.
6. I repeat again a statement from a doctor in my country. Up to 90% of people will get detected of HIV positive in 4 weeks. Your negative test result at 4 weeks is very re-assuring.
That's all I can help. If you ever feel panic, uncomfortable, come back and look at the 6 points and calm yourself down.
If both of us really will get positive test result, when we really need to cross the bridge, we will cross. But, right now, why you start to image the bridge is there. A lot of people are saying the bridge will not be there. But, you are imagining yourself crossing the bridge already. It's good that you have the worst plan, but once you have the plan, that's it. Don't think about it anymore. You have planned. What else you need to do? That's all about it, right?
Now, let me ask you, so far you have only planned about the worst possibility? Have you planned for the best possibility? What do you want to do when you get your negative result? Treat your family to a vacation? Start helping other needy peoples? Join the HIV/AIDS organization in your country and start helping really infected people or risky people? Or probably stop smoking (I bet your family would love that)?
Once you have planned for the worst, good. Done. Stop thinking about it. You have planned. Period. Think more about the good plans. What you want to do if your result is negative. I bet you have not planned, do you? Do it now.
And, get yourself a counsellor. I'm not a professional. That's only that much I can do.
Take care. Get help and trust Dr. Sean.
And please...I don't mean to embarrass you...but I really don't think you are a human with special traits (very very unlucky) that you can make history.
Hi SunnyLee,
Many thanks bro.... you are gonna slap me but again and a few hours back I felt itchy between my 2 toes and found out that between the 2 middle toes on my left foot the skin is drastically peeled and there is an ulcer on the side of the middle toe (pimple which is whitish to transparent). I know SunnyLee it could be anything from not drying toes after shower or so... but to put it into this annoying perspective, I have been quite healthy before except for the Ulcerative Colitis and out of a sudden things are appearing at the right moments of ARS... Bro, I'm so negative and thinking I belong to the 0.005% to mark history.... I will go for the test in Germany on the 28th and will plan what to do next ... forgive my carzyness but decided if positive I will go back sell my assets in the country where I work and go back with my family to our home country... they will be tested as well: if negative I will support them till the end of life working my *** off and if posi, I already planned how my life would come to an end... sorry but can't take it anymore whenever I look at my child or wife I start shivering and go to the restroom to cry... not all the time, I only feel positive when I see your input but the next day if anything occurs I faint again.... SunnyLee, I don't deserve it, I am ready to give everything I've got to the poor (I'm not rich of course), ready to be a slave for God and family, I'm a person who got tempted on a rare occasion, but I'm not a bad person. pray for me my friend, pray for me. Xanax half pill (will check the dose when I get back)...
Many thanks bro.... you are gonna slap me but again and a few hours back I felt itchy between my 2 toes and found out that between the 2 middle toes on my left foot the skin is drastically peeled and there is an ulcer on the side of the middle toe (pimple which is whitish to transparent). I know SunnyLee it could be anything from not drying toes after shower or so... but to put it into this annoying perspective, I have been quite healthy before except for the Ulcerative Colitis and out of a sudden things are appearing at the right moments of ARS... Bro, I'm so negative and thinking I belong to the 0.005% to mark history.... I will go for the test in Germany on the 28th and will plan what to do next ... forgive my carzyness but decided if positive I will go back sell my assets in the country where I work and go back with my family to our home country... they will be tested as well: if negative I will support them till the end of life working my *** off and if posi, I already planned how my life would come to an end... sorry but can't take it anymore whenever I look at my child or wife I start shivering and go to the restroom to cry... not all the time, I only feel positive when I see your input but the next day if anything occurs I faint again.... SunnyLee, I don't deserve it, I am ready to give everything I've got to the poor (I'm not rich of course), ready to be a slave for God and family, I'm a person who got tempted on a rare occasion, but I'm not a bad person. pray for me my friend, pray for me. Xanax half pill (will check the dose when I get back)...
Dude,
You need to relax. Why suddenly you talked about suicide? Don't do that and don't talk about it ever again man!
Dude, again, your symptoms. If your symptoms are related to HIV, your test should have gone positive. But, it went negative. I do not know what causes the symptoms, but for sure they are not HIV related. You must understand this man. It's really that simple. If the symptoms are HIV related, test result positive. If test result negative, all the symptoms cannot be HIV related. They can be from cold, other viral infections or whatever man, except HIV.
So please man...stop worry about the symptoms anymore. Cool?
And, protected sex is certainly safe, with no condom break. Regardless on the condition of the vagina. As long as it is protected sex, safe. Simple, right?
On receiving oral sex, no single case has ever been recorded that HIV been transmitted this way. The risk of oral sex is always at the giving party, not the receiving party.
So, it's low risk to begin with.
Dude, you need to calm down, Looks like low dose Xanax is not enough to calm you down. I'm taking 0.25 mg every night before I sleep. What's the dose you take? If 0.25 mg is not working for you, you can increase to 0.5. But, don't over take. Don't smoke 1-2 hours before you sleep. From my feeling, I have tried it before, smoking just before taking Xanax. Seems like Xanax is not working too well. Reduce your smoking.
You need to relax. Why suddenly you talked about suicide? Don't do that and don't talk about it ever again man!
Dude, again, your symptoms. If your symptoms are related to HIV, your test should have gone positive. But, it went negative. I do not know what causes the symptoms, but for sure they are not HIV related. You must understand this man. It's really that simple. If the symptoms are HIV related, test result positive. If test result negative, all the symptoms cannot be HIV related. They can be from cold, other viral infections or whatever man, except HIV.
So please man...stop worry about the symptoms anymore. Cool?
And, protected sex is certainly safe, with no condom break. Regardless on the condition of the vagina. As long as it is protected sex, safe. Simple, right?
On receiving oral sex, no single case has ever been recorded that HIV been transmitted this way. The risk of oral sex is always at the giving party, not the receiving party.
So, it's low risk to begin with.
Dude, you need to calm down, Looks like low dose Xanax is not enough to calm you down. I'm taking 0.25 mg every night before I sleep. What's the dose you take? If 0.25 mg is not working for you, you can increase to 0.5. But, don't over take. Don't smoke 1-2 hours before you sleep. From my feeling, I have tried it before, smoking just before taking Xanax. Seems like Xanax is not working too well. Reduce your smoking.
Hi, you have been dragging me into a comfort zone and thank you for that. I checked the links and they look promising. However, still a bit pessimistic about the Rash that nothing similar occurred to me earlier and the WBC with up to 30% decline in one month only. To be honest, I still do highly believe that I got it though almost perfectly protected:(:( From my last trip, I am still suspicious about the first act and the last act:
First: though vaginal and BJ were protected, the lady's vagina was a bit abnormal with dark redness... the next day I had 3 acts: I was a bit feverish that week, bronchitis, I am uncircumsized - The first 2 acts on that day were perfectly protected but the 3rd one only vaginal was protected and now I started thinking: 3 BJs in 7 hours, uncircumsized, I was a bit sick that day, I have an autoimmune disease: if the lady had a cut in her mouth the blood would have entered the tip of my penis ... I don't know dude but believe me the entire ARS are occurring to me but on a lower scale... let's see: Rash Fever (only mild and recurrent) - Mouth disorder (kind of small ulcer on tongue) - Fatigue (moderately but yes) - Night sweats (till date) - Lack of proper sleep (till date) - Loss of Appetite (for 3 days roughly) - loss of weight (around 2-3 KG roughly) - muscle pain (lower back) - lymph node: bit swollen since 2 days ago neck and on left side - Diarrhea: GI disorder / once per day half loose till date - brown patches/blotches on back: yes but I usually had them but still believe not that large - white thrush: yes and always had them due to ulcerative colitis but not that condensed - Dry cough: yap specially at night but probably due to excess of smoking - .... I don't know SunnyLee, if not HIV then what is it??:( I did too many tests on Jan. 10th and all were normal and was hoping for abnormality but the CBC and the result was the opposite. There is something really wrong going on. I even took Xanax last night around 11PM and woke up at 5:00 AM (1.30 hrs before). since I will be leaving for Germany on the 28th, I will take an OraQuick if feasible... can't think of the consequences,,,, SunnyLee, I surfed the web 2 nights ago on how to people commit suicide, I can't believe myself that I have been a kind of religious, optimistic throughout my life, full of positive energy, and now in one month I became suicidal but can't live with it... just can't SunnyLee.... I am still utterly devasted though your gave me lots of hope earlier. thank you anyhow and take care my friend.
First: though vaginal and BJ were protected, the lady's vagina was a bit abnormal with dark redness... the next day I had 3 acts: I was a bit feverish that week, bronchitis, I am uncircumsized - The first 2 acts on that day were perfectly protected but the 3rd one only vaginal was protected and now I started thinking: 3 BJs in 7 hours, uncircumsized, I was a bit sick that day, I have an autoimmune disease: if the lady had a cut in her mouth the blood would have entered the tip of my penis ... I don't know dude but believe me the entire ARS are occurring to me but on a lower scale... let's see: Rash Fever (only mild and recurrent) - Mouth disorder (kind of small ulcer on tongue) - Fatigue (moderately but yes) - Night sweats (till date) - Lack of proper sleep (till date) - Loss of Appetite (for 3 days roughly) - loss of weight (around 2-3 KG roughly) - muscle pain (lower back) - lymph node: bit swollen since 2 days ago neck and on left side - Diarrhea: GI disorder / once per day half loose till date - brown patches/blotches on back: yes but I usually had them but still believe not that large - white thrush: yes and always had them due to ulcerative colitis but not that condensed - Dry cough: yap specially at night but probably due to excess of smoking - .... I don't know SunnyLee, if not HIV then what is it??:( I did too many tests on Jan. 10th and all were normal and was hoping for abnormality but the CBC and the result was the opposite. There is something really wrong going on. I even took Xanax last night around 11PM and woke up at 5:00 AM (1.30 hrs before). since I will be leaving for Germany on the 28th, I will take an OraQuick if feasible... can't think of the consequences,,,, SunnyLee, I surfed the web 2 nights ago on how to people commit suicide, I can't believe myself that I have been a kind of religious, optimistic throughout my life, full of positive energy, and now in one month I became suicidal but can't live with it... just can't SunnyLee.... I am still utterly devasted though your gave me lots of hope earlier. thank you anyhow and take care my friend.
Hello Ronin,
No need to apologize. Please.
I really do not think your rash has anything to do with HIV. Reason is, HIV rash almost always appear together with very high fever and severe sore throat. With rash, very high fever and severe sore throats, there is no way you can miss it. Because the symptoms will last for at least a week to 2 weeks. So, it's really unforgettable.
So, in your case you only mentioned bout mild fever. I don't remember you ever said anything bout sore throat. So, NO WAY NO HOW.
And, you are absolutely, perfectly correct. A test at 34 days must be positive if the symptoms are HIV related. But, it comes negative. So, ALL the symptoms that you have mentioned has nothing to do with HIV at all.
So, bro...it's good news!
Yes. Good boy....only reads from the recommended websites. Good...good...boy...Hahaha....
And, I have read a post in HIV Prevention Forum in Medhelp. Almost the same exposure like us....guess what the Oral sex exposure. And, you can read what Dr. Hook's reply to the person:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/STD-HIV-Confusion/show/1669611
You need to remain calm and fully understand that your exposure is very very low risk. And, dude, NO ONE...i mean no one has ever been transmitted HIV from receiving oral sex. Protected sex with condom is safe. Other than this, other exposures, like skin touching and etc. are not considered as risks
Go ahead...take some time to read the posts in Medhelp Forums, check the links that I have given. You will then understand that our exposures are really low risk.
It's OK to get worry, my friend. I get worry a lot as well. Human does get worry when they have a problem or challenge in front them. However, information is power. From these forums, we can get information. Not just simple information but accurate, reliable information from experts in the field. By reading the posts, I understand more and now get relax, because the risk is low.
There's no guarantee now that I would be 100% test negative this coming 12 weeks from my last exposure. I think no doctors can guarantee that now. But, if that happens, I must be the worst luck person in the world. And, probably create history as well. Haha. I don't believe you and me are that bad in terms of luck. Else, we would have died strike by lighting.
So, keep positive. Our test results will be negative.
No need to apologize. Please.
I really do not think your rash has anything to do with HIV. Reason is, HIV rash almost always appear together with very high fever and severe sore throat. With rash, very high fever and severe sore throats, there is no way you can miss it. Because the symptoms will last for at least a week to 2 weeks. So, it's really unforgettable.
So, in your case you only mentioned bout mild fever. I don't remember you ever said anything bout sore throat. So, NO WAY NO HOW.
And, you are absolutely, perfectly correct. A test at 34 days must be positive if the symptoms are HIV related. But, it comes negative. So, ALL the symptoms that you have mentioned has nothing to do with HIV at all.
So, bro...it's good news!
Yes. Good boy....only reads from the recommended websites. Good...good...boy...Hahaha....
And, I have read a post in HIV Prevention Forum in Medhelp. Almost the same exposure like us....guess what the Oral sex exposure. And, you can read what Dr. Hook's reply to the person:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/STD-HIV-Confusion/show/1669611
You need to remain calm and fully understand that your exposure is very very low risk. And, dude, NO ONE...i mean no one has ever been transmitted HIV from receiving oral sex. Protected sex with condom is safe. Other than this, other exposures, like skin touching and etc. are not considered as risks
Go ahead...take some time to read the posts in Medhelp Forums, check the links that I have given. You will then understand that our exposures are really low risk.
It's OK to get worry, my friend. I get worry a lot as well. Human does get worry when they have a problem or challenge in front them. However, information is power. From these forums, we can get information. Not just simple information but accurate, reliable information from experts in the field. By reading the posts, I understand more and now get relax, because the risk is low.
There's no guarantee now that I would be 100% test negative this coming 12 weeks from my last exposure. I think no doctors can guarantee that now. But, if that happens, I must be the worst luck person in the world. And, probably create history as well. Haha. I don't believe you and me are that bad in terms of luck. Else, we would have died strike by lighting.
So, keep positive. Our test results will be negative.
Hi SunnyLee,
I will take your advice and promise I will not look for symptoms and will only surf the said webs. Regarding sleeping pills, I managed to get Lyrica pills from Pfizer and tomorrow my friend will get me Xanax or Lexotanil. I just checked the link before I opened the thread and looked quite promising for me. Rash: well, I will rely on the 2 dermatologists I saw since they told me that they were insect related (though the timing is strange: exactly 2 weeks after last exposure and they were itchy and a bit irritating... however, and as you told me, if they were the HIV Malucopapular rash, the test should have been posititive by the 34th day. I looked at the pictures but I don't have a trained eye: almost similar to the pictures of HIV but a bit bigger and unlike the picture, they were spread and separate around the trunk but around 7-9 on my tricep (those are the ones that worried me much and started thinking am I that lucky that for the first time I get insect bites straight 2 weeks post exposure!? Maybe God is working in mysterious ways and will be his slave forever. Anyhow, thanks a lot SunnyLee, I will try to dodge negative thoughts and probably I should do the test on the 3rd month cos even if I did it this week, I will remain anxious again and again. You're the best bro and forgive me for being a monkey on your shoulder.
Good night man.
I will take your advice and promise I will not look for symptoms and will only surf the said webs. Regarding sleeping pills, I managed to get Lyrica pills from Pfizer and tomorrow my friend will get me Xanax or Lexotanil. I just checked the link before I opened the thread and looked quite promising for me. Rash: well, I will rely on the 2 dermatologists I saw since they told me that they were insect related (though the timing is strange: exactly 2 weeks after last exposure and they were itchy and a bit irritating... however, and as you told me, if they were the HIV Malucopapular rash, the test should have been posititive by the 34th day. I looked at the pictures but I don't have a trained eye: almost similar to the pictures of HIV but a bit bigger and unlike the picture, they were spread and separate around the trunk but around 7-9 on my tricep (those are the ones that worried me much and started thinking am I that lucky that for the first time I get insect bites straight 2 weeks post exposure!? Maybe God is working in mysterious ways and will be his slave forever. Anyhow, thanks a lot SunnyLee, I will try to dodge negative thoughts and probably I should do the test on the 3rd month cos even if I did it this week, I will remain anxious again and again. You're the best bro and forgive me for being a monkey on your shoulder.
Good night man.
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