Aa
14 Months and I Just Want to Get Over This
I am writing this in the hope that my paranoia will be finally calmed.
My question has two parts, as I have two things that are bothering me.
1) 14 months ago, a female acquaintance performed oral and masturbatory sex on me while I fingered her. It was a little dry, and while she did it, it felt like a sort of rug burn on the glans of my penis. After I ejaculated. I went straight to the bathroom and washed my penis with soap and water thoroughly. I do not remember if I used the same hand that I fingered her with to wash my penis. I am circumcised. Although I know that hand-genital contact carries little risk, I am worried by conflicting reports on washing after sex. One report based on results from Uganda warns of an increase in risk in uncircumcised men if they wash. Another one from Kenya says that risk is lowered if the male is circumcised and he washes. Which report is true? Are both? My fear is that the rough oral and manual sex created microtears in my penis, and that I accidentally rubbed her vaginal fluids into them while I washed.
2) I was worried after I spoke to her about her sexual history. She had not been very promiscuous (5 total partners, several long-term), but had slept with a stranger one month earlier and didn't use protection. It sounded even sketchier when she said that he was with a group promoting AIDS awareness in France. She is asian, but was studying in France. I met her in Korea. My overactive mind made up a scenario where he was HIV positive and didn't tell her, had infected her and now she had in turn infected me. I took HIV 1/2 Ag/Ab blood tests at 3 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months. They were all negative. I was fine until I started to hear about the possibility that rapid tests were not as accurate as some had thought. I assume the tests I took were rapid because I got the results within a few days or within a few hours. Is it possible that I got 3 false-negatives in a row? Please tell me that I should learn to move past this.
My question has two parts, as I have two things that are bothering me.
1) 14 months ago, a female acquaintance performed oral and masturbatory sex on me while I fingered her. It was a little dry, and while she did it, it felt like a sort of rug burn on the glans of my penis. After I ejaculated. I went straight to the bathroom and washed my penis with soap and water thoroughly. I do not remember if I used the same hand that I fingered her with to wash my penis. I am circumcised. Although I know that hand-genital contact carries little risk, I am worried by conflicting reports on washing after sex. One report based on results from Uganda warns of an increase in risk in uncircumcised men if they wash. Another one from Kenya says that risk is lowered if the male is circumcised and he washes. Which report is true? Are both? My fear is that the rough oral and manual sex created microtears in my penis, and that I accidentally rubbed her vaginal fluids into them while I washed.
2) I was worried after I spoke to her about her sexual history. She had not been very promiscuous (5 total partners, several long-term), but had slept with a stranger one month earlier and didn't use protection. It sounded even sketchier when she said that he was with a group promoting AIDS awareness in France. She is asian, but was studying in France. I met her in Korea. My overactive mind made up a scenario where he was HIV positive and didn't tell her, had infected her and now she had in turn infected me. I took HIV 1/2 Ag/Ab blood tests at 3 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months. They were all negative. I was fine until I started to hear about the possibility that rapid tests were not as accurate as some had thought. I assume the tests I took were rapid because I got the results within a few days or within a few hours. Is it possible that I got 3 false-negatives in a row? Please tell me that I should learn to move past this.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
"Trust me on this: ...there are no facts you can think of, or scenarious your mind might consider, that would change my opinion or advice."
Just to be clear, it wouldn't make a difference that the tests were rapid rather than standard? This will be my last post. Thank you.
Thank you, Dr. Handsfield. I think I let the chatter about rapid tests get to me, and my imagination get a little bit out of control. Thanks you for the prompt reply. God bless.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
You describe a low risk exposure. HIV is never transmitted by hand-genital contact, and almost never by oral sex, especially from mouth to penis. So even if your partner had HIV, you were not at risk. And it sounds like she is at no risk anyway. Most important, your tests are negative and it is not possible to have three false negative results. And your "overactive mind" scenario is impossible.
So indeed you should "learn to move past this". I'm concerned that you have not done so already, and worried that your obsession about it is abnormal. In other words, the problem here is one of mental health, not HIV risk. My guess is you are going to continue to worry about this until and unless you seek professional counseling about it. I make this suggestion from compassion, not criticism.
Trust me on this: you were not at risk and are not infected with HIV; and there are no facts you can think of, or scenarious your mind might consider, that would change my opinion or advice.
Regards-- HHH, MD
You describe a low risk exposure. HIV is never transmitted by hand-genital contact, and almost never by oral sex, especially from mouth to penis. So even if your partner had HIV, you were not at risk. And it sounds like she is at no risk anyway. Most important, your tests are negative and it is not possible to have three false negative results. And your "overactive mind" scenario is impossible.
So indeed you should "learn to move past this". I'm concerned that you have not done so already, and worried that your obsession about it is abnormal. In other words, the problem here is one of mental health, not HIV risk. My guess is you are going to continue to worry about this until and unless you seek professional counseling about it. I make this suggestion from compassion, not criticism.
Trust me on this: you were not at risk and are not infected with HIV; and there are no facts you can think of, or scenarious your mind might consider, that would change my opinion or advice.
Regards-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the HIV - Prevention Forum
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.
