Condom placed incorrectly

[wonder2345]

After 3 1/2 months of hell and testing negative for HIV.  Here I go again.  Two weeks ago I had protected sex with the same man I've known for sometime...I'm a woman.  After sex, I noticed that he put on the condom all the way and didn't leave room at the tip for the semen.  When I looked at his  penis with the condom still on, I noticed that there was semen squished on the head of his penis and also squished along the side of his penis.  I also noticed bodily fluids above the condom which he said was me.  He was sure that all his semen was in the condom but I'm still worried.  What are the chances that semen came out of the condom?   I can't go through this again.   This event happened 5/19 and I went today, 6/11 and had an oraquick blood finger ***** test done which was negative.  BTW I know it's too early, I just had to go for my mental well being.  Since my initial exposure which I tested negative for 3 1/2 months after, I developed a swollen lymph node on my neck and just this week developed another one which I just had an ultrasound done...am awaiting results.  So while I tested negative, HIV is still on my mind because of the nodes and especially now with the May condom experience.  Your advice is greatly appreciated.

[wonder2345]

Your advice is greatly appreciated.  Thanks again.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

I understand your stress but have to say that there is little to be concerned about.  If you continue to get tested, I think it needs to be acknowledged that it is more for your piece of mind than for a medical indication.  I see no medical reason for continued testing at all.  Sometimes the  convergence of findings (i.e concerns over a sexual encounter and a swollen lynph node can cause great concens despite the fact that they are "true-true - unrelated".  I hope this is helpful.  EWH

[wonder2345]

I know that he was tested in Nov.'07 for life insurance and got a clean bill of health.  He told me that he hasn't been with anyone other than me since Aug.'07.  He also had std tests done Feb.'08 after I found out that I had HSV2 earlier that month and informed him.  But to date, he states that regarding his Feb. '08 tests, he asked to be tested for everything and assumes that HIV was part of the panel and that everything was fine.  He refuses to call his doctor and ask what tests were done because he doesn't want to seem neurotic etc.  He is confident that he is in perfect health.  I on the other hand, have had several HIV tests and all were negative.  I know that we discussed the lymph node matter before and am having tests for that.  I’ve just been quite stressed over this whole thing and having another node appear has put me over the top.  I apologize for appearing unstable.  That being said, should I just relax with my 3 ½ negative HIV test before the May encounter or do recommend that I continue to test?  BTW, I am aware of the posting rules.  Thanks.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

There are several facets to your question.  Let's first discuss the condom and then your risk.

Regarding the condom.  Odds are that the condom performed as desired.  Condoms are quite elastic and have substantial capacity to contain ejaculate even when put on without leaving space at the tip.   The major problem which follows from putting them on without leaving space is that it increases the chance of breakage.  Odds are that all ejaculate remained in the condom.  Furthermore, please remember that in virtually all sex small amount of genital secretions are "shared" between partners yet despite this condoms reduce the risk of HIV 99%

Now let's discuss the partner. I see this is the same partner that you had sex with last time you posted both on this forum and the various communities (I looked). Odds are he did not have HIV (or for that matter, other STDs). Less than 1% of the population has HIV and if he is not a man who has sex with other men or an IV drug user, the odds are far lower.  The most direct way to deal with your aprehensions is for him (or both or you) to go get tested for HIV and for that matter for any other infectins that concern you.  If he is not infected (I doubt that he is),  then you are at NO risk.  That way you would not have to go through the waiting period of 8-12 weeks to be sure that you are not infected (I'm confident of this now).

As for the nodes, we've discuss the issues of symtoms before.  Nodes fall in the same category.  They are not a matter to be concerned.

Hope this helps.  EWH
p.s.  I also note this is your second post in 3 months. The site's rules request that clients post no more than twicein any 6 month period so once this is sorted out it will be necessary to wait several months before more questions.  Hope this helps.  EWH