I am losing my mind

[Jmll]

I want to say thank you to this community, it has helped me a lot to calm me down. 2 weeks ago I was on vacation and went to a strip club where I was entertained by a sex worker. Towards the middle of the episode I noticed the condom had broken.  The sex worker noticed and immediately put one on for me. I immediately rationalized in my mind that my life was over. I started searching all over the internet for symptoms of HIV and within a day starting to get them. My body itched all over. I couldn't sleep so I started taking Tylenol PM 3 times a day. I was nausea's all the time and thought it was the HIV in my body, when in fact it might as well been the Tylenol PM itself that was causing it. I am currently in my head waiting for the fever to kick in. I can't live with myself. I have cried non stop for the last 2 weeks. I'm not a sexually active person at all and relatively in good health. I feel like this has been the worst decision in my life.  

Symptoms:
Swollen Lymph Nodes on neck. Painful Armpits. Itchy Body. Rash on thighs, and butt cheeks.
I have always had bad skin but I'm starting to notice a rash on my thigh's that I have never gotten in my life. I don't know if they are pimples or not. They just seem different.

I am so depressed right now and I don't know if that has lowered my immune system. I'm young and just graduated college. Something like this would kill me. I have had suicidal thoughts (sadly).

I want to thank you guy's for reading this. Bless You.

[Jmll]

Thanks

[LIZZIE LOU]

stop "searching" for symptoms...symptoms dont diagnose hiv.

[Jmll]

Thanks.

I just feel like I'm starting to get all the symtoms and am going mad. Every Symptom pushes me over the edge.

[LIZZIE LOU]

pleae go back and re-read the comments you've gotten.

[Jmll]

Okay now I'm really scared. For the past 4-5 days I have had a slight lower addominal pain. It doesn't cause diarrhea, it just aches. For the first time ever the pain was so bad that it got me out of bed. It's 6 am and I didn't sleep. It seems that the only thing that dulls the pain is eating more.

Am I screwed?

I did have 2 redbulls last night, which can cause stomach discomfort. Could it be the cause?

Why is this happening to me?

[uhoh294]

I know it can happen.. But isn't it very unlikely for a man to contract HIV from a woman from having unprotected sex once? Even if she is positive?

[bigboss123]

Maybe you should see a Dr. about the itching it is more than likely something simple a trip to your Dr. can take care of. It is not HIV. Listen to Teak he knows his stuff. And try to keep you mind off of the worrieing.

[Teak]

Itching is not related to ARS or HIV.

[Jmll]

I was on a Positivity Challenge all day and kept myself busy and out of my head. It worked pretty good. After a shower, for some reason my body keeps itching. I have excellent hygeine. Does anyone now if it could be some sort of std? The rash i'm developing is starting to freak me out because it on my chest, arms, and thigh's. Any idea's?

Sorry for so many questions.

[scratch81]

oh i forgot about the rules

[scratch81]

yea sure its ***@****

[alright999]

the symptoms were due to anxiety. I experienced exactly the same thing and now after reading so much and talking to counselors i become pretty knowledgeable about hiv. no need to worry. if you want leave your email and we can share more.

[scratch81]

Hiv is a serious consern and believe me people everyday have sex and a good time. Dont let this scare you to a point where you are scared to have sex with anyone just be more carefull god bless

[Jmll]

Thanks People. You guys are a lot of help. I feel like I'm talking to a therapist.

Mbhurt, your right man, hours after the incident occurred I began searching for symptoms of ARS and started to feel them within a day. I have been in my head torturing myself for the last 2 weeks. I need to stop being so self conscious.

Hope everything comes back well.

Once again thanks for the support. Means a lot. I'm a lot happier now then when before I posted this.

You guys are great.

[scratch81]

Thanks for helping me out that what i meant to say .
On a serious note yes its a risk haveing sex with a prostite because of the fact you dont know who she have been with.
If your condom broke with a girl next door i can garantee you that most people on here would not even panick for the fact you know she has not been with so many people.
So just by thinking this girl douse this for a living makes you wonder all the bad things.
most csw dont have anything they trying to protect from you .

[bigboss123]

First of all calm down. Lets look at this. Ask yourself this did you have any symptoms before you started reading into ARS symptoms? Prob. not. More than likely your mind is playing tricks on you. Your mind is very powerfull. If you beleve you are sick you will get sick. I bet  most of your symptoms are anxiaty related.
Now as for your risk. Yes you did have a risk since your condom broke. But a good sign is she made you put on another. To protect her self. Good sign she was clean. Now when the 3 month window is up go get tested. Very very good chance it comes back neg. In the meen time. Do not stress over something you more than likely dont have.

[Teak]

HIV can and has been known to be transmitted on the first exposure so statistical numbers are not good for diagnosing an exposure.

[scratch81]

and thinking about it makes you more aware off lymph,diareha and other things you would have noramly not even noticed.

[scratch81]

oh i think think anxiety can play a big role in symptoms because i believe it lowers your immune system. Someone correct me if im wrong. thanks

[scratch81]

I believe you can creat the symptoms because i believe i have. Teak has told me many times that i was at no risk and in my mind i feel like i was because i feel guilty about the situation i was in. Its hard to deal with all the what if's that could have happened but considering even if the sex worker had hiv it would be 1:2000 chance you would have it. So calm down you cant get hiv that easy.

[Hope242]

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIV-Anxiety-Support/show/595?camp=msc
There is information in the Anxiety forum that can help with this

[Jmll]

Let me ask you guys a question, If you are constantly looking for symptoms to appear (though they haven't) can you create them? I have noticed that the rash wasn't there and I was waiting for it to come and it did.

[Jmll]

Thanks Teak & Scratch81.

[scratch81]

Because you always had bad skin explains your rash and i bet your anxiety is lowering your immune system wich is makeing you break out even more. I have been through this already and you like myself have been haveing sex with hookers and always pernoid and anxiet 3 days after it happend. So my advice is for you to calm down go take a free rapis test in 2 weeks and try to be resonable.