Protected Anal, afraid of broken condom, unprotected oral

[sjcj20013]

Hi Doctor Hook. 3 days ago i met with another man in which he performed unprotected oral sex to me. After that i performed protected anal to him which lasted about 1-2 minutes because i couldn't get a hard erection. After that he asked if i wanted to "bottom" which i did. It was my first experience of that type. He put on a condom and proceeded to penetrate me. That also lasted very short time, maybe 1-2 minutes because it hurt me and i wasn't enjoying it. After that he proceeded to do a little more oral on me while fingering my anus. Neither of us ejaculated. I didn't really pay attention to the condoms but didn't notice any break or tears. I'm just concerned that while he was penetrating me the condom might have slipped or break, even though it wasn't for such a long time. After i asked him if he had HIV or other diseases and he said NO, he was clean and had tested Negative on 07/23/13 for HIV. It concerned me also that after i followed up b4 i asked him if he was clean, i asked him if he was willing to do it with me without protection and he said yes but for some $$ from my part. I was just testing him and that scared me to think maybe he has had unprotected sex with other people and maybe he has the virus. What are the chances i could've caught HIV if the condom broke or slipped from that short exposure? I am worried and is it safe to continue having unprotected sex with my wife?  By the way, the day after the encounter i went to the doctor, she suggested i take a blood/rapid test which i'm waiting the results tomorrow. I understand they might have been useless considering the time frame, but she said i take one that day and follow up with other as time progresses. Am i over reacting, am i worrying too much? I am mostly concerned about the possibility his condom might have slipped or broken while penetrating me. When i tried penetrating him, my condom was fine. Thank you, Sir.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

"...asking if i should just put the incident behind me and continue my life with my routine..given that this was a low or no risk incident?"

Yes, that is exactly what you should do.

That's definitely all for this thread.

[sjcj20013]

Thank you, Doctor for your reply once again.

I do understand I'm probably overreacting to this issue. It was my first and last encounter of that type, i guess that's why i'm worrying too much, not use to it.

I'll end this by asking if i should just put the incident behind me and continue my life with my routine..given that this was a low or no risk incident?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

None of those symptoms suggest HIV or any other STD.  However, they are quite typical for the sorts of physical complaints associated with stress, anxiety, etc -- which is obviously an issue here.

[sjcj20013]

I'm getting married this Saturday and would like to have my anxiety done with :(  

I so regret having comited this dumb act.

[sjcj20013]

Dr. Handsfield, after 5 days of my exposure, i'm starting to feel some weird syntoms:

Pinching pain on hand finger nails
Dizzyness
Loss of appetite
Stomach cramps, pains
Diarrhea

Amongts others.

I'm still worried i might have contracted HIV from the stranger by possibly condom rupture or other means.

Please help reply.  thank you in advance.

[sjcj20013]

Thank you, Sir!

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

I already said that testing isn't necessary from a strictly medical  perspective, but I still recommed it.  See my last reply.  The decision is yours -- but your doctor apparently is also expecting you to have a follow-up test and I can't imagine why you would not want to do it, strictly for reassurance value.  Anyway, I cannot lead you by the hand.  

[sjcj20013]

Thank you. I do value your expert feedback on my issue. I feel much at ease now. Would you still recommend a second test at 6-8weeks from a mmedical point of view or is it not necessary?

Sorry for the ongoing questions. This should be my last

[sjcj20013]

Thank you. I do value your expert feedback on my issue. I feel much at ease now. Would you still recommend a second test at 6-8weeks from a mmedical point of view or is it not necessary?

Sorry for the ongoing questions. This should be my last.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Dr. Hook and I rarely recommend HIV testing after any particular exposure, unless the risk is a lot higher then yours -- e.g. a known poz partner.  On the other hand, we always recommend testing in people who are worried, even if the exposure was low risk -- because most people who are anxious enough to come to an online forum probably gain more confidence from a negative test result than to reassurance based only on expert opinion.

[sjcj20013]

Thank you Dr. Handsfield! Yes, it has been my only encounter with a man and it will be my last. So is it safe to assume that I didn't catch hiv from this encounter? My mind has been going crazy with anxiety thinking of the consequences of my foolish act. Also, would you have suggested me to take an hiv test from this incident or is it something that most people don't consider risky enough to take a test? Thanks again.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.  Dr. Hook and I take questions without regard to requests for either of us.  We have worked closely together for 30+ years and our advice never differs significantly.

Congratulations to you and your partner for pursuing maximally safe practices (within the context of non-monogamous sex with another man):  you used condoms for anal sex and shared your HIV status.  If you continue to have sex with other men, you'll inherently need to accept at least a small risk of having HIV someday.  But if you go about it as you did here, you can expect to remain free of HIV.  It is true that if your partner sometimes has unprotected sex with other men, his risk is higher.  But the important thing is that you used condoms that remained intact; and people rarely lie about their HIV status when asked directly, so it is unlikely your partner is infected.

Ruptured condoms are hard to miss, and this also is something your partner is unlikely to have lied about.  You can be confident the condoms remained intact.

Given your concerns, it wasn't unreasonable for your doctor to suggest HIV testing.  Three days is far too soon to be positive from this exposure, but it serves as a baseline, which undoubtedly is why your doctor recommend it.  However, assuming this is your only potential exposure to HIV, you definitely can expect your follow-up test(s) to remain negative.  

Can you safely continue unprotected sex with your wife?  Probably yes, and that's what I would do if somehow I found myself in circumstances like yours.  That said, of course I cannot give you a 100% guarantee.  The bottom line (no pun intended) is that you'll have to make your own decision about it.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD